Life In Patches!

Thanx! I'm elated! so much encouragement from your side ... keep it up!...lolls ...

It's much better yara. 'too' still looks redundant though. Needless to say, I can't help appreciating the verses

Like a cracking shore of ocean,
Quenched and left and quenched,
By water in each a little potion

each time I read it. Certainly on par with some of the best English poetry, and I don't exaggerate. Excellent stuff!

Thank you all buddies for appreciating and liking the poem!
So very thanks!

Beautiful addition to English literature

nice

I second that what Nadeen stated in her comment.

keep writing my friend, this burden will lessen, but the pain may remain, as there is no cure, they say its time, but time in itself carries its own wounds.....

Granting a life in the shorter whiles,
O' love! is an act unkind I fear,
Come forth forever! crossing the miles,
The pain, the separation's too hard to bear!


Excellent!

"from the bowls of your eyes"
Beautiful expression :-)

And thanx Nadeen for appreciating it!

Here's the altered last verse. Hope it sounds less dramatic.
Shobig and Dilirium!...

I like thse lines by Robert Frost - Math teacher taught us these -

Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

aha Nadeen! That used to be my favorite poem during school and still is one of the favorites. Thanks for bringing it up. There's another one, most probably by Frost, in a similar tone too, lemme see if I can dig it out.

Like a cracking shore of ocean,
Quenched and left and quenched,
By water in each a little potion,
My heart is parched; a bit drenched

That is very good verse!
Reminds me of something I read in school:

UNFATHOMABLE SEA - A poem by Percy Bysshe Shelley


Unfathomable Sea!
whose waves are years,
Ocean of Time,
whose waters of deep woe
Are brackish with the salt of human tears!
Thou shoreless flood,
which in thy ebb and flow
Claspest the limits of mortality!

And sick of prey,
yet howling on for more,
Vomitest thy wrecks on its inhospitable shore;
Treacherous in calm, and terrible in storm,
Who shall put forth on thee,
Unfathomable Sea?

http://www.poetry-online.org/shelley_unfathomable_sea.htm

Thanx Delilirium and Shobig! It might be a moment of madness that stretched the verses to a dramatic effect, which I'll try to review.
You're always encouraging shobig bhai, hence my confidence to write. Thanx again..

yaar Aadil you keep getting better all the time. It's awesome. Though the last verse, as delirium pointed out, makes it look a bit too dramatic and not quite poetic, if you know what I mean.

Beautiful ! Don't swear and pls don't die.