Blessed

These prolonged spells of my numbness
As these forgetful moments meander around
Remains in me, my silence and this existence
Unnoticed, as I lay on the kitchen floor
Part I am of this world and the world around me
Yet so different, unseen and untouched
Unheard are my tales, of what I see and hear
Only I know, only I know, as these moments dwell
As I fight to hold peace, as I fight to forget
As these cracks inside me begin to widen
Only the reflection, only its damage inside
Numerous attempts to keep this together
The old promise of peace and memory
Like an old perfume in its wilderness

They say it will disappear, this old hysteria
Remains it to be seen, as my hands and soul
In uncontrollable gestures, in unknown forms
Disappeared and scattered, my being
In wilderness I dream, in wilderness I dance
Like the old dervishes, my disheveled hair
As I forget the needs to remain sane
Surrendered and surrounded in my domains
Unheard and untold, as I lay on the kitchen floor
As passing of days and nights, in my gaze
Of no meanings and of no significance,
As I grieve for lost existence and of old dreams
Falter these instincts once so powerful and exact
Against all these notion, as I lay on the kitchen floor

Lost I am in this fury of days and nights
In these prolonged spells of my numbness
Remains in me, my silence and my existence
In numbness I dwell, my only comfort and medicine
As the rivers flow, unseen and unnoticed
In fury of my numbness, through days and nights
Only the cracks visible, as I lay on the kitchen floor
Still alive, amidst this chaos and abstract
Remain I in state of blessing and its euphoria
Of my old association, with a butterfly and colour
Carries me this trail and this mist to sleep
In portions, in pieces and in corners of my being
Against these notions, of convention and tradition
Remain I blessed, inside me, in my numbness
An old secret, of purity and freedom,
As I travel to the world unknown

No more journeys to make, and here I will remain
The old blessing in me, in distance and in words
Never will it depart, never will it leave
In moment infinite, only I know,
Keeps me alive, this old desire and peace
And old visit from angels and light,
in my distant past, of oceans and continent
Through these prolonged spells of my numbness
As these forgetful moments meander around
Remains in me, my silence and my existence
Remain I blessed, as it bring me to sleep
The old desert and its songs, as I walk towards you
Not far away, those caravans of light and distance
So near as I begin to talk, as I begin to dance
Unraveled like an old myth, in my world
In moments infinite, in my spells of numbness
Remains I blessed, in fury of magic and splendor
To greet this world, as I stand there
In my absence, as the mind begins to revolt!


Kashkin