A welcome letter to my new love…

(From chowk.com/unplugged/t/54525)

Topic started by BJ2 on Jun 20, 2008 3:49:48 am
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My dear…

As you come closer to me, the miles shortening by the hours, I can hardly hold my breath in anticipation.

I know, we have never met but I have seen your pictures of beauty and a lot of good things have been said about you.

Ever since I saw your very first picture, you took my breath away.

I can hardly wait for you to arrive, so then I can welcome you to my humble abode and escort you personally to your new place and your new life.

Your new life – dedicated to my new life!

I will take care of your needs and you will take care of mine – and perhaps nobody else’s.

You will take care of my bodily needs and I – well, I will take care of providing you the necessary what, for the lack of a better word, is called “lubrication”!

You may ask, what about my old love of a decade?

Alas, she must go! You, and only you – can now occupy that special place in my heart!

Therefore, right under your watchful eyes I will take out her remains and consign them – no, not to flames, but to the junkyard.

Would that be callous of me?! Perhaps! But you are from a newer generation! You are young and you will understand why – you will understand that what must be done must be done!

Cold metal, cold hard metal – can never be burnt and frankly, I can no more summon the fire that is needed to melt it!

I wish you could have come to me sooner – I am so excited! But I was told that your 250 pounds body weight makes it difficult for you to come to me any other way except on the road – through ground shipping. But all that weight notwithstanding, you can run like a quiet cat even at speeds of 10 MPH, I am told!

Travel well, my darling! And see you in a few days!

Yours to be soon,
The Beej

PS: You better get here soon, they have already charged my Mastercard!