sleep and assessments

I was right about that band – cannot be intensely liked – they’re boy-band-Lost-Prohpets-kind-of-rock. Realized that when I heard this other single by them… It was following me in London this past winter. Stalking even. Would be on in every bloody place all the bloody time. By the end of the 2 (or was it 3..) weeks, I was singing along and hating myself. Now, I have it on bloody repeat. I’m ashamed to admit it – but yeah – my music standards have gone down a few million notches today. It’s temporary. *shrug* I’m just dazed and dozed today. And anything to kick the London feeling in would do. This is doing it. Plus, it has one phrase that made sense – so for that too – it gets a bit of that repeat mode.

I could sleep right now. I said that twice to a friend right now over the coffee we were having in our lunch break (lunch breaks are for coffee). They had really bad music playing there but I could have still dozed off. I'm sleepy. I’m back at my desk now and figuring out how to plan the power nap.

‘Power nap’.

Can’t believe I said that.

I don’t know what the fuck a power nap is. In fact, I’m pretty sure no such thing exists. How can you take a power nap? You sleep and you bloody wake up groggy. Grey cells are still screaming for more shut-eye because that quick ‘power nap’ thing just gave them a bit of a taste of what could be but wasn’t. Dude, I don’t know. I just need sleep. I have no idea why. The insomnia has decided to take a vacation today. I’m super spaced out and super sleepy. My mind refuses to focus on the campaign that we need to have ready by tomorrow. I need three lines. Just three frikking lines. But zero has formed in this sleep induced mind. Plus, mind keeps wandering to the places where it totally shouldn’t. No control.

This morning, I was sure it was going to rain. Met office said something about rain too – but then when did the local Met office ever get a forecast right. Bloody clouds. Keep deceiving you. Not like rain would be a good thing for this city right about now. Not that rain is ever a good thing for my car or my house. But still. If it looked like it was going to rain, it bloody well should have. But it didn’t. That, actually, means we should run out and do this whole painting-some-pipes thing that we need to do but no one’s worried about that assignment other than me. *sigh* I’m going to pretend like I’m not worried either. Wtf. Who gives a shit. I’m sleepy. I need sleep. This is crazy – I haven’t craved sleep like this for the longest time. Last time this happened – I was in a good place. Where it was two days of sleeping without worrying about the emails and the people and the time and the unanswered texts… I need to go back there. Just listening to this song won’t work. I need to be back there.

Not happening though. Unless…. It rains or something. (….no..that rain connection right there doesn’t make sense.. but.. I’m sleepy.. and more senseless than usual..)

Rain is a good thing. *nods head* I like rain. I just don’t like it here.

Rain reminds me… Spain won last night! Yay!

And it’s Round 4 at Wimbledon today. Federer is up against Hewitt in Centre Court. He’d better bloody kick some ass because really, we need to see him level things with Nadal in the final... Dammit. Should be there to watch this in the flesh. Could listen to my cheesy stupid boy-band-rock song as I watch the players get high on grass.. :)

Giggly idiot man (with his idiot twin) was in the same place for lunch today. They didn’t giggle today. They just grinned. Fuckwits. Need to hit them on their heads with two frying pans while saying, “Grow.The.Hell.Up.”

Is a bad thing to be weird and crazy? I didn’t know that. Hey, I didn’t even know that was me. People keep saying that but I just thought they were mad. But it seems, one of a similar kind thinks the same. Oh. *stops dead in dozing off and babbling mode* Hmm. So if you are identified as a bit crazy by another crazy person – I’m thinking that means – you are crazy.

Oh.

But how the hell is that a bad thing?

Oh whatever. Like that matters. Like I can change myself after all these decades have carved me into who I am. Can’t be done.

So the Assessment is on.

And I fucking hate it.

But I’m smiling as I go along. But, for the record, I hate being assessed.

Yeah. I’m sleepy. So. Whatever.

30/06/08; 3:36pm