Pink

She gazed at her melancholic reflection in the mirror. Today she was down and struggling with the recurring regret once again. What if she had consulted the doctor in time would he be still in her life? She thought.

Who was he? She wondered. He came into her life with her parents consent and left of his own free will at the time when she needed him the most. How at times a woman’s life is at the mercy of others.

It was one cold and dry November day when her life crumbled, shattered into countless pieces after the diagnoses. She knew life won’t be the same again. She won’t be complete anymore. But she had never imagined that he would take an extreme step of leaving her. Even his two little daughters couldn’t make him change his mind. She cried. Implored – was ready to compromise but in vain. She felt like a good that loses its value due to irreparable damage.

She fought the disease, survived but life had become a stagnant pool. Where she could only see the images from her past. Then someone introduced her to Da Khuwaindo Kor (The sisters’ home), an NGO to create awareness about that disease in rural and urban women. The counseling helped her change her thinking. She met with others like her; everyone had a different tale to tell.

Da Khuwaindo Kor had truly become her home where she would spend most of her free time. Once she told her counselor, “Have you ever imagined a sky without stars, the land without water or a tree without leaves? It would look totally barren, ugly and incomplete. That’s how I feel – incomplete, unattractive, and useless. All I am left with is scars and a piece of paper.�
The counselor listened patiently then replied, “Just because your husband dumped you, you think you have become useless and unattractive. True love is the one that stands the test of time. Everything else is either lust or selfishness. Elders say it is better to be alone than to be with a selfish person.�

Her arguments made sense. She was returning back to life. She got an offer of a job there that she accepted. But today she was down. He had sent her to her mother’s home after her diagnosis. She was naive, totally clueless that she won’t be able to step back into that house again that she called her home. He used to visit her regularly in the beginning then his visits started to abate. In their last telephonic conversation she asked him one thing, “Why?� He had no logical answer. He stuttered, “It’s tough for me… I can’t.� She hung up.

My life could best be described as a circle. She thought. Or is this city too small or we all use the same path everyday without realizing the presence of people we knew once? She looked at herself in the mirror. There was still life left in her. Her cheeks were pinkish as they used to be. But she was down as she studied herself in the mirror. All the questions, whys, ifs and buts have surfaced back. This afternoon she had seen him in the car laughing, talking, smiling with his new wife.