Darling kill them…kill them all.

"Darling tumhain hamaray pyar ki qasam kill each and every one of them, these buggers have changed my life into constant terror and every second of my time spent in the kitchen they constantly give me frights one after another. I hate them"



I think it is quite obvious by now that I am telling my husband to kill the goons present in my kitchen and the goons are none other then Cockroaches, It all started when I was five and my stupid but smart brother recognized my weakness of being terrified by roaches and since then I have this roach phobia. I hate cockroaches, the color the size the creepiness and the horror combine together to form perfect little phobia but accidental addition of an extra ingredient to the concoction "Quantity" thus the roachophobia was born using its ultra super powers to scare house wives and all the souls around them.



Ok Ok I am watching too much of power puff girls…..coming back to the topic…Roaches…or should I say a house wife's nightmare. Imagine a spotless kitchen with shiny tiles sparkling in the open until suddenly a drop of juice fells on the floor and u don’t notice and go away. A moment later you come back and several black creatures are surrounded by the tiny drop who I am sure is screaming "Save me Save me". And the next thing you do is to go near them to stomp them but the bloody buggers get away and hide in the places you cant get your hands on.



I classify roaches into three different categories

· Big ones with wings

· Big ones without wings

· Tiny twits



Starting from the worst types, "The big ones with wings," this is the only sort which my husband is also scared of, Ok he is not scared scared ,its just that when it appears from no where and surprises, trust me it’s a shock for him but for me its no less then a heart attack, and my screams are deafening and to regain my senses back it takes time. I mean come on yaar they are too big and they fly, it's like Jurassic Park, they can attack any time. This type of species are responsible for major cause of terror among women (excluding the brave ones)



So all you dudes out there who want to charm their chick, kill a flying roach for her and she will be all yours (the poor bastard had to be sacrificed for the sake of love) or kindly take your girlfriend to a clean place…



Ok jokes apart, where were we.. Oh yes, first type



Well, They are very hard to murder (easier then the third type) as when attacking with a slipper or bug spray .They fly away giving terror shocks to the going to be murderers, but on the other hand as they are big there whereabouts can easily be identified and if chapaal is no good bug sparay can do the work



Second type is "Big ones without wings" they are the most scary creatures in the world (less then first) and I am sure if they ever look at them selves in the mirror they will be scared to death. Wasay how cool will that be, I mean to kill cockroaches people will keep mirrors every where…..khair enough jokes already ,these types are good at scaring like the first kind, they exists in bathrooms and are usually responsible for waking up my husband in the middle of the night.. NO NO not by the appearance of roaches in the poor guy's dreams but from my screaming as I always use the loo late night, and consider when you are half in your sleep and after bumping into ten things before reaching the bathroom lights, and after turning them on, your eyes and voice are in full blossom. And there comes my knight in shining armor or my hero protecting me against the evil.



The last but not the least "Tiny Twits" or the little small ones whom Urstruly is not scared of .OK I am lying. I am scared of them but not to that extend from the above two. The above two can easily be murdered by one bang of slipper (no doubt the slipper will be all covered with roach goo) but these good for nothing twits are so fast that your slippers will get ruined but these buggers won't get squished easily.



This kind is mainly found in kitchen and to kill them is almost impossible, They increase very fast and since they are tiny creatures they can make their homes any where. Stomping, Squishing, Bug bomb, trust me nothing works unless you fumigate your house.



Why did God created cockroaches and even if he did why did he made them live in houses where people are scared of them, or if he was making our home their home, why didn’t he made them pretty. I mean why didn’t God made roaches look like butterflies. It would have been so cool. Then people would be happy to have them in their houses. Aur wasay bhe who would mind having colorful creatures in their home.