Nani

I grew up under the shadow of my nani. The setup was such that she had to live with us. She had no one and she wasn’t the kind woman to live alone. She needed people around to make their lives hell.

Today her words came to my mind. She used to say to us girls caustically when we would whine, 'hor kujh nai aae khusum mangdee ae.' She wants a husband. i used to hate this sentence too much. What’s wrong if someone (read that a woman) wants a man physically and emotionally. Does having such desire make her a whore? if she wouldn’t desire a man ----- should she desire a woman? That is equally unacceptable socially, morally and religiously.

I had bitter sweet relationship with her. i always thought she was a complex woman because she didn’t have understanding with nana due to age difference and he passed away when she was still very young with dependable kids.

She would often tell me to pray for her when she is no more. When she’d scold me for no mistake of mine ---- i would vow in my heart not to pray for her no matter what. We were young ---- she was old. The tussle between old and young is always lethal. Allah maa’f kare. i pray for you nani --- whenever you descend from the heavens above into my memory though i still hate that sentence of yours.