to mullah toofani

Your excellent highness, your rote supremacy, your ittar fragrancy, may your darDhee be kali, may your shalwar be higher than the takhna (but lower than the calf), may your topi remain put on your head during sajood, your humble royalty, if you please:

I have been following your unfortunate reprimands to me with dismay. If I have mimicked your style occasionally in posts to kuffar, it is only out of respect, and not with a desire to disrupt your mantle.

I have no ambition of becoming the humble master, as I happily remain the arrogant chaila.

Perhaps my chaila brain cannot comprehend the depth of that which you proclaim, but there are two proclamations of late that have perturbed me immensely. I numerate:

1. You have derided my lovingness to all humans as "lovey dovey stuff". Mullah ji, you could have branded me with a hot iron and would not have caused as much pain as you did by deriding the very essence of the Hurricane: his urge to love humanity. I am made of love, by love, for love. For love I live, and for love I die. I am hopeful that this is a misunderstanding on my arrogantly ignorant part. Please clarify.

2. You have expressed an admiration for Zia-ul-Haq. Everyone knows that this man was the enemy of love, a torturer, a raper of Pakistan, and an extremely misguided idiot of the first order. I am perplexed at your adoration of him. I am hopeful that this is a misunderstanding on my arrogantly ignorant part. Please clarify.

I had hope that with Mullah Toofani, Hurricane would have found the appropriate master, but with great sorrow and trepidation, I am beginning to wonder if this is true.

Your arrogant chaila,

Hurricane