“Incredible India!�

It was a very pleasant evening of late November that ten “adventurous Pakistanis�, all in their early youth, immensely impressed (read hallucinated) by the tourism adds of the second biggest demography of the world set sail for journey of a lifetime. Across the waters of the Arabian Sea they went, with almost non-existent police patrols or naval forces.

For “territorial boundaries� is an obsolete phenomenon in this age of “Global Village�. Being one of the top five most visited places on earth, “India is calling “everyone to be a part of the diversities of her cultures and traditions. Lured by the very display of such stuff on the “National Geographic�, these young men left Karachi on fishing trawlers. Hence saving both money and fuel in these times of economic turmoil, from being wasted on specially hired transportation (a remarkable evidence of their echo friendliness as well!).

Amazed to find “speed boats� on board, they preferred proceeding on these more conventional conveyances. Unfortunately though, they had to refuel the vehicle, so they went for the nearest strip of land possible to be reached. That in this case happened to be the famed state of Gujarat. The west of the country, marred with the recent history of Muslim genocide. The lads tried to curb any kind of negative feeling that aroused after the realization of the fact where they were.

One of them came up with the suggestion of abandoning the ship to make their way further into the north. “Where to Kashmir or South Tibet?�, someone asked. Raged by this lack of information, the former answered: “U fool, don’t you know that these are disputed areas, actually belonging to Pakistan and China respectively, we are touring India presently, understand?� “What about the splendid wonder of the world in Uttar Paradesh?� another interrupted.

“Did you say UP? Isn’t the Babri Mosque there as well?� the other exclaimed. “Is or was?� another was provoked. “Anyone interested in hunting Bengal Tigers? �, someone trying to change the mood of discussion questioned, while pointing towards the AK-47 guns - having just caught his sight on the deck. “Do you imply heading to Bengal, from where the Mukti Bahini was aided, resulting in the loss of our country’s eastern half?� a voice thundered.

“Lets settle this down quietly by traveling to the South, say Tamil Nado?� the former insisted. “Tigers, Tamil, hmmm…Don’t the Tamil Tigers responsible for ruthless killings in Sri Lanka get their support and training from here? Sounds fishy�, one concluded. “Come on! Who’s ready for a jungle safari? I know there are jungles in Orissa�, said another. “Are you out of your mind? It’s too dangerous… about 200 dead bodies dumped in the woods have been found lately, even the Pope has expressed outrage on the Christian ethnic cleansing there. Haven’t you been in touch with the news?� another exploded.

“Cross border crimes, racial intolerance, ethnic offences, abuse, discrimination, hatred, massacre, carnage… Where are we? Among xenophobes or barbarians?� at last they all were infuriated. “Wherever, all I know is that we have come this far and not leaving without having some fun!� one resolved. “Guys why not teach this Biggest Democracy a lesson?� by throwing the weapons to the rest, another made it clear that they really meant some business now. “Next stop, Maharashtra- Mumbai! No real Taj Mahal, so what? We can get amused at the Taj Hotel!� having said that, there was no looking back.

I wish all the above given details were also presented in “some part of the conspiracy has taken place in Pakistan� press conference by Rehman Malik. It surely had made easier to digest all the nonsense at least!

Awful Indian excuses of inadequate security system, lack of surveillance equipment and on top of that utter absence of radars at the coastal lines are not enough to raise some eyebrows. For we dwell today in the world of mentally deranged species, where Ajmal Amir, popularly entitled “Kasab� can challenge the whole structure of civilization and even Einstein’s intellectual faculties. Merely by creating havoc after breaking, along with a bunch of pals, into a country (also home to Shiv Sena, Bajrung Dal and Vishva Hindu Paradesh), boasting “military excellence and strength� at any given time.

How did ten suspicious people enter the domains of a terrain safeguarded by monstrous squads of official and unofficial watchdogs? Later how did they get ammunition? How they were able to roam about freely without getting anyone’s attention

(or were they using Harry Potter’s cloak)? How come they already knew the sites so well (as if it were their hometown they were wandering inside)? Could ten apparently normal fellows have plotted an ambush of this magnitude, without any assistance from the locals (or were they all “Rambos� to quote former Pakistani President Pervaiz Musharraf)? Finally, how did India escaped from being slammed and queried about such facts? Most probably as she always does!

Poor Pacifier Pakistan! All her tiring and selfless efforts to prove Indian innocence on the above-discussed matters (the fresh manifestation of which was the press conference) have not met with any kind of appreciation. As usual on the contrary she is being dubbed “acting out of compulsion not conviction�, to quote an ex Indian diplomat. All of her sacrifices rendered in the long process of The War Against Terrorism are blown away by a single statement or action of prestigious foreign dignitaries.

As a list of serious steps taken by India in this regard includes tremendous hike in defence budget apart from the eager demand from Pakistan “to drain the swamps of Islamist terrorists.� The whole situation reminds me of the American poet Stephen Crane, in his words, “The stars are displaced By this towering wisdom�. I envy the historical tendency of our genius neighbor - namely walking away with violations of every kind. Though unlike many, I do fancy and admire it a lot! Hats off to the Incredible India!

Aisha Subhani