The ring… this time, not someone elses’ but mine!

Who wants the goddamned security, the excess baggage of babysitting a grownup baby, the anniversaries, the date-remembering(s) and forgetting(s), the tantrums, the crazy long nights, the heartbreaks and emotional stress. Just get me a ring. YES! A ring only!

Now look at this, its not my fault. I have been forced into believing a woman is ONLY happy when she has The Ring. All the happiness is connected to it. The man, the marriage, the children, the family, the home and the grandchildren. My mum used to look at shops when I was a junior high tween, gleefully telling me some day some guy will be on his knee asking me for my hand. Some day someone would be ready to scrap his knee cap for me? And maybe not run away before my big day. But no thanks, JUST get me the ring.

I see satisfied women all around me. Going about hugging and congratulating each other. And their karats smiling back at me. I hear the long chats, the low giggling, the irritating gossip about “oh what’s the next plan then?” And yes, the twirling of the ring around their fingers too.

Poor men, most of them think women look for their special someone’s, waiting for eons for them to arrive for them. And yeah, rescue them. But no actually, it’s a bit more twisted than this. They wait for their special something . Yep seriously, so now get over it. Don’t go about looking for the best e-card or poem or song dedication, simply get out your credit card and fill in for that glistening large scintillatingly jaw dropping stone. No, please don’t look for loopholes and get your girl an aquamarine or some pink, yellow, brown stone stuck at the ring. Remember, diamonds are a girl’s best friend. Wish they were boyfriends too. so just get me it, will ya?

If you are shaking your head in disbelieve, then, believe it man! This all above was the voice of a typical Venusian. The elusive, smirking, intense look in their eyes on any man like me may mesmerize us into thinking maybe… just maybe, they like us. But if you want to know what they think, just listen to the above rant. And you’ll know.

AND then men like me won’t be going through a tough luck phase. And yes, I am that goddamned security, that excess baggage of emotional stress, the tantrum maker amidst a long crazy night. And yes, I have made the mistake of thinking women are more than just diamond diggers. Yes yes, I am a loner now. Laugh your ass off.