Party symbols for elections

Due to the increasing need of identifying political parties from each other in these confusing times, kaka is solemnly requesting that political parties be reassigned the following intikhaabi nishaan. This is so that supporters can wave these symbols freely at their leaders and imprint the election symbols on the minds of the onlookers. It is a widely accepted science that election symbols bring passion and excitement to jalsa juloos.

MQM: A revolver which symbolizes the revolving spin in Altaf Hussain's head is apt. Needless to say, Altaf Hussain should also be issued a visa to Pakistan so that he can campaign amidst a sea of supporters waving the party symbols at him.

JI: A machete or a sword would signify the eternal link between this party and Saudi Arabia which finances it, since the Saudi flag is also imprinted with a sword. More importantly, real swords in a party procession will inspire the days of jihad and possible proximity to Allah so well advertised in the party manifesto.

JUI: In a paThan tradition only upgradable by rocket launchers, ordinary JUI supporters should be able to fire rocket launchers at the end of each speech by party leaders to show approval (or whatever the opposite of approval is these days). This election symbol will save JUI money spent on furnishing irrelevant, meaningless election symbols such as a telephone (WTF??). Since JUI already has a ton of rocket launchers.., showcasing them during electioneering is only appropriate. This would also be a call for all on-the-fence psychos who privately collect rocket launchers to FINALLY choose a party akin to their own tastes.

Imran Khan party (actual name of the party irrelevant): Supporters should carry cricket bats although cricket balls should be more appropriate since Imran was primarily a bowler. Supporters can cheer on by using their bats or even balls if they are too far away from Imran. Running start and sharp shooting would not be allowed. Imran does not deserve it.. yet.

PPP: The arrow/teer is so last century. Imagine a sea of Bhutto admirers chanting slogans and waving around a hanging rope like a lassoo! It will be a dream come true for a lot of Bhutto fanatics who have mixed feelings about Zardari. Heck, even non-PPP people will come out in droves just so that they can handle the hanging rope symbol around Zardari.

PML(N): Nawaz Shareef's lasting legacy can only be brought back with the symbol of gavel or just the ol' fashioned hathoRa. Every time Nawaz Sharif is sliding into boring, effete speech patterns, the supporters can bang their gavels to remind him of his darkest days when he tried to overrun the judiciary. Other well meaning sympathezirs can also get closer and gavel his shiny head for extra emphasis.

Musharraf Party: This party can only be symbolized by a DanDa (a dildo was a close second).. and it better not be confounded with any English translation. Supporters of Musharraf carrying DanDas as election symbols is not only poetic but it also encapsulates Musharraf's manifesto in an easy to understand language. The uses of DanDa in an election procession are varied but can best be showcased by someone to the back and.. ever so slightly to the left.. of Musharraf.. cos that's how he truly likes it. Or even if he does not.. guess we will find out, won't we?