dude, where's my road?

Damn these ‘realizations’. Today, while cussing out a client and saying stuff like, “This woman always has a pole up her ass!” I realized (realization #1) that shit, most women do. Oh shit. I’m a woman too (realization #2). Does that mean I have a pole up my ass too (realization #3)? Can’t go easy on myself. Just wouldn’t be fair now would it? Nope. I realized the mandatory-ness of fairness so I added, “And yes, I have one too but I’m pretty frikking sure hers is longer.” There were sounds like ‘eeuuww’ that came from the various cubicles around the office when I said that. *shrug* But hey, it’s probably true. I mean, most clients can’t be calling me a ‘bitch’ for nothing. I’d love to stand up and declare, “The world is full of shit and these people just don’t know what they’re talking about!” but really, in an attempt to be lucid, I can’t say that. I must be one hell of a nasty person.

Shite.

That’s kind of sad and stuff. I mean, I smile at people even! And I smile just to be pleasant even! Like, I don’t need a proper reason to smile (like a bad joke and you smile just to be polite..) – I smile at strangers and I’m pretty sure they think I’m insane. Some asylum escapee at the very least. Great, throw in bitch and I’m then some solid patient who should be on Clozapine.

How kewl. Not.

I haven’t had enough coffee today. And the way things are going, I won’t get round to having the necessary caffeine intake. Hence, I’ll be weirdly wired. There will be this unusual calmness to my frenzy; there will be an underlying panic tone in every sentence I utter instead of full-blown hysteria. In fact, I just may pull off the not-really-a-bitch act only because *sigh* without enough coffee I am never myself.

Only thing that works on such days is Underworld. Trainspotting wouldn’t have been the same without Born Slippy. Or wait, actually, maybe it would have. I think I’m going to watch it for the millionth time tonight if I get home alive enough and if there’s electricity. The generator is moody these days – generally leaves us high and dry. Tch. Really pisses the cats off. Then they come and take it all out on me. Ni-iiice.

Has anyone in Karachi noticed this massive movement to make rain drains? I’m amazed. They’re digging up the streets, pulling out the weakly tarred roads and putting these horizontal cement slabs (with openings for ‘drainage’). They expect us to drive over those instead of the road itself. The cement slabs are the new road. Surely they can’t be serious? I mean, sorry for being a soul of almost no faith but do they expect me to believe that when 16-wheelers drive over that – all of us won’t fall right into the drain as these slabs cave? They will cave. I have complete faith in that. I have a newly constructed flyover crashing as evidence. So yeah, these slabs, they’re going to swallow us one of these days. Just thought you should know, keep some swimwear handy in your car.

And on that utterly useless note, I’m going to go and do something about these low caffeine levels..

Toodles.

21/05/08; 4:55pm