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Internally Displaced In The War On Terror..

Posted: Mar 20, 2009 Fri 11:02 pm     Views: 230    Interacts: 4

Our house, the mixture of
mud and stones,
was feeble, yet it homed
our aspirations
in all the moods of life;
when the sun smiled,
or the clouds roared,
or the sky wept
or the winds howled.

It didn't crumble
with natural blows
but the man-made woes,
in the shape of shells
of metal and mortar
pierced its body.
Collapsed,it could
shield us no more

Survival took us by the hand
to a refugee camp and we
were stamped as I.D.P's.

Our dreams, inhumed in
our rubbled home, scream
to call us back; they cry
when we beg for the bits of life.

We cannot wait to redeem
ourselves by helping our home
to stand on its feet.
We pray for the beast of
violence to retreat.
An era of peace could only
make our home complete,
where we could evolve
our dreams for our
coming generations.


+ add to my favorite ilogs + flag objectionable content


Latest comments
Posted by leenah on Friday May 22, 2009 10:29 am
Poetic or not, Vision it is!
Though unfortunately, it remains so true a depiction of the tragedy!

It is beautiful Aadil! The anguish and distress vibrating in the echo of the sobs contained in these stanzas, speaks louder than the speeches we are listening on tv exactly 2 months after!

Posted by Optimistic_Aadil on Monday March 23, 2009 11:24 pm
Correction *Hope its not that INappropriate!* ..
Posted by Optimistic_Aadil on Monday March 23, 2009 11:23 pm
@ quin .. Sir, I'm glad for your critical view of the poem. I, in fact always expect such sorts of positive feedback from the worthy readers of my blog especially your kind self. I've altered the poem in light of your kind suggestion but have retained the last stanza aiming at making it a continuation of the second last one. Hope its not that appropriate.

Thank you! :)
Posted by quin on Saturday March 21, 2009 03:44 pm
Aadil, it is so great to see you writing about the tragedies unfolding around us. You have that poetic vision and passion which can handle such difficult topics. For this poem I have a couple of humble suggestions.

The second stanza - how about:

It didn't crumbled
with natural blows
but the man-made woes,
in the shape of shells
of metal and mortar
that over it fell
it could shield us no more


The last stanza maybe taken out as the thought is already complete or implied by the second last one.

Of course it is your discretion. Mine is just a personal opinion and honest feedback for mutual learning.



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