The audacity and dope - the latest in Shoaibisms

If there ever was a famous person who would sell his mom, pop, dog, ducks, donkey and 6 children to hog limelight, headlines, television airtime and what not, he could not have done it better than our very own Shoaib Akhtar (or is he looking for an Indian citizenship like the formerly rolly polly Adnan Sami).

According to cricinfo, Shoaib Akhtar auctioned his shiny golden Kolkata Knight Riders helmet and announced that he will give the proceeds to charity. Let me quote what he said, “I think I will donate the money to Mother Teresa or something like that.” In another news item he said that he wanted to visit Mother Teresa's house for quite some time but tight schedule had prevented him from coming. Honestly, I am at a loss at his audacity – the man has hardly played any cricket in the past two years, yet he cites his grueling schedule a reason for not visiting the home? He need not to give any reason at all. What was he busy with, begging third rate Bollywood producers for work, getting high on Nandrolone and testing positive for dope, beating his team mate with bat who later turned out to be extremely small time (0.024 grams to be precise) drug trafficker, sucking up to Shahrukh Khan so that he can be part of his IPL team or staying in inebriated state of abandon in whatever part of the world he happen to be?

As if this was not enough, Akhtar sahib boasted some more and said that if opportunity came, he would devote his time to the orphans, and obviously needed help from the Indian government as well as Bollywood star Shahrukh Khan. Would somebody please tell him that we too have orphanages in Pakistan where he would not need any help from the Indian government or Shahrukh Khan to work for the poor and destitute? I guess it would not make as big a splash in Pakistan as it had done in India.

As if this was not enough, he is seriously exploring the legal options of adopting an Indian child, or so Indian media reports. Apparently he is planning to adopt a child from Mother Theresa’s Missionaries of Charity. He is quoted by Indian media saying this: “My religion prescribes that I should do some charity if I have the disposable income and can afford it. I think adoption is the best way to give something back to society. I seriously want to be a single parent and a responsible father.” One of his close friends disclosed that Shoaib has no fixed preference as regards the sex of the child. Now this is a first for me, I never knew that becoming a single parent can actually contribute positively to the society. I also would like to know if a judge is crazy enough to let a man with history of violence and substance abuse adopt a child.

Like the original play boy of Pakistani cricket Imran Khan, Akhtar is also contemplating starting a hospital. He has sought land from the Pakistan government to build a hospital for skin diseases in Rawalpindi. Now, is there a particular/peculiar reason for building a hospital for skin diseases or is it something he just like to be associated with?