Unfaithfully Yours

Re: # 157
why did we not receive your letter?

Re: # 155

Dear Abeer...Fatima,

Thanks for sharing your thoughts. All the research that i came across was based on those

studies in which men were more unfaithful than women. Although some studies show

married women are catching up to married men. I believe the institution of marriage is

gradually losing its meaning and significance and more and more men and women are

exploring alternative lifestyles. At the end of the day we all have to face the consequences

of our choices. sincerely sohail

Re: # 144
Alongwith
http://health.ivillage.com/sexualhealth/0,,wbnews_8nt13gk7,00.html

could you also do some research and shed light on this?

http://magazines.ivillage.com/cosmopolitan/men/menu/articles/0,,426370_525871,00.html

Here`s what it says:



``Girls May Cheat More Than Men


According to a Cosmo poll, women are the ones getting extra action.
Can you honestly say you`ve never smooched a random Romeo even when you had a sweet boyfriend?
Cosmo conducted an
advertisement


online poll of 1,000 single men and 1,000 single women, and 55 percent of guys and a shocking 59 percent of ladies said they have cheated on a partner. We asked relationship therapist Bonnie Eaker Weil, Ph.D., author of Make Up, Don`t Break Up, to explain why women are more apt to wander.


We Get Off on the Rush
Women crave the endorphin high from the initial attraction they feel toward a new guy.

We Want Attention
Girls may cheat because they feel taken for granted. A new lover gives them the TLC that their beau doesn`t.

We Feel Pressured
When women stress (especially over their guy), they may seek out another stud to lean on as a distraction. ``

dear freethinker -- ah Kaifi Azmi -- kaheeN tub ja kay hota hai chaman meiN deedawar paida -- unsay apni purani jan pahchan thee -- ``re saathi jagaa Hindustan``-- around late forty early 50`s -- what an unassuming gentle personality -- with a dry sense of humor -- also very encouraging to young poets....

...in 80`s we invited Kaifi sahib to US for a US tour -- in one of the Mushairas one of our overenthusiastic MC`s introduced him like this:

.......``besides all the laurels that Kafi sahibs has recieved for his life time of achievements you would be very happy to know that Kaifi Sahib also wrote the songs of that great movie Mughal-e Azam.``

Kaifi sahib very politely interjected and said: `` saameen huzraat -- Naseem sahib kee izzat afzaiee ka shukriya -- muggar maaf kijiye gaa, mujhay apni jaan thoree aziz thee -- meiN nay Mughal-e Azam ke Gaanay likhkhnay kee jurrut naheeN kee -- keonkay agar maiN likhtaa to yaQeenan Shahi Haathee say kuchulwa diya jaataa......

Dear nasah and drsohail:

Here is another good one:

ya dil ki suno duniya vaaloun
ya mujhako abhi chup rahane do
main gham ko khushi kaise keh doon
jo kehate hain unko kehne do

ye phool chaman me kaisa khilaa
maali ki nazar me pyaar nahin
hanste hue kya kya dekh liya
ab behate hain aansoo behane do

ek khwaab khushi kaa dekha nahin
dekha jo kabhi to bhool gaye
maanaa hum tumhein kuchh de na sakein
jo tumne diya vo sehane do

kya dard kisi ka legaa koi
itna to kisi mein dard nahin
behate hue aansoon aur bahein
ab aisi tasalli rehane do

ya dil ki suno duniya vaaloun
ya mujhko abhi chup rehane do

(Kaifi Azmi)

With complements of Farzana Versey. Read and enjoy.

Mohammad Gill

Dr. Sohail sahib and Dr. Gill Sahib -- sorry being a little late -- had to go off chowk for some fresh air.......

Beside a solid professional -- sohail sahib is also a solid fil-badeeh Shair -- how great -- welcome to Chowk -- and please stay around -- don`t go away -- and many thanks to Gill Sahib for bringing a gem like you on Chowk -- both of you sound very familiar like some of my friends of yore.....yeh alag baat ke tujh ko kabhi dekha bhi nahin …..

``jahan bhi dosti ki rooh ho ham jaan laitay hain
mohabbat ki jahan khushboo ho ham pehchaan laitay hain``

beautiful verse........now I am not so sure about Chowk being a place where you will find a whole lot of mohabbat ki khushbu or Dosti ki rooh …….but never mind still a great place to be…..:)

Re: # 150

Wah, Kisi Cyber relationship kay maray aashiq ki daastan lagtee hai.

haha

Good one.

Re: # 149

Dear Mohammad Gill...I have not kwritten a ghazal in a few months...so feeling rusty

poetically but your wish is my command. do sheyr hazir hain....aap kay naam

mohammad gill kay naam

tairay afkaar ka dildada hoon main bhi laikin

tujh say kab hogi mulaqaat ye socha bhi nahin

go baray piar say khwabon main kai baar milay

ye alag baat key tujh ko kabhi dekha bhi nahin

aap ka maddah

khalid sohail

drsohail:
Thanks; it`s a beautiful verse. Compose something in the qaafiah-radeef of ``aur hum bhool gaein ho`n tujhe aissa bhi naheen.`` nasah, we`ve found a poet-professional in the person of Dr. Sohail. With regards,
Mohammad Gill

Re: # 147

dear mohammad gill....firaq`s ghazal inspired me to compose a couplet in his radeef qafiah

aap kay aur nasah kay liay hazir hay

jahan bhi dosti ki rooh ho ham jaan laitay hain

mohabbat ki jahan khushboo ho ham pehchaan laitay hain

aap ka darvesh shair

khalid sohail

Dear nasah:

At the risk of overdoing it, I reproduce hereunder Firaq`s ghazal to which you had alluded in your post but I inadvertently skipped.

Ghazal

Bahut pahale se un qadamo.n kii aahaaT jaan lete hai.n
Tujhe ai zi.ndagii ham duur se pahachaan lete hai.n

Merii nazare.n bhii aise qaatilo.n kaa jaan-o-imaa.N hai
Nigaahe.n milate hii jo jaan aur imaan lete hai.n

Tabiyat apanii ghabaraatii hai jab sun-saan raato.n me.n
Ham aise me.n terii yaado.n kii chaadar taan lete hai.n

Khud apanaa faisalaa bhii ishq me.n kafii nahii.n hotaa
Usey bhii kaise kar guzare.n jo dil me.n Thaan lete hai.n

Jisey suurat bataate hai.n pataa detii hai siirat kaa
Ibaarat dekh kar jis tarahaa maanii jaan lete hai.n

Tujhe ghaaTaa na hone de.nge kaarobaar-e-ulfat me.n
Ham apane sar teraa ai dost har ehasaan lete hai.n

Hamaarii har nazar tujhase nayii sauga.ndh khaatii hai
To terii har nazar se ham nayaa paiGaam lete hai.n

`Firaq` aksar badal kar bhes milataa hai ko_ii qaafir
Kabhii ham jaan lete hai.n kabhii pahachaan lete hai.n

Mohammad Gill

Re: # 145
Dear nasah

What a coincidence? I was reading your poetic dialogue on gill`s article and then I came

to my article and saw your affectionate note. gill was the one who encouraged me to

contribute to chowk as a psychotherapist.

ghalib nadeem-e-dost say aati hay boo-e-dost

i never met gill but have great respect for him.

since you like poetry i can share some of my own couplets with you. i hope you like them

kia tum nay kabhi apna muqaddar nahin dekha
har ghar je jo basta hay yahan dar nahin dekha

aaeena har ik kamray ka hairaa..n ha kay kuunkar
jis shaks nay dekha usay mur kar nahi dekha

is darja rewaayaat ki deewarain uthain
naslon say kisi shaks nay bahar nahi dekha

raaton ki to kia baat hay is shehr main khalid
barson say kabhi din bhi munawar nahin dekha

sincerely khalid sohail

Dr. Sohail sahib -- what a great professional like you doing in a place like this -- reminds me of Khumar Barabankvi`s couplet :

hashr kaa din abhii hai duur Khumar
aap kyoN zaahidoN meiN jaa baithay

very insightful top notch clinical piece -- thank you FV -- and of course thank you Dr. Sohail -- please continue to contribute -- you have a very lucid analytical style......

Re: # 89

Dear Burpinder...I am glad you acknowledged my dilemma, in your unique humorous

way. I am new to chowk. So I am not familiar with the tradition of dialogue on this forum.

I am gradually realizing that most of you know each other from other discussions and know

your likes and dislikes and tastes in politics. I was amused too how discussion on infidelity

went to Gandhi and Jinnah to Indian and Pakistani politics.

It seesm as if many readers are concerned about my sharing the story of my patient. They

feel it is either unethical or illegal. I explained before and I will do it one more time that

the interview was approved by my patient and he read the article on chowk and was

amused by some of the comments.

Since you people do not know me you are not aware that for the last twenty years I have

been writing as a psychotherapist and give lectures and workshops and seminars and

present not only my books but also documentaries on mental health. My patients volunteer

their stories on my website www.greenzoneliving.ca and for my books and documentaries.

They feel proud that they are a part of mental health education. They know that they were

lucky to recieve treatment and want others who are suffering with depression, anxiety

disorders, schizophrenia to receive pyshiatric and psychological help. My main concern

is to bring mental health awareness. It is sad that many human beings are suffering while

help is availavble. I am also aware that mental health problems not only affect individuala

they also affect families and communities. In Toronto we are trying to translate mental

health literature in Urdu so that it is accessible to patients and families. Immigrant families

in North America who have serious mental health problems are increasing but many still go

to holy shrines and use ganda taweez rather than seeing professionals. It is all part of

helping my community. I am hoping that serious discussions on mental health on chowk

might be of some help to some people.

Dear Burpinder...I am in the Green Zone. I hope you are too and all the other readers as

well. smiles... I just wanted to reassure readers who are concerned about the privacy of

my patients.They are voluntarily participating in that mental health awareness initiative.

sincerely sohail

Dear Wasif,

So all that autobiographical knowledge to get me to write your biography.

I am not interested. I know that you are a Lahori because you once spoke against Kardesh (salim bhai`s earlier avtar) when he was making fun of Lahore and the now famous ``Dunkin Donuts`` incident.