Internet Relationships – Blessing or Curse?

well article is gud and i personally think tht for a young girl or a young boy internet must be very fasinating especially chatting parts on d/f sites & at the end such ppl get nothing except broken hearts bcoz this world is more imaginary & fantasy then reality..thts y ppl who r sincere _ clean hearted mostly become victim of dis trauma.
i do think tht ppl who r living away 4m their homes mostly use internet as a " time pass" sort of a tool & due to lack of guts they use this tool to remove their frustration...huh

Re: # 1

Masadi you said
``On the contrary there is much doubt about any beneficial ``revolution”-taking place. The internet fits into the same tradition of making all human relationships superficial and ``touch and go``, put into place by industrial capitalism, similar to the TV that played its role in breaking up community, fire side tales and social tradition. All steps towards the dumbing down of the human race as detailed prose is replaced by short memos or one liners and smilies, while the onslaught of corporate culture colonizes social tradition. Much more effort and as a result, sincerity and concern, went into the snail mail letter writing than goes into emails, the letter as such has lost its literary value. ``

I think you underestimate the quality of some of the engaging of minds that goes on over the internet. How else could debates such as the ones on this site be readily conducted. I have read much well argued and insightful debate in the articles here.

We should treasure such a resource for it has given the peoples of this world the gift of being able to speak to each other like the members of a village. Sure there is much trash and rubbish on the internet. It is like television with a million stations - its just as difficult getting away from the adverts! People engage in all sorts of relationships on the internet - one could say that for everyway of interacting in real life there is almost certainly some internet analogue. The problem I suppose comes when people invest so much in their virtual lives that they neglect their real lives. I dont know about you, but my desire for knowledge and good debate has been fed by the internet - and it cant be bad if there are many people using it the same way.

Re: # 15
I found internet interesting but mostly people in the internet do not have a orignal face they tend to hide behind different masks I do not blame them but its very troubling sometimes.

i believe internet interaction allows for many a shy person (in real life) to open up to a more relaxed communication and hence improve his confidence in speaking out even in the real life.

but there r always those who wud argue that the covering he has in an internet comunication is not available in real life and hence he will feel more insecure to talk in real and will eventually lose any chance he had of improving his ccommunication skills.

dont know who`s right here, i guess it wud be a per case scenario more than a general one.

Re: # 20

Dear Ozchick....thank you for your comments. Psychotherapists all over the world are

assessing the role of internet psychotherapy...its benefits as well as pitfalls. With time and

experience we will learn more.

I want to make a confession to all readers and interacters. I was away in Cuba for 10 days

When I came back I got a pleasant surprise to see my article on chowk. So i want to thank

the readers and apologize to interacters for not being there before.

I also realized that I did not submit the article as Dr. Khalid Sohail so it is not connected

with my other articles and website www.greenzoneliving.ca

. sincerely sohail

Well done on your article. I am a psychologist and believe internet counselling is not the way to go. However, internet counselling may be useful for people living in remote areas who cannot get access to a mental health professional or to people living in a very small community where everyone knows everyone elses business, thus a need for anonymity.

Khalid_ahmad

You need to contact a mental health professional immediately. As i have mentioned to you previously, you need to talk to a professional. You get extremely defensive at anothers opinion and to say the least, your opinions are racist and filthy. Such anger is not healthy. As i said earlier, i don`t know what has happened to make you the way you are. Is it continual reinforcement as a child or did you experience some traumatic event? Whatever the case, we both know (and i am sure everyone who has read your postings) that you have some mental issues you need to address. Some people see psychologists for a chat so do not be afraid. A few sessions may be all you require. Take the time and help yourself.

Instead of discussing futile things like hymens and dates, do something to save the world. Like signing this petition. Islamic fundamentalism epidemic has killed far too many people and gone on for a few centuries too many without decent humans doing something about it. Now is your chance. The next step will be for the UN to push all Islamic countries to legistlate these into their respective constitutions, or face sanctions.


MUSLIM MANIFESTO: Like men, women should have the right to decide how they will live, dress, travel, marry and divorce; if they do not enjoy these rights, they are clearly second-class citizens.

MUSLIM MANIFESTO: All critiques of Islam should be countered not by threats and violence, but by rational counter-argument

MUSLIM MANIFESTO: We strongly denounce anti-Semitism. We accept Israel`s right to exist.

MUSLIM MANIFESTO: We accept the legitimacy of the secular state and the secular law. Islamic law, or sharia, was developed at a time when Muslims were living in homogenous communities. In the modern world, virtually all societies are pluralistic, consisting of different faiths and of different perceptions of each faith, including Islam. In this pluralistic setting, a legal system based on a particular version of a single religion cannot be imposed on all citizens.

MUSLIM MANIFESTO: We support and cherish democracy — not because we reject the sovereignty of the Almighty over people, but because we believe that this sovereignty is manifested in the general will of people in a democratic and pluralistic society. We do not accept theocratic rule

MUSLIM MANIFESTO: we cherish religious liberty. Every human has the right to believe or not to believe in Islam or in any other religion All Muslims furthermore have the right to reject and change their religion if desired

Read the complete manifesto and sign the petition here:
http://www.nationalreview.com/comment/akyol_baran200603010816.asp

Re: # 14

should read ``long distance relationship``.

Re: # 9-[Not everyone who is on the internet is a liar or a cheat.]

once in an internet cafe..where i was a regular..was checking out and the attendant asked me to check in one cabin where the user was experiencing one problem..

it happened to be the person who was running a restaurant..(of course not a Ph.D)..and totally illiterate..and i was not even aghast to see his window screen which had 9 window media players running with different porno stuff and that got stuck.and y wouldn`t it..even the computer was bz in hatha pai (it seemed)..

a man with no formal education..and running a computer..what would u call this..Internet Revolution..??

P.S- i had to restart the computer anyway..poor fella..had to lose everything the half way...

khalid sahib
It looks like you enjoy your full life of internet mysterious world. Good, carry on. Since, the invention of this internet world. We have three world, one is the real one, second is the under ground mafia world and third is this mysterious internet world, where people like you love to spend their lives for the rest of their lives. They spend their time typing key board till fingers start bleeding.......................................................................................

I am going to hide myself from this world soon.............................

Your topic is interesting and kind of relevant as well. I find it real weird when people spend hours on chat groups and emails vs. picking up the phone and talking to each other to either strengthen a friendly bond or get a romantic pang or experience a disconnect.

For a working professional, the internet dating route is kind of ridiculous. At work, when a person spends a good chunk of time in developing business documents, then he or she is kind of married to the internet to begin with. There is less motivation to go back on the internet typing away romantic stuff and looking forward to be diagnosed with a carpel tunnel syndrome. Staying connected has a different expectation level. When it comes to dating, one has to meet the chosen birdie either face to face or talk over the phone, otherwise it`s a waste of time at the expense of your health (emotional, physical and mental).

Internet can be used as a powerful networking tool. And networking also results in bonding and building relationships based on common features - areas of interest, profession, thought process and various other criteria. You are connected to the whole world. But I am not sure getting emotionally connected in a long distance is a good idea. In my opinion, it is a recipe for disaster but then there are exceptions.

Although your focus is ``internet relationships``, still I feel that any relationship can either be a blessing or a curse. Internet relationships are no exception. We can change the curse to a blessing or turn the tables around. The power lies within.

I just wanted to add a little bit to your very informative article. Thankyou for bringing this topic to the forefront.
Internet is another medium of communication but the only difference is we dont know who and what is on the other end of the computer screen. We protect ourselves against strangers and dont open our doors if we dont know. On the other hand we rarely protect ourselves from the strangers we willingly invite in our homes thorugh the fantastic medium of internet.
Internet relations can be beneficial in the respect that you can reach a much wider audience but in the same breath it can be dangerous if we are not careful. There are certain do`s and dont`s of internet dating.
1. Never tell the other person your real name and phone number. You will be surprised how easy it is to fill in the blanks.
2. Always be on your guard. Always ask pertinent questions.
3. Dont be afraid to question the other person.
4. Never send your pic. You dont know where your pic may end up.
5. Dont brag unless you want the other person to brag and lie too.
6. Make sure you know what your motive is for internet dating.
7. You can gauge the intentions of the other person by his/her bahavior. Some kind of decorum must be maintained while chatting with the other person.

It is important to realise that internet is not a magical port of unheard magical destinations rather a journey which begins and ends with the communication of two people. Who these two people are is up to you to guess.

Since Dr Khalid Sohail is a practicing psychotherapist, I expected his article to have a little more polished professional approach towards the subject.

I think the writer has done a flimsy job of mixing human psychology with a wonderful modren technology. Internet chat or email is one of the numerous applications of Internet.

Extra marital or freindly relations developed by communicating through phone are no different than one developed through Internet. Internet is only a vehicle, rather a set of standards, for the Intercommunication of computers.

Perhaps the Dr wanted to write about the explosion of friendships and personal realtions after the open availability of Internet communications to all and sundry. In a closed society where opposite sex have little chance to meet and flirt excpet through clandestine methods, it did precipitate a boom.

The cause of social problems from relationships developed throgh widely available Internet is not the INTERNET. The Dr would have done a better job, if he had pointed to readers the real causes , symptoms and cures of the problems he narrated in his writing.

Please do not Blame Internet for the deficiencies of your culture or tomorrow some MMA like zealist will ban its use completely (The Internet Cafe have already been forced to close by Vigil Ante Mullahs in many NWFP areas).

``Doctor`` Sohail,

Please shift your stuff to unplugged. We there are in dire need of your advice.

Kyon Bhai Khamkhwa saab=dr sohail,
Tussey Kaddon tau daaktar ho gye.

Chowk pe Laundia baaje band kar....