A Teacup in My Hand

Re#69

Thanks for your comments, and appreciation.

Islam allows polygamy, it is a fact no one can dispute. But, `a man marrying twice is not that bad` is something, I think, that the person on the receiving end, i.e. the woman, would be a better judge of. A man may disagree; it is his prerogative

This story has projected a woman`s viewpoint. There`s no conflict over the concept of polygamy here, but if a woman decides to opt out of such an arrangement and move on with her life, there`s no compulsion on her to stay on and endure it.

good piece !!
nice way of creating scenes ,through time.
to add few things ...........
i wonder why chowk admin promotes anti -islamic concepts.
no offense to anyone in particular, but man marrying twice is not that bad,as it is advertised time to time,by those who are agonist to the idea.(good or bad!!not discussing)
if it`s a matter of having different point point of views, then why we havn`t seen a single article in favor of the point.?
Since it is in accordance to islam, then i guess ,no muslim should have any conflict over the issue, and non-muslims,i believe ,would respect the teaching of other religion .!

Re #18,32,44,56,66

I don’t know if I am missing something here, but you seem to dislike this short story because YOU want to see it ending in a different way!

You have repeatedly mentioned phrases like ‘What I would have liked to see’ and ‘What the writer should not have done’. Well I think this is the prerogative of the writer to portray a character in whatever manner she wants. SHE has written this story. There are all sorts of people in our society – some women in Pakistan are emancipated as you mentioned but a great majority is not. If the writer chooses to write about them it is her choice. In fact the character of Sonya is the epitome of emancipation. The word emancipation means ‘to be free from the control of another’ and that is exactly what she achieves in the story. And believe me, in the real world freedom always comes with a hefty price tag. It is never for free.

Writing about a wrong does not perpetuate that wrong. On the contrary it creates awareness about that wrong and is always the first step toward its rectification. I do not understand how you get this idea that this story is in any way a “low self esteem ‘realistic’ stuff that deprives women of their basic rights”. To me it seems that this story actually should give a lot of courage to women in a society like ours. It shows them possibilities and alternatives to some very difficult situations in life.

And finally, this is a fictional story not a code of law! Literature or for that matter art in any form is not necessarily about an ideal life. That would be escapism. In fact literature need not necessarily be even realistic for it to be enjoyable (hence the word fiction!); although this story does have many features which are a daily occurrence in our part of the world.

So please for a change, stop this litany of ‘how YOU would have wanted the story to continue and end’ and say something about the literary merits and demerits of the story.

Re: # 65

Elusive - I appreciate your insightful post, but I beg to differ with you on the sorry state of affairs. I have come across some very bold and brave women who have gone through major changes in life and have still kept on going despite all the emotional fiascos, heartbreaks and divorces. I do not think people enjoy that experience, but that`s life. Yes, the women were well-educated professionals and had more options than a woman who is not.

I am not saying that we should ignore the uneduated women, but I did not read this fictional work geared towards uneducated women. Did the writer mention anywhere that Sonya came from such background ? I may have missed that. I really found the right of divorce subject interesting as that creates awareness. There are not that many write-ups on Chowk where this is mentioned. Hats off to Tahera for raising the awareness on the said right!

In my opinion, this right is granted to women in educated and enlightened families who care for their daughters` well being and are not superstitious or traditionally blind. To me, Sonya`s aunt was a wise woman who thought on those lines. I do not see this episode addressing the unfortunate women of the Pakistani society who were uneducated.

While reading this well put together fictional piece, I had a completely different audience in mind and that`s why I raised my earlier points and expectations. Now, if we apply this story to the kind of audience you are referring to, I would tend to agree with you. Unfortunately, my point of reference was different.

I am an optimist, not an escapist :)

Re: # 66

Zahra. I totally agree with you. :)

Its just that i know of somene, who was not educated when faced with a similar situation. And she filed for Khula, resumed her education, and stated working. In fact she was working at quite a high post in a mltinational company, the last time i met her.


And... may the Optimists prevail. :)

Many bits here reminded me of the Iranian film: LEILA... see below from amazon.com...

-zensufi-

American audiences used to the fable-like Iranian films of Abbas Kairostami (A Taste of Cherry) and Jafar Panahi (The White Balloon) may be startled by Dariush Mehrjui`s devastating modern melodrama, Leila. Set firmly in the urban world of contemporary Tehran, this story of a couple pressured by family and tradition into destroying their happy union is a window into a world uneasily straddling the past and present. Happily married but childless, Leila and Reza are pressured by Reza`s mother to keep the family name alive. When Reza refuses to take a second wife (polygamy is still legal in Iran) the mother-in-law goes to work on Leila, beating down her resistance with a mix of pleading, haranguing, and outright lies, until the couple limply gives in.

Mehrjui`s subdued, subtle approach rolls with the gentle rhythms of a slow-paced society like many of his contemporaries, but underneath the surface calm is a churning sea of emotions: betrayal, abandonment, guilt, and grief. While the story can stand as a metaphor for the power of tradition in a modern world, Mehrjui`s heart is with Leila`s desperation and sorrow while she flails for support, even while helping choose her husband`s bride. Dariush Mehrjui has been described as the godfather of Iranian cinema, and has repeatedly clashed with Iranian censors while pushing the envelope of social issues. This understated but vivid tragedy is witness to his place in cinematic history. --Sean Axmaker

Most upsetting, the bit about having lost weight..that wasn`t relevant; sort of an antipathy to the whole pregnancy thing? Right, well, I`m male. I`m going to say things like that- it`s an inbred optimism, that Sonya does turn out alright in the end - although, wanting her own kid then adopting, in a bout of not misplaced but certainly admirable compassion, another.. one has to wonder whether this grief hasn`t left her a bit shellshocked, if you know what i mean.
The thing i wondered a little at was viewing their plight (`cos for me they`re both a plank short of a bridge) from the standpoint of a male-dominated society. This is primogeniture we`re talking about. Aunt Samina, even Sonya, get to make decisions in life that the Edhi baby`s parents might not have been able to because of this very male-dominated society. Take it away and the best one can hope for is to end up with power half-way between the two. So from a practical point of view I stand back, while admiring the intense fidelity of Sonya, and think that though she is Right- it would have been awfully convenient for her to have, at least slowly, realised that being Right often isn`t enough.
It`s pretty well told, `doe-like eyes` though?

A wonderful read. Few women have the bravery in Pakistani society, which has been exhibited in your story. Most of the females prefer to be drama queens than become their own savior and uphold their beliefs and values.

Thank you for sharing. this story is a must read for every girl next door in Pakistan, to bring home to them the fact- Courage comes from within.

regards.

Re: # 60

Very interesting. I never realized that some women have such low self esteem that they find this fictional piece an inspiration. I did not realize that things were that bad.

Re: # 62


Sadly, though one can not ignore the fact that an uneducated woman, who has spent all her life, in the belief that she can not survive in this society without a man, and unfortunately, also brainwashed that it will be wrong for her to not acquiesce to monogamy since religion allows it, does indeed, have a very low self esteem.

And for those simple woman, even a short story, which might lack intellectual depth, can be a source of hope and strength. But you missed the point there... The emphasis is not the story or the ``inspiration`` as you put it, it is the fact that many women in Pakistan , do not have the strength to stand up for themselves. And that indeed, is a very sorry state of affairs.


-

Re: # 60
Many thanks for your kind words...
Many females do find solace in being `drama queens` as you put it, while many others even refuse to acknowledge their emotions...and then there are some warm and gentle women who grow, evolve and gain strength from adversity...each responds in a way unique to her person.
I`m glad you liked Sonya for who she was....and my portrayal of her character. :)

#57

Sir, you are a gas!
:)

Re: # 41

Thank you for your clarification. Hope to read more from you.

Take care!

#50 Zahraji

You are right, dear sis!

A bit of mirchi is quite basic to most desi preparations, but too much mirchi alone does not a good meal make - in fact it is perhaps highly damaging to one`s health.

Especially so when it is time to do the overall numbers - in the light of the morning - when the excesses of the long night have to be accounted for - and the pain is overbearing.

And so is the stench!

:)

End of this love story is quite realistic and sane.

the desired end of the story that all women folks wish is not possible in this real world might be u would find it out in some bollywood movie story.

anyway

Written very well , keep writing and sharing on chowk and be realistic

Re: # 51

Being a woman, I do not want to see such ``realistic`` stuff that deprives women of their basic rights. I also don`t want to read about the yesteryear practices and put them on a pedestal celebrating a regressive and to some extent demented cultural mindset. So, please do not assume that what is realistic to you may be realistic to others as well.

By the way, the concept of happiness is very brutally butchered in today`s world. It`s an internal emotion vs. an external facade. And not everyone watches Bollywood bukwas to define love, happiness, joy and felicity.

Hope you have a happy day!

Re: # 51
Thank you for sharing your observations about my story...and also for the appreciation. :)

#47 by ZahraJ

Ama Zahraji, that plot I wrote is quite realistic fiction – even if it includes rather unhappy stuff. (Except for the last sentence about Ram rajya which, as far as most people can guess, is extremely unlikely.) Perhaps I was trying to impress upon mian Hamidm2 that I am not limited to sappy plots!

Homosexuality, jihadism, murder for hire, illicit sex – all of these are simple facts of life in Pakistan and elsewhere. No reason for you to find their inclusion in the plot so discomforting and disconcerting?! :(

[I am glad that you are not writing the sequel.]

You realize I am known to sit down and do exactly that upon the least of provocations! You are not trying to provoke, are you?! :)

Re: # 49

bj,

............... sorry, i was busy and almost missed your lovely plot for the sequel - it is much much better than this utterly sappy and predictable piece of writing ........ it seems to me that women love to wallow in their misery and write crap like this not because they are actually outraged and want to right a wrong; they do it simply because they want to have a good cry ......... women, like our desi poets, just love to cry and whine about unrequited love, boorish lovers and bitchy mothers-in-law ............ this type of writing is a lucrative genre and industry in itself - a strange mishmash of stuff that titillates and excites pubescent girls and frustrated housewives ....... maybe ms tahera can one day join the ranks of danielle steele and jackie collins ........... i wish her well, but i still prefer you, dean koontz and john grisham - real men who write unadulterated crap for real men ............

Re: # 49

BJK - I want you to write the sequel.

See, your picture was in complete contrast to what a civil person will like to see. There is too much of hodgepodge in your story. I want it clean, sweet, romantic, and last but not least FAIR. I will be happy!

:)

interesting story but something`s off... i`m not sure what, i`d like to think most devoted husbands wouldn`t do this to their wives of ten years... but then this was a story... i wonder how things would have changed if she had a baby girl, not really the eastern version of a heir but a baby nevertheless.

anyway, good read, someone said it was a bit Soapy and i agree, but that`s ok, it held the reader`s interest till the end

Re: # 46
Thanks for your comments...glad you found the piece to be a good read, even though a bit `off`!!! :)

#44 by ZahraJ

Good imagination but a bit too sissy for my taste! Let me provide an alternate version – a bit shorter than yours, but more of a macho suspense theme.

Sonya is mad at her ex-hubby. She goes hires a hatchet man. Hatchet man hacks ex-hubby to death – cannibalizing a few vital organs. Sonya has no money to pay him so she tries to sleep with him. But hatchet man is gay – Sonya detests him. Hatchet man blackmails her. Sonya steals from mother-in-law to pay him. But the money has actually come from the Mullah who is having an affair with the mother-in-law and who is secretly funding mother-in-law by stealing from jihadi boxes. The jihadis come after the hatchet man, but they are gay in temperament and the hatchet man is able to charm them and sleep with them. Sonya gets pregnant through artificial insemination but loses custody of the children to the hatchet man and his partner gay jihadi and the children grow up to become butch lesbians. Then Pakistan develops into a progressive, liberal Ram rajya and everybody starts to live happily ever after. End of story!

Re: # 45
BJK - Sorry, very dark, vulgar and inappropriate imagination. I am glad that you are not writing the sequel.

I do not want to further disturb the train of thought that was discussed in this fictional piece, but it will be unfair not to analyze and evaluate the story from a different angle.

What I would have liked to see -

a. Sonya should have taken her mother in law to task for forcing her son to marry someone else. The very idea to marry or have sex with another woman to have a child sounds pretty disgusting. Slapping XYZ (whatever her hubby`s name was) did not convey much. I would have liked to read a conversation between the m-i-l and Sonya. It seems that m-i-l was all in power to do whatever she could. We are misleading our future generations.

b. I wished there was a court where Sonya could file a suit against her husband on various accounts, e.g. inability to withstand marital responsibilities, inability to refuse the orders of his mother impacting their marriage, and excluding her from his plans of a 2nd marriage.


What the writer should not have done
(By doing that she supports the cultural mental fatoor)

c. Portraying women as the maker or breaker of a relationship. So, it`s Sonya who could not have a child. Why was that important to prove? It also gives a message that women are the ones with some issues when it comes to not being able to have a child. Why could not the man have some issues ? Is that a taboo subject ? Again, the man was shown as the all-in-power king here who could impregnate another woman and have a child through her. Yes, he looked emaciated and not his usual self, but beyond that it was Sonya who had to reinvent her life. It also portrays a poor image of men.

d. The writer saves the man from the wrath of his wife by putting the blame on the mother in law for impacting his current relationship. It also ascertains that men have no say in the relationship with their wives and can be twisted in any direction by their mothers. These mothers are also women. What are we saying here?

e. Now, let`s visit poor Huma who was used as a scapegoat in this episode. It`s unfair to misuse cousin relationship.

In short, I would not change this story but I would like to read a sequel that is in complete contrast to this story. Probably, that can be a story of Ujala and Umar`s son.

I think Hamidm can come up with some interesting ideas based on all the years of Hoor and Zaibunissa reading :p

#39 (addendum)

...Therefore, take your pick of tears or puke! :)

#34
(further thoughts)

Hamidm2 mian, thanks for your confidence in my abilities. Now that you mention it, I am all excited and my creative juices are really bubbling up in heady heat - I can not wait to get cracking to claim that mantle as THE writer of sappy paperbacks that make women cry and drive real men to puke and to cry out.

Before you know it, this web site will start drowning in tears on one side and puke on the other side!

What a sangam that will be!! :)

All of it thanks to YOUR encouragement, sir!! I am beginning to fall in love with you.

Tahera Sajid,

Touching story. It made me think seekingly about the fickle nature of humanity; how one person in a relationship, like a dysfunctional wheel, could separate from the when the road to life became discomforting.

I have heard so many times the cliche: ``Love will survive.`` It almost makes the phenomenon of love sound like an objective, living entity. Well, love is only as real as it is in mutual capacity felt and lived and understood.

I like this piece of prose but would also like to know what the message the author wants to send across. Also, given the cultural and religious tradition in this context, was Umar wrong in obeying his mother or was it unreasonable of Sonya to act the way she did? A further illucidated perspective on these issues would be helpful in understanding the piece better.

However, I can feel Sonya`s rage by these lines:

``She opened the door. There he stood, unshaven and dishevelled. She felt no love for him, only contempt.

With one swift movement, she slapped him hard across his cheek – the cheek she had touched lovingly so many times in the past.

He stared in disbelief.

“Don’t ever come here again.” She muttered coldly.

Umar saw steely resolve in her eyes… and knew he was beaten.``

Peace!

Re: # 38

Thank you so much for your indepth review...
This story was not meant to be essentially moralistic. Truth is relative. Umar was not wrong, nor was Sonya. Life is all about making choices, be they right or wrong. Once done, however, one has to live with the consequences...as did Sonya and Umar!
Your line `love is only as real...understood` seems to put things in proper perspective quite nicely!! :)

#36 Philosopher

Yaar, may I gently enquire why you are so upset with me? To the best of my knowledge, I have never interacted with you. :)

#34
:)

Re: # 34hamidm2 gadhay

only a person of your calibre can admire a 3rd class man like bjkumar.

you are going very well to your third class mentality.and man dont try to creat `awareness` in me coz baby i m adoing phd in philosophy and i am miles away from what your countless forefatherfathers can imagine. i know u r a `balanced` nation. but u wont concentratere.i know. i am Quran

Well TS...do you see yourself as Mills and Boon material? I would have thought Virago more likely.

TBoB

Re: # 30
No, not M&B... Virago, anytime!!! :)

#25 Hamidm2

[haven`t read anything like this since ``the sheikh`s unwilling wife`` by sharon kendrick]

Mian, that link you gave contains some real gunpowder of a plot!

Wow!

I read from the description:

“...The Sheikh will claim his wife…

It’s been five years since Ayesha set eyes on her impossibly attractive husband from Islamabad – five years since she walked out on their sham of a marriage and took her five children with her – as well as a precious secret. But she’s always known that he will come for her – finally motivated to do the right thing, through the urgings of the local Mullah – who would have it no other way! And when he does she will be lost to the sensual promise of his glittering black eyes – those joyous encounters sans the encumbering foreskin… And she will melt like freshly-made butter and submit!

Submit to the yearnings of the flesh – at the urgings of the Mullah – the Sheikh!

Since discovering that he is the son of the powerful tribal ruler, her khala is determined that Ayesha should resume her rightful position as his son’s wife and accompany him to the promised land. But how will this proud woman, of Khalistani descent, react when she discovers that he already has a son with another woman in the meanwhile…?”

Like I said, wow!

Re: # 26


bj mian,

....... i think you have some real talent and a great future as a writer of sappy paperbacks that make women cry and drive real men to puke and cry out: ``Praised be God that he has not created me a gentile! Praised be God that he has not created me a woman! Praised be God that he has not created me an ignoramus !`` ....... unfortunately some of can`t be so sure about the last one ..........

...... anyway, i don`t mean to belittle tahera`s skills as an aspiring m&b authorette (no, that is not a real word), but i`d rather od on dean koontz, john grisham and stephen king before i touch this sissy stuff ........

simply wonderful ! ....... haven`t read anything like this since ``the sheikh`s unwilling wife`` by sharon kendrick ......... i honestly think it should be published - here is a link to a great publisher:

http://www.millsandboon.co.uk/cgi-bin/millsandboon.filereader?45f407ff0054bd08273f58d0dc9e0663+EN/catalogs/NULL

Re: # 25

:)

khula and talaaq are two separate things....
even if a woman does not reserve the right for talaaq while signing the nikaak contract, she always has the right for khula....

since u seem to be not so familiar with the Islamic Shari`ah, let me tell u this, the wife can ask for khula for no reason at all, but can not ask for divorce on the basis that her husband has married another woman....

now go and do some homework to learn the difference between talaaq and khulaa....

Re: # 24
You wrote,

...a woman...always has the right for khula.... the wife can ask for khula for no reason at all...

Well according to the Sahria`ah (that you seem to have read something about), does NOT allow women to seek khula without a valid reason; these `reasons` are actually enumerated in Islamic Jurisprudence and are only a few.

Again the right of a woman to divorce her husband is absolutely NOT allowed in Sharia`ah. This right of a woman to divorce is actually a part of the ``Family Laws`` in Pakistan, enacted by President Ayub in early 1960s. This has nothing to do with Sharia’ah; it is just a specific Civil Law in Pakistan, to provide some protection to women in an otherwise completely unequal situation in marriage. Infact most of the religious leaders in Pakistan have been doing their utmost for years to repeal these very laws.

Therefore in Pakistan when a women who keeps a right to divorce her husband, goes to the court to do the same, it is still called `khula` (not talaaq) because technically she cannot give `talaaq` to her husband under the Sharia`ah Law. The only difference from a `regular` khula here is that she does not have to provide any justification/reason for her decision; while otherwise she would have to come up with a `justifiable reason`. In either case in Pakistani court it is called `khula` and not `talaaq`.

Although I think this debate about the exact terminology is useless while assessing a short story such as this (it is divorce whichever way you see it), I am writing these comments as a student of law, with the hope that in future before you post any rude comments again, you would first go and read about whatever you are writing yourself.

As far as the article itself is concerned, it simply had me enthralled from the beginning to the end. I never seemed to have lost my interest and curiosity as to what was coming next. The theme of the story was good and relevant to the present. It proceeded seamlessly so that there never seemed a break in the narrative. That is great storytelling. Although the story could have taken so many turns, it is the choice of the author to take it where she wants it to go. I don`t think the story was predictable; maybe because I really can`t see into the future! There is a strong message of hope for so many women like Sonya who might otherwise simply `accept their fate`. Great story. Way to go Tahera. Hope to see more from you.

Re: # 33
Thanks for your kind words regarding my piece ... glad you liked the storyline, as well as my style, and found it to be a pleasant read. :)

I really enjoyed the story. The writer created perfect imagery which is what i think good writing is all about. I felt sorry for Sonya - i should have felt inspired by her. this aspect could have been worked on.

Tahera, you should write more often

Regards,

Dee

Re: # 23

Thanks for your comments...appreciating my style and putting forth your views.
I was hoping to create a character in Sonya that drew sympathy plus inspiration... Sonya`s strong conviction in her stand helped her go on with her life, hence the element of inspiration. Similarly, since the life she had to leave behind was much cherished, it would surely be missed...perhaps forever, and she would draw sympathy on that account!!! :) Glad you enjoyed the piece, though, even if it didn’t inspire you!

I was pleasantly surprised by the quality of writing and the story.Tahera , you observe and express with the delicacy and compassion typical of a woman. This was a lovely read.
Why was the story predictable,pray? At any critical point in the story, there could have been at least 2 alternative and completely plausible routes.We also see Sonya changing her stance during the story.
There is just one small thing. You have very carefully and lovingly developed Sonya`s character.The story is almost in first person. Perhaps it would have been good if you could have given some insight into Umar`s character.
Anyhow, thanks for sharing this lovely piece.Keep writing.

Re: # 21

Thanks for your very kind remarks... critique plus appreciation!
That`s a good point...Umar`s character could`ve been developed in more detail and it might have made his actions (or inaction!) more understandable....or it might have shifted the focus from Sonya`s ordeal whom I wanted to be the central figure!!! :) Pleased to know you liked my writing style and found the story to be an enjoyable read!

Dear Readers,

I can see the story has generated quite a bit of controversy and steady comment-traffic here...well, I would like to say what a lively bunch of critics we have here!!! It is truly insightful to see one`s work through other people`s eyes...dissected and run mercilessly through the shredder!!!! Wow... a great learning experience, no less! :)

Thanks for your time. :)

Re:#15 lets see it`s been a while since I read them. What stands out is the story about the newlywed Indian yuppie couple (I think they were an arranged match) and the wife insists on showcasing a tacky bust of Christ in their living room much to her husbands annoyance but blithely dismisses any reservations he expresses. Lahiri was demonstrating the misunderstandings that can arise out of anywhere when two people who do not really know each other marry one another. Also the ? ``Sexy`` story seemed really cheesy. A Malaysian Chinese friend who is very familiar with Indian culture stated that the stories did not ring true and was not suprised to learn that Lahiri herself was born in the States. She tried hard to re-create the pathos of dislocation which she is more successful at in her novel.

Re: # 19

was that story from Interpreter of Maladies? I recently returned to that story and thought it was quite good. can you give me specifics as to what plot lines, character development, thematic issues you are critiquing? It doesnt sound like you`ve read Lahiri`s work....


For the record, The Namesake was a really well written novel and I`m not looking forward to Nair`s adaption.

Re: # 53

Really? You are not excited about the Nair effort ? :(

Kyoun?

Ideally, I would have liked to see Sonya growing into a responsible individual in her relationship with her spouse than once she got out of it. It also left a bad taste about the institution of marriage. Is that institution only supposed to inculcate dependency on each other ?

I was not very happy with Sonya`s communication with her in-laws. I found that part really weird that she ended up giving in what the mother-in-law prescribed for her husband. And t after 10-years of marriage the husband had to follow his mother`s guidelines to abandon his wife on a superficial level was a little off. Why couldn`t the husband stand up (provided he had a stable spine) to preserve the sanctity of his marriage with Sonya? Is this a cultural fatoor?

Re: # 18

Thanks for your candid analysis...
Ideally, perhaps, many things should`ve been different... but Sonya was just an ordinary woman, trying to survive in extraordinary circumstances ... trying, actually, to preserve her self respect! Yes, a lot could`ve been different...and it would`ve been a completely different story!!! Sorry you found the `teacup` lacking in many ways! :)

Re: # 18
``Ideally, I would have liked to see Sonya growing into a responsible individual in her relationship with her spouse than once she got out of it.``
Zahra, In my opinion, the lines about punctuality which are mentioned in the end, are more to signify that Sonya cherishes her present life too, than with becoming responsible.
The germination of her responsible and independent persona would have been the day she took the decision to go for a divorce.

Re: # 22

Rahul - I read it differently. The writer has compared the couple early on and also declared them total opposites of each other. Sonya`s picture was depicted very different from what she ended up taking on at the end. And that happens with quite a few women in her shoes. Obviously, they end up becoming more responsible with different kind of responsibility that falls on their shoulders.

To answer you first question on her hubby`s persona, I think in the few paras that becomes very clear.

See, I am fine with the theme and obviously the writer has tried to fit her theme in the story or take the story to the theme -- whatever. Interestingly, this type of stories keep on staying longer than any mills and boon stuff (very dear to mohtaram hamidm`s heart). I would question that why won`t a fiction story of love and betrayal have more challenging characters. After all, a writer can make her characters play a role that she desires them to. No ? Does she have to stay in the boundaries of cultural norms? Am I askig for too much?She could have portrayed an average woman suing her husband for marrying without her permisson. Why did not Sonya adopt Ujala early on in her marriage? This type of stories will further promote the mental degradation that already exists in South Asian society. Yes, you can appreciate fiction as fiction, but as I said earlier many of these stories are influenced by the surrounding culture. So, in 2007, one should not be giving examples of what may have been fine in 1700s. We should have higher standards from our average women. Only then we have a right to celebrate the women`s history month. Otherwise, we should celebrate mental degradation among women.

Z

Author, pay no attention to mian Hamidm2`s remonstrations. He is merely jealous of your heart-felt writing skills and abilities - and he is trying very hard to remember where he misplaced his own - but having understandable difficulty on account of his senior moments!

BTW, it will be useful if you told us a bit about how you came to write this piece - for example, is it based on any real life events? also, what is the likelihood of things in real life turning out the way you describe here?

Tahera -

I was thinking about this story yesterday and how I would like it to end (in an ideal situation). But then a lot of these short stories are the results of what our women see or hear around them.

The most interesting aspect of the story focused on Sonya`s transformation from a careless housewife to a punctual care-taker.

In a way, you are also saying that unless women are granted responsibility or have to take steps in life on their own, they do not become mature to take care of themselves.

I am not a fan of fiction, but this was a sweet story.


Hamidm -

I find it real amusing that you remember all the forgotten women magazines from yester- years. It seems that you were really into them...hiding in a corner flipping through the pages before an elder saw you... You are becoming too predictable now. You need to oil the hinges and revive the spark. It`s kind of fading :)

Just my a comment. I disagree about critiquing the author for ``predictability``. It is the mindest of deeply entrenched gender biases and how they manifest in South Asia that is so predictable (unfortunately). I guess for some they know it so well that it becomes obvious what happens next. I think it rung true because that is how things evolved. What made the story disturbing/compelling is how even a seeimingly devoted couple and a man so in love with his wife finds it so difficult to stand up to familial/cultural pressures. the author is working with limitations of space. Yes the story and mindsets are all to familiar but the structure and form was taut and moved seemlessly from one situation to the next which is an achievement.

I remember reading Jhumpha Lahiri`s stories in ``Intrepreter of Maladies`` and just cringing at the pretentious contivances she attempted to avoid ``predicabilty``. Far more Americans were enthralled and captivated by her tales than Indians. I heard ``Namesake`` is far better.

Re: # 14

which contrivances? i.e. examples

Touching as it was, the story unfolded with extreme predictability. It was as if i had come across almost all parts of it here and there before. But the flow, the diction and the writing style drew immediate admiration out of me and despite the predictability, kept me reading till the end. Keep writing!!

Re: # 11
Thanks for the comment. Yes, perhaps it was a bit predictable considering the current senario of women`s lib and all...or perhaps only as predictable as life itself, at times!!! Many thanks for appreciating my style, nonetheless! :-)

im a 19 yr old guy.... not sure abt a lot of things in life...
but still can go on to say that this was as touching an article i`ve seen

Re: # 9
`Age` they say, `is a matter of feeling, not of years`... Learning is a life-long process...if we keep an open mind. We learn as we go, each day at a time... enriching ourselves with exposure - evolving, growing and developing into individuals of diverse temperaments and perspectives.

Thank you for your comments. I`m glad you liked my piece.

what is the world coming to ! ......... there was a time when a man could have ten twelve wives, half a dozen concubines and an odd boy or two, and the world would accept him as a prophet or a khalifa .......... what happened ? ....... i think it all started when women were given national id cards and allowed to drive and then vote .... astagfirullah ! ......... now we are at a point that women are seen in public sans burqa - not only seen, but some of them also dare to speak in front of men ........... next thing we know ahmedis and hindoos will demand recognition as people and pigs will want equality with sheep and cows ......... verily, these are signs of qaiyamat ........

p.s. the story really belongs in a chick magazine like khawateen digest or hoor - i don`t think it will have much of an audience among the neanderthals on this forum other than the odd girly-man like bjkumar ..........

Re: # 8

Everyone`s entitled to their own opinion...thank you for your feedback.

Reply to #1, #2, #3, #4:

Thanks for your comments...

#1...without Aunt Samina`s foresight, I suppose, Sonya would have `a real situation` on her hands, as they say!!! Seriously, though, there`s not much in life one can`t achieve if one is determined enough. It just has to be worth the struggle. Thanks for your time...reading and commenting.

#2...Thanks for your kind words...I`m glad you liked my piece...yep, sure do have more tales to tell!! Keep a look out. :-)

#3...yes, agreed... it was a bit soapy because life is a drama of conflicting emotions and diverse perspectives; more and more women are learning to reject other people`s definition of their role/place in the society and defining their own existance...glad you liked the basic idea, and thanks for letting me know!

#4...Thank you so much for your comments...glad you liked the piece...its a topic that affects many lives in our culture...though eastern culture is evolving and we are learning to view gender specific problems in their proper perspective, we still have a long way to go!

Predictable but very nicely written. Kept me engrossed till the end.

Re: # 5
Thank you for commenting on my piece...pleased to know you appreciate my style and found it gripping, albeit predictable!!! :-)

Really a very nice piece of work,
Heart-touching............
Well Written

a bit soapy, but thank you for a strong female protagonist!

I have never commented on fiction here but your story was a gem! So well constructed and you recreated the whole scenario in such a compelling fashion I could see it unfold in front of my eyes.

Hope you have more tales to tell.

[A lone woman has no place in this vicious society...]

How true!

Also, what would have happened had there not been an aunt with a bit of foresight?!