My Teenage Years in Lahore

What a beautiful piece of writting.... aays shehr lahore wich keeney booyee teh kineeyian barreeyan ney...

Amer Nazir

Shore sahib, I looked for it, but couldn't find it here. I'm always looking for a healthy drink, so will keep looking for it.

Kabuliwallah Sahib,
Thank you for the compliments. I appreciate it.

Yes, my paternal family is from India. My grandfather migrated from Delhi to Lahore.

Thank you Blithe, Augmentin and blithe. I appreciate the compliments.

Nb,
Persimmon white tea is a White tea that is infused with the flavor of Persimmon fruit. Just google it.
Its quite good and very high in antioxidants and polyphenols.

Asim,

this was nice...I always love to hear a place's description from someone who is in love with that place...and I liked the little details...I think they are most important...going by the paandaan and all, does your family have an India connection?...and we all loved Chitra Haar too in those non-satellitle god forsaken days...Cheers!

nice to recall back!
keep on writing , continuty gives improvement

Shore Sahib, don't accept all the 'maddening' advice. Who cares about the address of GC vs. FC. Don't be apologetic. You have serious talent!

Why is this filed under cricket, and also what is persimmon white tea?
Your childhood sounds quite idyllic in some ways, shore sahib. Wehn did you come to America?

Did you find Louisiana to be much different from Lahore? I find nostalgia-themed articles boring, hey the past is dead and it was never that great anyways.

Dear Tahir Sahib,
I wrote this article as a paragraph at a time during Spring of 2005 sitting at my desk at work. I finally combined all of the paragraphs into a single essay, and sent it to chowk. I was sure that they wouldn't publish it, but they did.

I realize that there is infinite room for improvement, and I am looking forwards to working hard and getting better.

Hopefully, people like you will keep giving me feedback.

Thank you.

Dear Neembu Sahiba,
I appreciate your comments, and firstly I would like to thank you for the compliments.
Secondly, I appreciate your constructive criticism and I thank you for them. This is my first article on Chowk, and I definitely need a lot of improvement.

I am sure that you will keep giving me constructive criticism in the future, and I am sure that will improve my writing.

Well Asim, those who've given you a few free pointers need to be thanked! The most difficult thing for a writer is to be his or her own editor. And as I understand it, you were moved to writing this article by something else on CHOWK, right? Whatever . . . keep at it.

Tahir Gul Hasan (from The Wild Side Of The Mall)

PS: I object to that dancing girl's video embedded in your article. Now that wasn't your choice, was it?

Shore sahib you are good person so you must not lie here, GC required higher gradings than the merit of FC. Architecture, atmosphere and no-jammiyat shold not go unnoticed by the person like you then how come you rejected GC? of course it was not matter of distance as even many subcontinent students attended college.

TS,

Shore sahib lack one talent, s/he cant tell a lie!
not to mention s/he was not good in academics!

Bhatti Sahib,
Mcleod Road was my grandfather's house, and not my father's house.
Your geography is accurate. Mcleod Road is very close to Government college.

"Govt College was very far from my house but FC was practically in my backyard."

Well if my geography of Lahore is correct then Mcleod Road is nearer to Government College rather than FC College unless they have changed the name of road on which Chuadhry bradran lives to Mcleod Road..

Kunkil,

Nostalgia limits any text to various parameters. Its also unreliable and doesnt actually achieve anything revelatory...just the unthinking burnishment of the past.

Too much hyperbole but good imagery in your writing!

Asim Yaar, you are young and full of energy and excitement, which is very refreshing to see. Don’t be calling your such recent past your golden years. Golden years come after retirement, which most of us Chowkies are about to experience (Neembu is inching towards hers slowly too). Your golden years are ages away, like about 3 decades.

Lahore rocks. Even though I was born in Multan, I consider Lahore to be my birthplace, because I attended college there, and it’s there where I lost my emotional virginity and gained my confidence. Lahore grows on you more once you leave it. I was in Lahore a few weeks ago, and I went to Shah Jamal on a Thursday evening to see Papu Sayeen perform, and honest to Allah, I will be willing to pay upwards of 1000 dollars to experience a night like that in New York City.

Neembu, it is about reminiscing the good old times, and nostalgia – read it as such.

Hey Asim,

Thanks for contributing this piece.

This descriptive piece is very sensory and this aspect is a good thing.

However, ultimately, the text amounts to not much more than the gilded surfaces rendered. What is the point of this piece?

If I were to guess as to the textual intention, it seems that the description reveals a paradisical childhood-beautiful house, parents, school, etc. On one hand, I appreciate this constant aesthetic affirmation, given that you are openly gay and have received a share of homophobic responses from various interactors who have bragged about their houses by the sea, their travels, etc. I understand what this description is supposed to signify.

For a first draft, it is competent. However, as a reader, I'm not taking away much after reading this than the nostalgia of privillege, a contemporary desi Brideshead Revisted advert.

Much revision is needed.

Regards,
-N