Chicken Biryani
Raiya Hashmi December 11, 2007
#1 Posted by digitalsurgeon on December 12, 2007 1:28:54 pm
please dont mind me, i wanted to read something good and this was not it, i myself have probably dreamt of such stories every time i go to work.
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#3 Posted by rahul_capri on December 15, 2007 10:18:55 am
Raiya,very nice!The built-up to the climax is wonderful.The choice of the title is also very clever.The reader;while waiting for something to happen;also can never take the title out from his mind- which signifies a happy,uneventful, ending.
This creates a nice conflict.
You are a skilled craftsman.
This creates a nice conflict.
You are a skilled craftsman.
#4 Posted by catfischblues on December 17, 2007 10:08:14 pm
I was not very impressed by the story. From the moment it began, I could predict the ending. A fairly simple irony was dipicted. The overused, reaching towards the end, the negative emotions melt away, the overwhelming relief and security and just then 'poof'.
#5 Posted by rahul_capri on December 18, 2007 4:28:50 am
catchfishblues,
This story wasn't meant to be a suspense story.There can be only one ending.The beauty of this story lies in giving a human touch to what is just a news item to everyone else.And the fact that it is done in a non judgmental way;like someone recording everything with a hand held camera;makes it more powerful.
This story wasn't meant to be a suspense story.There can be only one ending.The beauty of this story lies in giving a human touch to what is just a news item to everyone else.And the fact that it is done in a non judgmental way;like someone recording everything with a hand held camera;makes it more powerful.
#6 Posted by ijaz_gul on December 23, 2007 10:26:42 am
Well to begin, the plot was well built. Though some say it to be familiar, it is also real. Its a reality on our streets almost on daily basis.
Maybe most of us can relate to it. In 1969, my brother coming back from the gym in Government College Lahore never turned up for three days. My family went through misery. He was badly beaten and pulped by the Police.
Cherrios and keep it up!
Maybe most of us can relate to it. In 1969, my brother coming back from the gym in Government College Lahore never turned up for three days. My family went through misery. He was badly beaten and pulped by the Police.
Cherrios and keep it up!
#7 Posted by Goldfinger on December 23, 2007 5:24:15 pm
A nicely done job, sometimes good fiction intermingles with the truth and vice versa. Keep it up Raiya Hashmi!
#8 Posted by Goldfinger on December 23, 2007 5:24:19 pm
A nicely done job, sometimes good fiction intermingles with the truth and vice versa. Keep it up Raiya Hashmi!
#9 Posted by raiya_23 on December 29, 2007 12:12:24 pm
Re: # 4 I never meant this story to be different or unique…these are the events that I actually went through about a year ago…except for the dying part everything is just as I saw it happening & that evening is as vivid in my mind as ever…and considering the 34 innocent people that were killed after the incidents of 27 Dec…this is a stark truth…On the TV we may only see one person being assassinated but nobody covers the lives of the hundreds of others who lose their lives just because they happen to be at the wrong place at the wrong time
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