Abdul Latif Khalid (1944-2007)

Yasser

My sincere condolences on the death of your father which I have also noted in ijaz_gul’s thread on UP for the same.

I can see that your father lived a most fulfilling life, “a life well lived” indeed. He did a lot of good for which he will be remembered with love and respect not only by his family and friends but also by the greater community he served - remarkable and praise-worthy to say the least. I wish to extend my support to you for your immense loss and the following lines have attracted my attention.

“He would repeat the story again and again in front of me. Perhaps he suspected I would treat him badly once he grew old. We will never know because he never gave me a chance to show him what kind of a son I would prove to be.”

To do justice to the memory of your father, your “guide and mentor”, you need to decipher what a parent actually means when he repeatedly points out something to his adult son:

“My darling beta, I am so grateful to Allah that you have turned out to be such a good son that I am able to share with you a historical fact, a father-son relationship, which has affected me so profoundly. Oh noble Yasser, I would not replace, with all the riches in the world that an emperor could have, the love and respect that you have for me. You are my pride and my joy.”

YLH, your Baba knew the kind of son you have turned out to be. Reading between the lines of what you wrote about him, I do believe that you were responsible for a great deal of happiness in his life. May that truth give you strength and peace.

Hamidm2, Zeemax, Neembu and a few others.

Thanks.

Manto mian,

I am sure your eulogy brought sad remembrances to all those on chowk who have undergone the traumatic loss of a parent. And for all those of us who still have both parents with us it is a timely reminder to give them the time, love and honour which they deserve but sadly often don't get.

Regards

PS: Could add a few things about the behaviour of a few chowkies on this post but best not to foul up a memorial post.

masadi dude, no one os saying you stop arguing or even using abusive language towards yasser...but do it on other boards and times...everything has its time and place. give it a rest.
--------

yasser, 63 is indeed a young age, though parents are never old. I don't know about others but as I am getting odler, I like my parents more and more...age gives you the experience to appreciate the hardships that your parents might have gone through for you. their old age is the time to repay them for their troubles in the form of comfort and respect. I am sure you would have been a wonderful son to be on his side in the years to come...it also sntached you of many many wonderful experiences and memories that were yet to happen.

our minds are designed to forget the truth of death..if we don't, it would be hard to live with constant fear. but death of a close person reminds us of this fact of life and forces us to re-evaluate our priorities in life...everytime I go to a funeral I come back much more wiser and humble.

It is unfortunate loss you had..but you will regain some of it back in the form of deeper relationship with your remaining family members. nothing is lost, it transforms and stays in our lives.

Dear Yassir,

Please accept my condolences on your great loss. May God gove you and your family the courage and patience to go through this dfficult time. May God also bless the soul of dear departed.

Madani sahib your post is better addressed to Manto, he has no respect for people offering sincere condolenses, that reflect how immature he is. Once the loss dawns on him, he will grow in maturity. My father died when he was 50 and in 2001 I lost my elder brother and nephew in a car crash, he was 32 at the time and the nephew was 3. I know what this loss is, he is just beginning to grasp it...

In #90 read "he lumped by sincere condolences" as "he lumped my sincere condolences

Hamid writes ".... masadi is a sorry excuse for a human being and his callous response reflects his wretched soul ...."

You personal attacks on every contrived occassion are a violation of Chowk guidelines and I am redflagging your post.

Anyone with even half an ounce of morality can see that the blame here lies not on myself but on Manto. Without even a thought he lumped by sincere condolences, [in which 1) I specifically state that I am putting away my differences for the purpose and 2) I agree with his fathers ideas on BB and ZAB], with the callous post by BJ, and alleged that I possessed no "humanity". This was an outrage that I had to address. That said, I will give it a rest.

By his reaction Manto has lost the little credibility he had left with chowk posters, with me, he never had any credibility. He is a disgrace to humainty in my opinion.

Yasser sahib

Thank you for sharing your very private feelings in this public forum. This takes a lot of courage and it reflects the strength of your passion.

As one who is unfortunate enough to have lost both parents I can appreciate your pain. Though it is NEVER the "right time" or the "right age" for losing a parent, the age of 63 is very early and very cruel. It particularly strikes a chord because my own father was 64 at the time of his passing. Like you the youngest, I was eleven. Thus, I consider you fortunate to have had the honor of knowing him as an adult.

I hope you have the strength to be a source of solace for your mother and other siblings. This, my friend, is a trial of pain that you alone must endure. I hope, for your sake, that it helps you to grow into a better person in the end. If you can do that you will have honored the life of your departed father.

...SR

PS: This may not be an appropriate thing to say at this early juncture while the wound is so fresh, but you must start thinking about your own cardiovascular health as early as NOW. Prevention is better than cure, and being a high risk individual for ischemic heart disease yourself(family history is THE MOST important risk factor), you should seriously consider, if you have not already, making those life-style adjustments as are relevent in your case.

May you be there for your children until your 80s or 90s.

Re: # 71 Dear Masadibhai.... I like your thinking and zestful opposition of peon mentality.
But like to register protest of your quite high degree of inhuman attitude and behaviour. I have suggested you many time to moderate yourself and many times it is better to refrain from saying anything. As words are like fired arrows you can not call back, they hurt and wound marks are left for all time.I will suggest you to ask for oppology and forgiveness for yourself.
Yes death is inevitable and you can not run away , once born we all travel to our death sooner or later. I will your theory also understand. Once I had loss of friend felt bad while returning home , It came to mind who I am to mourn loss and departure as i am also racing towards it also. That is all in macrosense right and gives courage to face things which we can not correct but endure.

Departure is end of era so decency requires to be solemn.It is not time for demegogy but to reflect on life and go ahead with courage.
(In personal life departure of your married daughters most painful, as once they depart its all gone,really something dies of yourself. One understands from the day they are born we are preparing for their departure but its hard to take that when they finally depart for good to start their families.Some time I think of my home use to be full of chatter and joy now it is silent)

This is request to YLH to forgive all for they do not know what they are saying and for infantile disorder.

{"In addition to being a first rate flyer, he was known for his singing talent during his days at the Lahore Flying Club. This talent extended both in and out of the club house, so much so that it got him into trouble during his first solo when he, out of sheer excitement of winning his wings, started singing a Rafi number into his mike with a frequency on which the control tower could hear him. When he returned to base, he was severely reprimanded for it by his instructor."}

Dear Yasser Bhai,
Thank you for sharing the heart warming anecdotes about your wonderful and life-loving dad. I have already expressed my sorrow, but now I wish to join you in celebrating this gentle man's love of life and those around him. I was especially touched by this unique episode about singing the Rafi song after winning his wings. This shows that your dad was no introvert and certainly enjoyed sharing his victories.

I am sure that was very proud of his young shehzada, who was no Aurangzeb (and you know how I really feel about the great Maharaja), at least as far as paternal affection was concerned.

May Allah grant him permanence in paradise and may you continue to brighten his good name. We all get to feel what you are feeling and may we all be as sincere, as graceful, and as exemplary as you, my good friend.

Salim

Re:hamidm
"... however, i don't think bj meant any harm - it is just the irish in him :) ..."

Its more the bihari in him......the irish bihari, given his fondness for the bottle....

A couple of years ago, I lost my mom and had to do her last rites. I can understand how Manto feels. Thats why I wanted to slap BJ for his stupid remarks....

yasser mian,

.... masadi is a sorry excuse for a human being and his callous response reflects his wretched soul ...... however, i don't think bj meant any harm - it is just the irish in him :) .... as irreverant as i am most of the time, when it comes to death and family i am okay with being a traditionalist ..........

..... anyway, from here on out, not a day will pass when you won't think of your father - that's the way it is ..... hopefully, his memory will be a source of strength even though there might be some regret over missed opportunities .....

Sorry, that was for Manto not Neembu.

Manto, I would have rather had read this nice piece as something personal of yours on I-Log. I can feel your loss and I hope you gain strength from your father's experiences and life in general.

sincerely,
CH

Neembu, what is the purpose of this article/eulogy? Is it to invite condolences from the readers towards Manto's father's passing? If so, then fine..compare that directive on interaction with every other article written on FP and tell me whether such directives are expcted/issued towards the interactions.

Manto and family deserve all the compassion and condolences for their loss. It is better suited for I_log. If masadi or BJ wrote what they wrote on an i-log interact, I would be upset. But this is FP.

I am trying to understand what propelledd the editorts to post a eulogy about an everyday pakistani's demise, which is littered with political, religious, and nationalistic issues on FP? If this invites comments on the motive of the writer or the editors, or on the life of the departed on FP, why are you suprised? this is FP.

Chaltahai,

This is indeed a public board. I agree with you. That just means that people can show us their real faces without fear.

I for one will never forget the kind words said by people like Alephnull, Sadna, Atif2 and Harish_hyd - all of whom I completely disagree with otherwise- on the link posted by Ijaz_Gul.

We owe each other common courtesy.