Psychology of Men's Honour and Women's Sexuality

dear dr. sohail,

I live in Southern California and enjoy nice weather throughout the year.

Been to Toronto many many times. People seemed pretty good. City sucks though.

Good to hear that your seminars include the religious folks, for they are the key to both damnation and salvation :D

In #54 read "when we talk about aggregate national data we are talking of data much superior to your biased "personal client" data which is always guided by your preconcieved notions of people from our country" as

"when we talk about aggregate national data we are talking of data much superior to your biased "personal client" data which is always guided by your preconcieved notions of people from our country, and is not scientific, i.e. a random sample in which everyone in the population being studied have an equal chance of being selected.

....and yes, Alhamdullilah Quran has already explained the 'psychology' of Gender. The writer is recommending us a solution (Western values) which itself is a problem, so look at the solution (Quranic moral values) and not the problem (Western values)

Assalamo'alaikum. I don't think this writer's enormously misguided views of a Muslim society would really sell, though we don't have any 'true' Muslim society even in the so-called Muslim 'states' but atleast we have hung on to our values by far, may Allah guide us all and enlighten our hearts so that we may recognize such develish attempts on our Emaan, Amin.

Please kindly download and view, if you can, Dr. Maulana Imran N. Hosein's video lecture on "Marriage and the Concept of Gender in Islam" located at : http://www.imranhosein.org

Another quite useless, banal, and tape-recorderesque reproduction of Western stereotypes regarding Eastern and particularly Islamic women. That this ____ would repeat that merely reinforces for us his agenda of being the spokesperson/peon of the Western elite. For example consider what he writes:

(Quote)It is sad to see how many Eastern women have been enduring such injustice and abuse. When they were living in the East they had limited choices but living in the West they are becoming aware of their rights and are challenging their husbands (end quote)

In the "East" because of family they have greater choices compared to the West where if they don't whore themselves to their husband (who in atleast 5 cases out of 10 is undependible), they have to whore themselves to the marketplace of the corporations that put them through all kinds of sexual harassment and glass ceilings and literally require them to use their sexuality if they are to advance. Tell us about the nearly one million women raped annually in the US, with rape having the lowest convinction rate of any crime, of about the 5 million beaten blue and black by their husbands out of which several thousands die, of the largest group of persistently poor in the US being women and children, with lack of marriage being the surest indicator of that, and then we can talk about "more choices" in the West- when we talk about aggregate national data we are talking of data much superior to your biased "personal client" data which is always guided by your preconcieved notions of people from our country. We do not need such moronic articles on this site.

Re: # 52
dear hurricane...since you do not know me you are not aware that in toronto our seminars has religious as well as secular speakers...the believers as well as the non-believers and then the papers are presented on both sites...our last seminar
fundamentalism and violence
was promoted on atheist, humanist as well as islamic sites...where do you live?
sincerely
sohail

Re: # 39 dr.sohail

Dear Dr. Sohail, please consider what I said carefully.

Your article is worthwhile but timely.
HOWEVER, you are not talking to the write people.

PERHAPS you cannot talk to the right people, for you are considered a secularist and westernized.

This means that the people who are all into honor killing etc...will not change their minds for they will not listen to you, as you are 1) not of the same religion and 2) not of the same culture (due to perceptions of secularism and westernization).

Therefore, Dr. Sohail, you have to bite the bullet and mingle with the mullahs. Get them on board, get them to say these things...and you may make a huge difference yet.

Otherwise, you are just creating a bigger divide :(

Re: # 50 Posted by hamidm2 on January 10, 2008 9:06:09 am

[Re: # 48

mohar,

..... i was talking about 'real' religions, not monkey stuff :)]

What is this monkey stuff? Are there people who follow monkeys around?

Re: # 48

mohar,

..... i was talking about 'real' religions, not monkey stuff :)

Re: # 35
I don't tnink you bow your head in submission (don't equate that with slavery!) to God. I'll assume you're a spiritual honey-bee that collects its nectar from various contradictory philosophical flowers, never focusing on the Unity.

May I suggest Dr. Muhammad Asad's THE MESSAGE OF THE QUR'AN. It will benifit you greatly if you were merely born as a Muslim, and even otherwise, in case you wish to understand who gave you life (not mum and dad silly!).

Until we meet again.

Peace (brother!?!?)

Re: # 37
[...all religions are misogynistic ...]

Not true... most "eastern" faiths are not misogynistic... In hinduism - female "shakti" is considered the ultimate power - goddess worship as much common as the god worship... Buddhism is pretty neutral on gender...

That's in theory... in practice, it's a different matter - considering all the bride-burning that happens in different places...

Re: # 28 Posted by ahmedmadani on January 9, 2008 4:52:31 pm

You are so right. You spoke the truth, man. Woman always discriminate men.

Re: # 43
dear muntajibkhan...i fully agree with you that long term solution is education. but we also need laws in every state that would make violence and abuse illegal and abusive people have to be encouraged to get professional help. in the long run we need to change violent consciousness of human beings into peace consciousness. we need to learn that we can resolve human conflicts by dialogue not violence and we need more teachers and parents to become positive role models for the next generation....thank you for your thoughtful comments. sincerely sohail

Re: # 37
dear hamidm2...being a therapist i am fortunate to see people everyday who change their personalities and philosophies and lifestyles...so i remain optimistic as a psychotherapist as well as a humanist...evolution is a slow process...and i am a patient man...smiles... sohail

Re: # 36
dear uba...i agree with you that healthy systems are open and progressive and flow like a river while closed systems stagnate and become ponds full of intellectual algae...sincerely sohail

Mr.Khalid Sohail
You have touched a raw nerve of those Muslim families who moved to Western countries in search of greener pastures. Indeed, you have very subtly addressed the dilemma of Muslims parents, who are highly anxious and wary that their daughters, while in the prime of their youth might adopt the Western values. It is still shameful that honor killings haunt the Muslim societies in many countries. It is undeniable that honor killings exist, and wherever they happen, it is imperative that steps that aim to educate people regarding sexuality must be taken. Mr.Khalid, you are a psychotherapist, perhaps of the Jungian branch. I agree with much of what you are saying in this article, but the important thing is how to take this message across the rural countryside of many Muslim countries, afflicted abjectly with poverty, deprivation and old tribal customs and values. Fighting depravity and values alien to those adopted by Muslims can only achieved by education, and not by any violent attempts. Killing someone in the name of saving one self’s perceived honor is a despicable act, and deserves condemnation as do other homicidal acts. No one can dictate virtuosity to any fellow being. If that had been possible, vices wouldn't have ever existed on this planet. Any way, a good job and an initiative in the right direction.