Men's Liberation...Better Late Than Never

Re: # 6
dear IB...you raised a very critical question...how to maintain a healthy and enjoybale relationship. one of these days i am planning to write an article titled
when monogamy becomes monotony
to answer your question in a few words all i can say is that those couples last longer and happier who
...stay creative in their personal lives
....maintain friendships outside marriage
...keep their marriage romantic by regular dates
...do not succumb to the institution of marriage and family and can maintain a personal touch with a touch of humour
it is hard but it is possible if both parties want it
sincerely sohail

Re: # 5
dear neembu...i apologize for not answering you earlier. i got busy in my clinic. i agree with you that unhealthy traditions are maintained through
culture
religion
and
law
those traditions are hard to break and we need to raise social consciousness to see the systemic factors that contribute to inequality...i really appreciate your comments
sincerely sohail

That feminist scoundrel, minister Renuka is at it again!

She has always been anti-MALE (!) in her views and has made her obnoxious views against son-in-laws' in the country pretty obvious to all with anti-son-in-law laws. She now wants to punish male clients instead of female prostitutes.

So now, females who provoke males into having sex are no more at fault. While males who give in to sexual desires will 'pay' with jail! Meaning more police and judicial harassment.

To these extremists, females provoking males to have sex is 'natural', and males accepting such advances is 'unnatural'!

While professional prostitutes and pimps will go scotfree, those who belong to society, doing other respectable jobs will be punished, only because of their gender.

Will smugglers, drug peddlers and VCD manufacturers go scot free, now on, while buyers of their products will be punished?

This feminist-vadi government has gone way too far in its anti-MALE ideology and needs to stop NOW!

http://wordpress.com/tag/renuka-chaudhary/

http://feminazisofindia.wo rdpress.com/2007/09/18/renuka-chowdhury-the-champion-of-cat-fights/

Re: # 11

this is as laughable as ranger's grievances against dalit exam candidates who scored higher than him and were accepted into post grad programs.

It is a gross, incredibly base act to imply that violence caused to men by women is equal to the violence caused to men by women. As with any institution, each charge needs to be investigated. But only a total faakir would claim that laws that protect women against dometic violence are illegal and used for illegal purposes.

When a person who has NOT committed any crime, begins to fear punishment under the provisions of a law, it is not a law anymore - it is state sponsored terrorism. www.498a.org

Violence against females is overreported. A CDC study showed that women were the perpetrators in 70% of nonreciprocal violence. Women are also just as likely to initiate reciprocal violence.

It is the portrayal of males on media such as TV serials, that has led to stereotyping of males as dirty, double speaking, double crossing, money and sex hungry beasts, that has led to such over-hyped respectability for womens 'movements' in India.

Womens 'lib' is one thing. But outright OBLITERATING mens rights through gender-biased laws is totally another.

While the first is all very well and gels with the natural hysteria and female inferiority complex, the other is about a scumbag, minister Renuka, victimising all males to avenge for her OWN divorce as well as her daughters.

Asking for equal rights for males is NOT the same as asking that females be DENIED their rights.

The Indian male still thinks of sex in terms of romance and lust. He is still in the days of Dharmendra, while the female has moved on to higher 'standards' and western 'styles'.

It reminds me of Jaws, where the innocent play on the shallow waters, not realising the dangers the lurks closeby. Indian males are oblivious to the dangers of 'life after lust'.

Males have always been known for their pampering of females. Witness our very own Taj Mahal. There are, in fact, males who are actually feminists full time, thinking they are morally superior since it is their job to protect the 'weaker' of the species.

In those days, the female got lighter work at home, while the male slogged it out throughout the day to protect his 'family'. And household 'chores' that feminists scream about, were not comparitively as 'hard' as what they appear to be today. Todays feminist ego today will not even let her allow a male to say he 'looks after' his family!

These days however, when BPO jobs have become the easier work, it is still the females who get preference there. If you are at an interview and the interviewer is male, it is the female who gets preference. God save you even if it is a female interviewer! Either way you are screwed! Nothing has changed, you might say. The males still do the dangerous physical, non-rewarding jobs - like guarding the frontlines.

What has changed however, is that, with females getting more opportunities, they are walking out of marriages, as seen in the no-fault divorce states in the USA where 73% of divorces are female-initiated, even without any financial incentive! Blaming, like is their second nature, their spouses. And scorned scumbags like minister Renuka are seeing to it that young males get abused legally too. Feminism is not the cause, but certainly a catalyst to the increasing divorce rates. Financial incentives in the form of 'maintainence' makes you think that it is a MIRACLE that females want to stay within marriages if at all - as a status symbol, you might say!

Indian males are not immune from how feminism is, and will, change society. Getting laid is NO big deal. And so is divorce. Not that marriage is an ideal solution. It was invented by religion and tradition and may die a natural death. But what revolts is the leverage that females seek to have at divorce. It is only when the law hits innocent people like you that you will wake up to the realities.

However, with stats such as these : divorce rates set to touch 40% ( current Mumbai levels ) at LEAST ( meaning 40% of females leading unattached, but 'maintained' lives ) and with 63% BPO employees working late night shifts being FEMALES ( Vs 37% males ), feminist hysteria is soon set to become a major force to reckon with for males.
Hence awareness of feminism, and a little more organisation among males will help.

Those who are convinced, please sign the petition.

http://www.petitiononline.com/dowry/petition.html

Those who are still not convinced however, may ponder over the timeless poem by Pastor Martin Niemöller (1892-1984) ... " First they came for the Jews..."


www.498a.org

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Re: # 6

really? how do women in Pakistani urban societies "dominate" men? are the nation's laws somehow not applicable in cities?

Yaar Sohail Sahab,

a) what i had noticed is that : women ( wifes ) rules the roost in most of Pakistani houses - specially when the sons/daughters grow old..

b) women in our society specially in urban areas are dominating then men - and in rural areas , if not rule the roost then are incharge de' affairs of family matters

having said that - i do accept, we men do abuse women but comeon, women do that by sending us to our own sofas to sleep afterwards! like the last 'mukaa' of the president, it's the women who has the last punch!

although i'm engaged to this girl for good 2-3 months and believe me - she's respectful (prorably because she's a deliwal - rofl ) but somehow, I could not say 'no' to her already - what we both fear is : would our love last till we are seventy-eight? or would it end like normal couples: marriage of convenience? any tips to be consistant?
regards,
Ali

Dr. Sahib,

Feminist scholars like Dr. Leila Ahmed and Dr. Amina Wadud have pointed out that certain periods of Islamic empire like the Abbasid period codified the marginalization of women. This interpretation was a departure from the First Muslim societies in which men and women were each other's clothes. The Abbasid Empire, absorbing all the most conservative and self serving cultural practices of several Meditterean civillizations preceding it (including Byzantium, Mesopotamia, Greek Hellenism), arguably made women minorities within their own birth religion.

You touched upon this why many men refuse to question this curious interpretation, and that is their refusal to relinquish share holding of the power accorded to them by societal dominant voice. In other words, why would a man refute or dissent with interpretation (as wrongful as that interpretation may be) that codified his own patriarchical position within his marriage, household, community, country?
Patriarchy, like any unequal system, must be maintained through constant psychological as well as institutional vigilance.

Thus, the very action of a man breaking with this psychological (and literal) hegemony is to threaten the hegemony itself. As an example, a male relative was talking to a white colleague at work. During this conversation, the colleague casually referred to an African American colleague as a "n*****". This relative told the colleague that he could not continue the conversation and walked away. The relative in discussing this later was angered that the white colleague asked him to participate in, accept and approve of his racist speech. No doubt, the relative continued, in the future, he would be considered a "n***** lover" by the white colleague and those who agreed with the white colleague.

My observation is to point out how entrenched these pathologies can be and how they are policed by members of the dominating society. Any comments?

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Re: # 1
dear neembu...thank you for your generous thoughts. the first feminist i read was saadat hasan minto when he wrote...' every woman is not washaia (prostitute) but every washia has a woman inside her." he helped me see a washia as a woman and a woman as a human being. he also helped me see human beings in muslims and hindus when he wrote, 'why do you say hundred muslims went to heaven and hundred hindus will burn in hell. why do you not say we lost 200 precious human lives.' minto was the first feminist and humanist that inspired me. thanks again..sohail

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Thanks for this article-it's always so good to hear from feminist South Asian men!