Life Long Commitment vs. Singledom

Amazing amazing article!!!...you just voiced my thoughts...I also think "marriage is highly over rated"... and a note to all girls: Plz don make marriage the sole purpose of your existence...your life...open your eyes there is so much in the world out there

I agree!whole heartedly.
I firmly believe that we women are not born to be submissive and selfless beings. We are conditioned to become so;and those of us who dare to resist-god help them!
Marriage is considered the ultimate goal,but what about life after marriage?
Everyone wants you to give a rosy picture of your marital life.No matter how ugly things are,everyone says that its a compromise ,so cheer up. Almost all married women i know,miss having a life of their own.
In our culture,its the financial dependecy that leads to physical and emotional dependency. If the husband brings in the cheque,he will have the right to squash your dreams,ridicule your ambition ,humiliate your personality and the list goes on and on. We all know its a case of low self esteem,but that doesnt make the hurt and pain of being a pakistani married woman any less.
Hope you will stick to your resolution and will have fun and live your life fully.

Re: # 33; Sohail

your post #20 was beautiful; don't spoil it with unnecessary detail please

Re: # 32 ["... situation which makes women tolerate older man is insecurity and finances ..."]

Oh absolutely. No questions about it. Forget "insecurity" ... its basically finances.

But what is wrong about that when we are looking at it as a professional option that some uniquely gifted women adopt. I am saying that for many men in their first two decades of adulthood a certain amount of diversity of sexual exploration is a primal need that is healthy and positive to fulfill.


2["...Why would working girl not marry even younger..."]

Whoever said any thing about marriage? I was only talking about post-divorce trauma recovery and the free market options durring matrimonial interregums.

Cheers

...SR

Re: # 31

SR

'Few 39 year old men can resist the healing powers of a twenty something'

Thats ultimate fantasy of 'old' man
Why would working girl not marry even younger than her stud.
Only situation which makes women tolerate older man is insecurity and finances

Re: # 30 sattar ["... 2 weeks is an awfully short time; I hope not because you ran out of money. But it’s good to know you’ve moved on and things have sorta worked out ..."]

Two weeks can be very brief when you are only having fun. But two weeks of intense grief can be very hard to pass. I was fortunate to have friends who had the wisdom to know that nothing washes a man's grief better than a flood of life juices making a beast with two backs.

Few 39 year old men can resist the healing powers of a twenty something, elegent and well groomed beauty whose sweet whispers are softer than her smooth silky skin.

My heart has ever since had a soft corner for the truly professional working ladies. The good ones are actually 'therapists' in the real sense. They possess 'healing powers.' They are much maligned and wronged by society, yet they provide a very vital function in the maintainence of societal 'virtues.' I've known several, and I mean gotten to know personally (far beyond the client and service-provider role), 'working girls' who are some of the most brave, honest, generous and self-less human beings compared to many a bibi-jee of high society who had a black soul and the heart of a whore.

...SR

SR, kudos for your honest comments regarding a very personal matter. Such candid accounts … involving male insecurities and relationships on the rocks … are hard to come by. So kudos, once again.

… but must add … 2 weeks is an awfully short time; I hope not because you ran out of money. But it’s good to know you’ve moved on and things have sorta worked out …

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Kiran, marriage is essential.

Hitman

Re: # 23
"Who said documents were necessary"

The court says so.Marriage is a 'contract' with all its intricasies ,liberation ,peace of mind ,sacrifice intimidations ,ovwrwhelming ness, restrint ,trepidations...

If not why have birh certificates ,medicl records, police logs, car registrations, licenses

Whats wrong with you are willing to sand in que for hours at he airport ,intraffic jam ,reservations ...But

There is objective laws not making subjective rules according to your self as you go...???

Re: # 23
"Who said documents were necessary"

The court says so.Marriage is a 'contract' with all its intricasies ,liberation ,peace of mind ,sacrifice intimidations ,ovwrwhelming ness, restrint ,trepidations...

If not why have birh certificates ,medicl records, police logs, car registrations, licenses

Whats wrong with you are willing to sand in que for hours at he airport ,intraffic jam ,reservations ...But

There is objective laws not making subjective rules according to your self as you go...???

Kiran bibi,

if this is all from personal contemplation of the idea of marriage to 'one person' for the rest of your life, this is what I have to say:

....go with the flow girl! enjoy life; it is beautiful! If you do find someone right for you, don't start making plans for the hereafter.....enjoy the moment for what it is worth

and if you do decide to tie the knot, who cares where it goes. As long as one behaves like a responsible adult in a relationship......the rest doesn't matter one bit....if it works out for life, good for you.......if it doesn't, put it down to experience and move on

I wish you all the love and happiness; I'm sure you deserve every last bit of it!

che,

who said documents were necessary?

Theres time n place for everything..35 yr old single man or woman looking for company in a bar..is if nothing else sad, n wat about 45 or 55 or 65? there is no cookie cutter solution to this conondrum...singledom is awesome..n i m sure having a family is vastly fulfilling as well..for some neither r fun...so i think its about being comfertable with who u r...n selfishness is nothing to brag about..whether u r single or married..sharing is a good thing with whoever it is n watever it is

Re: # 20

SR, Rushdie grew sick of marriages, but only after his 4th. You have one more to go. Maybe you will then change your mind? HA HA HA