The Non-Existent Tourist’s Guide To Pakistan

Re: # 34; tahmed sahib

I see it HAS made you a bit defensive as well.....well you've been told sir...loud and clear!

Is Paracha sahib a dictator lover.....which one?

Re: # 32.....oye!! balley oye

zaat di kodh kidh-li, te shateeriyaan nu japphey!!

Nadeem Paracha {"The male-female ratio of the population is 50-50, even though, according to local traditions in the north, women do not exist. Only men and goats. Certain NGOs operating in the north want to change this perception and the locals have agreed only if the government of Pakistan declared women to be satanic abominations engineered by Hindu Fanatics, Christian Crusaders, Wily Jews and Hamid Karzai."}

Nadeem,
First of all, let me compliment you on some quite humorous and interesting passages. I did enjoy your witty and clever injection of satire - especially when you abruptly abandoned the continuity with disclaimers and used total nonsense as cover. Well done.

The only sensible man ever to be born with the name Hamid is our own Hamidumdum Sahib - Karzai is a foolish idiot bordering on totally gay appearance.

On the topic of NGOs, I have nothing against them except that I want most of them enslaved and then made to work long hours in Chinese massage parlors.

NFP

Welcome back, this was another NFP classic. Thanks

#32 i dont read this dictator-lover paracha's stupid articles. i am here just to keep hamidm cooking. at least hamidm can be funny when he is not bent out of shape by chowk morons like masadi.

what's that term.. now? aah right.. 'i'll take it, flaws and all'

oh my.. will you guys shut up!? it's always the same few arguing on all posts, worse than a bunch of 4 year olds. tut tut!

this article is hilarious, couldn't stop chuckling, but then in all honesty the north isnt all that bad as it's made out, it's peaceful! ;)
sigh, pakistan is home!

#30 "another book written by a self-hating white man named howard zinn"

how curious. Is masadi really unaware of the presence of a world reknowned self-hater on chowk itself compared to him zinn is perfectly sober?

After all, Zinn merely presents aspects of US history from the point of view of the underdogs in US history (namely, blacks slaves, european indentured servants, american indians, white women, and after industrialization, the factory workers).

Our resident self-hater doesnt waste time trying to stay real but has a simple solution to all problems - nuke villagers, kill minorities (exempting him of course, since his offspring were mistaken by a cop as being white, providing him the entire family so much joy!!).

That is self-hating!! Not this measly, factual stuff written by Zinn.

Re: # 28

anil mian,

..... mad massadi has read only three books : 'the book' written by a delirious man in a cave with the help of a winged angel ; another book written by some obscure white man named mills (i think he was the founder of mills and boon); and another book written by a self-hating white man named howard zinn who thinks mankind would be better off if america was run hy indians smoking pipes in tepees and chasing buffalo in their spare time ......

..... now, if those were the only three books that you had read, you too would end up as a blabbering idiot who should be locked up ..........

Re: # 19

Massaddi Mian:

"...bigot, history doesn't follow the contours of your bigotry..."

This applies to you so aptly.

Re: # 19

Massaddi Mian:

Calling me pervert won't win you the argument. You know what I have written is as factual as history can be.

Please learn to read history written by neutral sources, and not something invented in your mind.

(Editor's Note: the following segment was inadvertantly left out because NFP was in a hurry to turn in the piece before heading for the bathroom.)
----------------------

Entertainment:

The entertainment industry is mainly represented by the Khakis, the longest consistent performers world-renowned for their loud notes. Their “My big bang� (1998) received world-wide attention, along with other note-worthies like “Kargil and bust�, “Kashmir in my blood!�, and “Run away, my darlings!� The Politicos are a bit less popular but have to their credit “Next time, I’ll be there for you!� “Your wallet, my wallet�, and “Take your case and shove it!� The Beardos have gained recognition for such hits as “Allah loves you�, “Seventy one is not enough�, and “You made my Friday!�

Warm regards,
BJ2

Hilarious!!! Great work NFP.

Mast article. Thanks to the author for an amusing read.

Here is a video that I found interesting about slavery and misogyny in Pakistan:

http://youtube.com/watch?v=BJtOCs5crns
Nightmare Behind the Veil - Pakistan

NFP - this would have been cool 10/15 years back. You need to update parts of the guide. Lonely planet, and rough guide update their guides every 4 years or so.

(T)

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