The Non-Existent Tourist’s Guide To Pakistan

yet another relevant and timely quote:

"A few days ago, I was on the ferry heading towards Staten Island to visit a friend. There was this gentleman with white Muslim skullcap and flowing white beard perhaps in his late 50s or even early 60s who befriended me. He greeted me in Hindi/Urdu.
I told him in English that I don't speak HIndustani. He then asked me if I am not from India. I told him I am from Israel.
Huh...I am a Pakistani Muslim and Jews and Muslims are people of the book and we are brothers he said.

Brothers???...I think Hindus are your brothers. You and I are not brothers. Jews and Arabs may be....

I sensed he got a little offended and insisted that I am his brother on the account of my being a Jew and its Allah's words.

If Jews are brothers, why is it that so many Muslims want to kill my people I asked him.

Palestine he said. European Jews took away Muslim land. That is why. Islam is a religion of peace and the Quran instructs Muslims to fight in self defence.

That land was ours for thousands of years before Muslims came I said.

That land is Allah's and it is in the Quran. He them proceeded to quote from the Quran when I cut him short and said that I don't believe in any God or Allah.

No no you cannot do that. You will go to hell when you die he said.

I asked him how come he is sure of it.

Because it is in the Quran. You have to become a Muslim. Then you will go to heaven when you die.

What is so great about heaven?

It is a paradise that you cannot describe. It is an absolute paradise.

So every Muslim will go there?

Yes, every Muslim who follows the Quran and the Sunnah will go to Heaven when he dies.

So you have to die in order to go to heaven?

Yes. Every Muslim including those Sahids killed by your Israeli army will go to heaven.

I paused for a while and asked him....are you going to Heaven?

Yes InshaAllah I will be going to Heaven. I cannot wait to go to Heaven.

So why don't you die now? Why do you guys make all the noise when Israelis kill Palestinians? Are you not happy that the Palestinians are going to heaven?

He stopped. He said Tauba Tauba and some other things in Hindi. You know...I don't want to talk to you. You are a bad person. He then moved and sat far away from. Al the while mumbling in Hindi/Urdu.
"

Again relevant quote:

"For 1600 years, arabs conquered land from everybody as ordained by MO. That was 400% halal. Now kufr yahudis came and took away a MASSIVE 0.176% of the middle-east and the whole ummah has got their undies in a twist. This despite the fact that if the arabs had the military might to take over the world, they would not waste 1 femtosecond in marching out in full force to conquer/plunder all in the name of allah, MO, and his religion of peace.

So I personally don't give a damn about their pain and suffering. Infact, I think they deserve it and I derive great satisfaction from their so called misery and I'd like for them to be even more miserable.

[/rant]"

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anil writes "Islam and its believers did overtake..."

No you little pervert, Islam did not eliminate the indigineous populations, they "blended in" over time (around two centuries) after the conquests, unlike the European methodology in the setitler areas where they cleared the land of the indigeneous population were uninclusive unlike Muslims, and relegated the few lucky survivors to reservations, impoverished and hooked on alcohol....bigot, history doesn't follow the contours of your bigotry

Mulla Mandarji, Mulla Senna (Shekhar Mumbaikar),

We need to learn "real" history as you demand. We will because your highness commands. What kind of history? Following one? I am quoting someone here.

"There is hardly any patch on earth to which these people do not lay claim over one pretext or another. Last year I was exploring Taragarh fort that overlooks Ajmer town from atop a hill. This was the historical fort where Prithviraj Chauhan lived in a palace. It was occupied by Ghuri after he killed Chauhan. A terrible massacre of Hindus of Ajmer followed with the usual "religion of peace" offering of mass rapes, arson and capture of women as sex slaves.

The fort is reached via a narrow road that winds uphill to the fort entrance. When I reached the fort along with SHQ, I was shocked to see a full-fledged Muslim colony inside with lot of goats running around. There were many vehicles parked around carrying J&K number plates. There is apparently a Muslim "dargah" inside. I was curious. A dargah right inside Prithviraj Chauhan's fort? Since when?

The entire area looks scary with so many long-bearded Muslims around. Two Muslims followed our car all the way from the base of the hill to the fort entrance on a motorcycle. Watching them in my rear view mirror on that deserted road, I was quite nervous as to what is going on. When I reached the top, my wife was literally screaming at me to get the hell out of there before something nasty happens and we get mugged.

I U-turned the car, drove some distance and halted midway downhill where the BJP government has created a monument to Prithviraj Chauhan. There, feeling safer, I asked a Muslim guide loitering near by as to what was the white structure inside the fort on the hill top and what were so many Muslims doing there? Why is the fort not a national monument and why a Muslim colony has taken over the entire fort?

I was told by the Muslim -- who seemed to be a tourist guide waiting for tourists like us -- that the dargah was there even before Prithviraj's time and Prithviraj's father had offered a chaddar on the mazaar. I found this laughable, but I was curious. So I did some research as to who the dude really was and how his dargah came to be right in the patch where Prithviraj's residential palace should have been.

I found out that he was actually Mohammad Ghuri's military commander who took over the fort and started living in Prithviraj's palace. Once his entire garrison had left the fort to go to the countryside collecting taxes from the peasants. Prithviraj's brother Hari Raj saw his chance to avenge the loss of his kingdom and death of Prithviraj and Samyukta. He along with a small band of trusted men struck in the night in a guerrila raid and slaughtered everyone inside, including Ghuri's commander. Then Hari Raj quitely dissappeared to his own kingdom of Ranthambhore. It is this military commandar's grave that has now become the "dargah of revered saint."

The Muslims are very concious of the significance of the fort (but the Hindus are ignorant of their own history). This fort was the first city they captured in Hindustan and they are sitting there deliberately even today, refusing to move out. If the government as much as tries to erect a statue of Prithviraj inside the fort, they are ready to riot. It is a hopeless situation.

Anyway, I asked this Muslim guide about why the Muslims are sitting inside the fort when it is a Hindu structure and why have they monopolised the entire area? He said that the fort has always belonged to them. I said but there were no Muslims in India before the arrival of invader Ghuri. The man got angry. "We have 64 thousand prophets that Allah sent before Mohammad," he said. "And two were from India. Our prophets were in India even before the Hindus and we have more right to the country than them." Disgusted and amazed by the explanation, I just left him standing there and drove away. Take any patch of land on this earth, and Muslims have a story to stake claim to it."

This is happening in India, one can only guess what might be happening in Pakistan?

If Islam does not reform and Muslims do not change then it will be everyone's dharma to exterminate it.

Nadeem:
Loved your sense of humor! IMOU!

[[This is because the common people choose to remain illiterate and prefer to watch a Sharhrukh Khan flick instead of reading their official history books that clearly state that had Mughal Emperor Auranzeb Alamgir created Pakistan in 1747]]

Overall a well-written article; I especially liked the selection above and the bit about descent from Aryans and Mr Qasim!!.........one HAS to get past this denial....

....unfortunately any such efforts of 'humorising' what is indeed a dire situation is taken to mean "traitor-ship" by some, who have their heads firmly embedded under tonnes of sand

Paracha Sahib. Very pungently funny. It will be nice to see more of stuff like this on Chowk than the boring social and political commentary that takes up 80% of space.

Wonderful article Nadeem. In addition to being funny, this article shows a great amount of introspection and self-criticism. Something sorely lacking in south asia. People seem to prefer to blame the CIA, RAW, ISI, and god knows who else for their problems. Suicide bombings in Pakistan? It must be those dastardly Indians allying themselves with the jihadis to screw us over. Anything to avoid "humiliation".

"I much prefer the sharpest criticism of a single intelligent man to the thoughtless approval of the masses."-- Johannes Kepler

i wonder why the well paid blaggers arn't blagging here it's quite funny.

NFP,

Just two words on this writing: SIMPLY BRILLIANT!

Glad to note that you were at KGS too..

Ras

Massaddi Mian:

Islam and its believers did overtake. Conqueroring of Iran and Sapin are examples. India was a different game. Richer and vast with religion that was not institutionalized around single book, single messenger and single God. In Spain christians revived, Iran Zorashtrains could not. They were isolated and persecuted.

Please get your lessons on history from some impartial sources.

Moron, the take note, if you can read that is, was for Chowk Staff not for you, unless you happen to be one of those miserable staff members.

Your so-called proof of identity loss (highlighted) using "Muslim names" is quite pathetic, nowhere is there a recommendation for the new convert to change his name, social precident where a minority within a larger group wants to seperate itself for the purpose of identity results in such name changes, further you haven't even studied regional variation among Muslim names or taken a sample of any group where ethnic/regional influences have vanished from names just because of conversion to Islam

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Chowk staff take note

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