Let Me Count the Ways I Love You

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Sorry the Muslim Family laws was enacted in 1961 and not in 1963.

When someone does not have knowledge, he would resort to abuses.
The laws were made in 1963 and in Urdu they are called Ailli Qawaneen or the family laws.

You certainly have no clue abt Pakistan and what goes on there.
A little google search would always help the ignorants.
http://www.vakilno1.com/saarclaw/pakistan/muslim_family_laws_ordinan ce.htm

Here is the section about Polygamy.
Get some education The fake diploma from LSE does not diminish your ignorance.

6. Polygamy.
(1) No man, during the subsistence of an existing marriage, shall except with the previous permission in writing of the Arbitration Council, contract another marriage, nor shall any such marriage contracted without such permission be registered under this Ordinance.

(2) An application for permission under Sub-section (1) shall be submitted to the Chairman in the prescribed manner together with the prescribed fee, and shall state reasons for the proposed marriage, and whether the consent of existing wife or wives has been obtained thereto.

(3) On receipt of the application under Sub-section (3), Chairman shall ask the applicant and his existing wife or wives each to nominate a representative, and the Arbitration Council so constituted may, if satisfied that the proposed marriage is necessary and just, grant, subject to such condition if any, as may be deemed fit, the permission applied for.

(4) In deciding the application the Arbitration Council shall record its reasons for the decision and any party may, in the prescribed manner, within the prescribed period, and on payment of the prescribed fee, prefer an application for revision, to the Collector concerned and his decision shall be final and shall not be called in question in any Court.

(5) Any man who contracts another marriage without the permission of the Arbitration Council shall,

(a) pay immediately the entire amount of the dower whether prompt or deferred, due to the existing wife or wives, which amount, if not so paid, shall be recoverable as arrears of land revenue; and

(b) on conviction upon complaint be punishable with the simple imprisonment which may extend to one year, or with fine which may extend to five thousand rupees, or with both.

Pakistani laws restricts polygamy? Hello? Where and when? When was the last time you saw a copy of Pakistani legal code? You are a joke Hasho and a pretty stupid one for that matter. This discussion is way beyond your panache.

It is hard for a woman in the rural society in Pakistan to remain unmarried. On top of that, MM has plenty of money. I am sure she had plenty of suitors. She is an adult and after the horrific experience she went through, she in her best interest made the decision to marry someone who is already married. Though after the experience she went through, she needed to be more circumspect and should have thought about the other woman's (His first wife) situation.

There is no reason to begrudge her. Living in NY is not a license to discuss someone's personal situation and also that MM is not a public figure. She was a victim and her private life should remain only her business.

Polygamy is not a major problem anywhere in the world. It is all about money. 80% of the Pakistani men barely provide for one family and can't afford to have another family. Changing laws for a mere 5% of the men that have the ability to support another family is a bad practice. We need laws that help the majority of the people.

Sounds like the author barely has any knowledge about the country, Pakistan already has laws that restrict polygamy. The law should be enforced but wasting money on policing a small minority is just plain ridiculous.

Re: # 39

Anilji, saying that MM entered into that "marriage" willingly is like saying that Shah Bano withdrew her court case out of her own free will.

BJ2:

Don't you think that subjugation would be if MM was forced into this marriage?

I think Islamic view of polygamy is similar to that of violence - best avoided, but may be needed under dire circumstances. Yes, there inevitably would be some abuse … but banning it altogether may not be wise either.

Arguably, violence and survival instincts have played some role in human evolution. Islam (and religion in general) aims to uproot senseless violence … while allowing one to pick up arms in defense when all other options have been exhausted. Same applies to polygamy, in my view …

Kul (#34), an obvious issue is that of women outnumbering men … esp. in times of war. I don’t see polygamy necessarily as a macho issue, but that of providing family life and care for women in a manner that Islam deems proper and respectable. It requires maturity and a lot of responsibility, and not just quick sex, for the husband.

Now, you may argue that Islamic view is too idealistic (or idiotic) and not practical. But that may be a different discussion …

Lustful men in backward societies very well may exploit polygamy … but that alone should not be the reason to ban polygamy. E.g., zamindar you mentioned may also exploit government schemes and bank loans aimed at helping the farming community … but that alone should not be the reason to ban such schemes. I hope you see the parallel.

Re: # 36

Tauheed sahib, Marriage of the MM type (marriage, Pakistani style) is simply a subjugation of the woman.

(1) MM had no suitors -- except this one man who was already married. Clearly, her earlier ordeal had stigmatized her permanently in that society.

(2) She married this man without the element of love. It was a travesty of marriage. It should not even be called a marriage -- merely a one-sided accommodation.

(3) He threatened to divorce the first wife. It was not only cruel for that wife, it was clearly a form of emotional blackmail of the MM -- to which she clearly succumbed!

In view of all of the above facts, if you still consider MM "empowered", clearly you have no clue what an empowered woman is supposed to be able to do.

#31 BJ2: and you are merely making negative assumptions, ignoring the facts - like a good chowk Indian.
mm is doing well financially and is very much in control of her life - choosing to live in her village and run a school. the police officer was assigned to protect her, and had been asking for marriage the past couple of years. true - he is already married. and she has chosen to continue to live in her village while the policeman is welcome to visit her - but he will continue to live with his first wife.

if mukhtaran mai had asked my advice (which she didnt), i would perhaps have advised her against marrying a man who already has a wife. but as jesus said, before casting judgement on someone else, walk a mile in his shoes!!

also, unlike you, i dont have to pick on this one straw of her being a second wife to condemn her - because not being indian, i dont have this need to find fault in pakistanis. perhaps the marriage will turn out to be a successful manaage e trois, perhaps it will not. but you are in no position to condemn it. unless you tell me that in hindu society rape victims have no trouble finding a husband. i am familiar with the primitive "values" of even "educated" indians.

BJ2 #31: Look at the bright side. If Mukhtaran Mai had been in India, that would not have been news since Indian babus are all busy looking for bad news from Pakistan. Ask Jay Thakeray if you dont believe me.

Regards. My understanding is that Islam restricted the number of wives to 4 at a time. Polygamy was practiced in all parts of the world much before then. And why do widows have to “find� married men? Why can’t widows or other unmarried women find other unmarried and widowed men? Today’s practice of polygamy is much different than that of the past, and today it is only practiced in backwards parts of the world by lustful immoral men. Care can be provided without marrying someone, and women should not be subjected to this obvious discrimination in macho societies. I cannot tell you how many times I hear about some 60 year old Zimindar in our village bringing home a 14 year old as his 3rd bride. Religion and cultural idiosyncrasies are only used as an excuse. A Muslim man, woman, widowed, can live in a monogamous union in all western countries, I am sure it is possible to live in similar unions in Saudi Arabia, Pakistan, India. Gay sex is not harmful to anyone, but polygamy is.

Polygamy in Islam was introduced initially to enable widowed women find shelter. In Hinduism, Krishna married several thousdand women because they were found enslaved by one villain, Jarasandh, he defeated and had nowhere to go. It gave them resepctability.

Just imagine that situation exists in todays society. Not in normally established families but in broken families. What is the answer? Should some woman or for that matter a man, handicapped, is left uncared for, not only for food and shelter but for emotional balance also?

Also imagine the two women or the two men get along as great friends and accept to share one man or woman. There are multiple cases of that too.

By outlawing all polygamous and polyandrous relationships, such families which are pulling together shattered lives will be further stigmatized by the pontiffs of 'Norms'.

NO FEROZ, I VIOLENTLY OPPOSE LEGISLATING PERSONAL LIVES AND ATTITUDES. Tomorrow you'll ask gays and extramerital sex outlawed.

NOOOOOOO.

B2J Sahib, Polygamy is not widespread in Pakistan. The discussion should be about outlawing it. While it may not be widespread amongst Indian Muslims either, India should outlaw it too. I think viewing it from gender inequality perspective is only one way of looking at this issue. There are tons of other reasons. Gender inequality is commonplace even in the absence of polygamy. Japan is one example.

Mai has come a cropper -- and is now the SECOND wife of a noname somebody who she did NOT marry for love. The circumstances under which she humiliated herself to such degradation (and did great damage to the positive image which existed) speaks volumes about the low, low status of women in that society. It is understandable that Pakistani society would promote polygamy -- since the value of a woman is so little. It is the height of hypocrisy (and wishful thinking) to see Mai as "empowered"!