When Will You Return?

nice translation.gratifying end though along the line one cannot help thinking is there anything like obsessive questionings? and are these unconsciously designed to produce an haunting effect on one' s partner?

oye sohale yaar, koi artifitial insimination klinic nal rabta shabta nai keeta tu;

Re: # 42

Dear Mr. Sohail,

I am glad you recognise that ( theoretically at least ) psychotherapists need psychotherapists! But recognising is different from actually practicing.

Unfortunately, you have this attitude of being righteous. This attitude does no good to anyone at all. EVERYONE wants to be 'right'. But this is no ones MONOPOLY.

As far as my memory goes, you did say you 'look after' 2 girls(?). I assumed they were your daughters, though you may want to clarify this issue.

Finally, I would like to be frank with you on this : Being a psychot, does not give any psychot, the rights to advice other human beings on what 'humanity' really is. This only makes them appear egoistic, since no one can really claim a monopoly on the truth.

And finally, I would repeat my earlier statement : most of the anti-male culprits fall in either of the two categories - older males ( with a mind culture of the 60s and 70s ) and males with daughters ( natural biases of a guardian ). The worst offenders of course, deny this too.

And the worst offenders are males ( being natural androphobics ). And of course, counsellors ( and psychotherapists ) who deny their anti-male attitudes at best, or deny the very existence of androphobia at worst.

Re: # 41
dear mr parthaab...I am so glad that we are having an open, honest and sincere dialogue. I am pleased that you recognize that I was not provoked my your comments.(I am curious though why you try to be provocative?)I am also curious why you assumed that I have two daughters?
You still feel that I am biased and you would like me to be unbiased. I value your noble sentiments. I think all human beings have some bias as nobody is perfect. I am not perfect either. But I try to keep an open mind. Let me share with you my philosophy.
As a Humanist I am of the opinion that
...all human beings are unique and special
...there are as many truths as human beings and as many points of view as pairs of eyes in the world
...all human beings need to be treated with respect
...all human beings need to have equal rights and privileges in a country and community.
Do you think this is a biased philosophy? If you think it is please enlighten me with your philosophy that is unbiased. I am a student of life and I am open to learn more.
sincerely
sohail

Re: # 40

Dear Mr. Sohail,

It is an unfortunate fact of life, that most androphobics do not even consider themselves to be one. This is because male-hatred is IN BUILT into our system - indeed our conscience.

The worst offenders are males ( being natural androphobics ). And of course, counsellors ( and psychotherapists ) who deny their anti-male attitudes at best, or deny the very existence of androphobia at worst.

And most of the culprits fall in either of the two categories - older males ( with a mind culture of the 60s and 70s ) and males with daughters ( natural biases of a guardian ). The worst offenders of course, deny this too.

I your case though, I must appreciate your willingness not to be provoked. But I would have genuinely appreciated it if you were also willing to be unbiased.

Re: # 39
dear parthaab...i find your comments quite amusing. i just want to clarify that i do not have any daughters. i love children but i chose not to have any children of my own. there are already millions in the world. do you have any children? how many and how old? as far as my profession i did my MBBS in Pakistan and FRCP in Canada to become a psychiatrist and now practice as a therapist in my Creative Psychotherapy Clinic in Canada. If you ever visit Toronto you are more than welcome for a cup of tea as i find your ideas quite entertaining. i respect men as well as women and believe in loving and just relationships. what gave you the idea that i am an androphobe?
sincerely
sohail

Re: # 38

Sohail,

Are you a mental therapist and not a 'mere' counsellor ( thats what your CV says ) anymore?

MOST male androphobics (including counsellors like yourself ), fall into two categories - the older males, and those with daughters. And should NOT be using the word 'therapist' at all.

Re: # 36
dear anil v...if you do not feel comfortable sharing your secret of a happy marriage on chowk, you are more than welcome to send me a personal email at my address
welcome@drsohail.com
as a marital therapist i am very much interested in your ideas.
sincerely
sohail

Re: # 30

You seem to be entertaining a number of fantasies about divorces. There are too many facts that need to be publicised. For eg. divorce rates are skyrocketting and evidence shows that most are initiated by wives- and much of this is induced by the alimony ( YET ANOTHER abuse of male rights ).

Firstly, Much of this is inspired by the MEDIA, which. ( like chowk ). does not allow 'pro'-male articles to be written ( unlike the encouragement for even figments of imagination that favour the women as a gender )

How about... not getting married at all?

Since those women are so capable, earning a decent income, they can jolly well be the strong, independent women they proclaim themselves to be and don't marry.

Or is it ultimately about control? Just want a man to direct your naggings at? A pussified, low-earner, house husband to lord over 24/7?

Count me out. I'm going my own way. There are easier, cheaper ways to get sex, and marriage is not one of them. If I don't need marriage for sex, I don't need marriage at all.

And that's exactly what very many of them are doing. Marriage rates are plummeting, due primarily to women's independence from men, financial and otherwise.

Both men and women know that marriage is a bad proposition today. For women, because it's hard to find high earners relative to them. For men, because if they are a high earner, their assets will be stripped by Woman and State in Divorce.

The real "marriage strike" is that started by feminists in the 1960s when they told us "destruction of marriage is the prime goal of our movement" and when they said that career and independence trumps all.

SICK OF THE MALE BASHING BY THE MEDIA? SAY 'NO' TO THE SILENCE!

WAKE UP, MALES! SPEAK UP!

Re # 14
Dear Dr Sohail... I have some recipes for a happy married life. But I am afraid to share them on a public forum like Chowk, because so much fighting is already going on Chowk, I do not want the situation to deteriorate further. We can however discuss anything through the message center. Regards.
Anilv

#33
Good one sky.

this is a good story - a good description of the miserable boredom of monogamy.

This story inspired me to write a fictitious viewpoint from the wife.


Sometimes I wonder if he regrets marrying me. Our lives have become so routine, and so bloody civil.
I knew when I married him that he wasn’t big on conversation, but lately it’s even worse. It’s practically non-existent. My day begins, and I wake up before him. I press his clothes for work and place them on the bed. I steep his morning tea, keeping it hot on the stove while he does his morning rituals. He joins me in the kitchen and I start preparing his breakfast. “Good morning”, I say to him. Without even looking up from his newspaper, he replies, “Morning”, and takes a sip of his tea. The morning silence is so sterile. He finishes his breakfast and I ask him, “Did you have enough”? “Yes”, he replies, pushing his chair away from the table. He walks out to the hall closet and puts on his sweater. I follow behind him carrying his packed lunch. Funny how he never asks what’s inside it. Does he not have a preference? Grabbing his car keys in one hand, and his briefcase in the other, he juggles the lunch I hand to him. “Have a good day”, I say to him, “Yep”, is his response. “Are you coming straight home from work?”, I ask him. My question seems to perturb him. He looks up at the ceiling and takes in a long deep breath. After a short, forced exhale, he retorts, “Yes”, and walks out the door. Once again, I watch as he drives off for the day. I have a sinking feeling inside of me. And I ask myself if he still loves me. But do I really want to know the answer? I shutter at the possibility, and shake it off. Are all men the same, or is it just him? Maybe it’s me, I don’t know… I busy myself performing the acts of a dutiful wife. Not that I resent any of it. I enjoy being a wife, and there was a time I enjoyed being HIS wife. But lately I feel so unappreciated. Sometimes I feel I must justify my mere existence to him. I clean the kitchen, make the bed, hand wash some soiled linen, and plan the supper menu. We live in a desolate place. I have no friends, no family, and no neighbors. We don’t have a television or radio. And my only outing is when he takes me to the market for food supplies. I have read the newspaper he left behind, and I escape into my books. They take me places that I can only dream about. The time has quickly passed, and I must start preparing for the evening meal. Really, it doesn’t matter what I cook, because he never comments either way. Still, I take pride in what I do, and I make his meal with love. As I wash the vegetables, I wonder how his day is going. I wonder what he talks about with people away from home. Do they talk about worldly matters. I wish he would share his experiences with me. It would make me feel a part of him and help me feel a part of the world. But when I ask him questions, he becomes agitated with me. So, I’ve learned not to say much and don’t ask many questions. I wish he would talk to me. I wish he would look at me, instead of looking past me. I wish he would compliment me sometimes. I wish he would show me some affection. Every night I sit and wait patiently for him, hoping to see a little change in him. Even just a smile. Perhaps tonight will be the night.

Parthbabu you need to tighten belts and hold tight. Women are not getting aggressive just slightly assertive it start after long sociatal oppression where they were forced to hide themselves or suffocation dreasses. If you find ithis hard time wait when women become aggressive like men and eat woman haters raaw. Good luck bye

Re: # 29
Skeptical you seems indians as just want to trouble fellow man. You people are just trouble to us and why you people not make your little indian group and eat rice and warm water. Parth is trouble maker here in Pakistan, and already women are taking all crap and with theories of Partha men will start violence in addition to ttp. To understand all is to forgive all.I have respects to bengali people though dark they are brainy people compared punjabis, so we do not want to in their company so .
No you need to understand man is fightening for loosing cause like Don Quioze or something who attacked windmills riding on his horse.
Now man is not ikind by nature , mean abnoxious creature of habit with strange looking feature of beard , its evolutionally useless. In that man is if deprived sex from his prime days is very hard. Now normal people do not think much of sex its like air, when you have sufficient you do not value air and sex and without that you are dead.Parthasahib need some smooth narturing hope some woman will ask him , put jhand on his back and say how are you? are you all right, can I help you?. Now the way he is consumed by hatred even females cats and dogs will be fightened by him. I have some picture of angry, bearded,wild haired , dark ugly creature of habit and all agitated. But he can be handsome also but its hard for women to be affectionate as he is angry man, he does not talk but shout all time.

now that man thinks wrong like some women think man as just work horse same way some feel women as all sex is totally wrong. Sex can have intensity but it is not 24 hours. Women are sex affectionate wife for 15 minutes for short time but over 90% of time women are nurturers , daughter, mother, grand mothers and they keep world turning. They make more sacrafices than men for family. Its not easy , women cry many times, its not easy.When I was young teen ager i saw mother crying , i asked why she does this, she stopped and said oh we women cry do not worry. It took next 30 years to understand what she said. They are prepared for all sacrafice from childhood, a doll is given to them at age for to care that is all begining of service. They prepare one day to live all life just to follow man , change family name without hitch. Most women when they marry they are dead , they have no mother, father, brother every thing is dead only husband, they do not talk but when time comes they just cross tthat bridge nonchalantly. How many men will do that ? They just clutch to past women just breeze through these things.

Any way Partha can talk this Kalid sahib or your Indian mental doctor Shankar and he had sageous suggestions about dosage in general terms.
Boy he needs to talk to consular and with some medicine he can calm down and be happy.
I ask allah to help Parthbabu.

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