Crazy about my beloved Barbara

loved it...:) Couldnt stop reading until the post script came.
Brilliant!!!

Just came across this - maybe nine months too late - but wanted to add my two cents. I liked the story a lot - it`s very similar to one written by Jeffrey Archer in his collection of short stories, ``A Twist in the Tale.`` Except that one`s about a cat. I`d recommend it highly to anyone - although now perhaps that you know the twist it`ll be less entertaining. But anyhow, the entire collection of stories is worth reading. Truly twisted.

Re:sohail

read the last sentence as ``...not toned down version`` :)

sabrina.

Re:Sohail

My body cries for the bed that it deserves tonight yet my mind is still active. Truly this Chowk thing has gotten me hooked! And with writers such as you about, man, I`ll be well entertained at times like these;)

This was good. I enjoyed the build-up with all the guessings. What sort of man he was etc? What sort of guy lets himself become this willing slave to this woman in his warped obession? I love the way it lets the imagination of the reader go. Someway down, I kind of figured it would be one of those ``with the twist`` thing. I had done somewhat the same with a cat ages ago when I was 16, though hell lot more innocent sounding, mine was. If you did not add your personal words at the end...Hmm.

It would have been nice to have read the unedited
and toned down version.

sabrina.

Re: Anita and Asim

Thank you for your encouraging words. The Chowk staff had the good sense to edit some portions of the language. Actually, my first draft was a little more graphic, though perhaps less tasteful. But I watered it down. Then the Chowk Staff did a little more polishing and made it a PG rated article, which in hindsight, I myself should have had the sense to do.

Anyway, I had fun writing it and am glad you enjoyed the reading. More later...

...SR

RE : SR

It was simply awesome and hilarious. loved the anecdote, the characters(inclusive of the dog), the imagery, and the impeccable selection of words.... vividly done, and pulled off with perfection.

It was a jolly good read, and a welcome break away from hectic debates and stuff here.

Any other masterpieces in the pipeline?

asim

Sohail,

Great story. Loved its allegorical aspects, also evidenced in the replies.

Anita

Re: BG

(“...its true the unimaginative and weak-willed survive because of their pack, while the solitary cats have to make it on their own!...”)

I witnessed this first hand in Prague where I went for a few months to celebrate my new freedom after quitting the Monday to Friday, 9 to 5 lifestyle. The velvet revolution was a recent event and Valclav Havel (the poet-dissident turned head-of-state), epitomized the spirit of a people who were, traditionally, free thinking and independent minded.

In those early months I saw the “pack hunters” invade the market place and elbow out the local independents. The triumph of capitalism was ensured as the metallic tentacles of “Gobble & Engulf International, Inc.” curled around the throats of small entrepreneurs. The high priests of the new religion came over in droves, wearing their pin-stripped gray suits and Bally shoes they carried their Gucci brief cases and they took over Kafka’s hometown in an Orwellian coup de grace, Havel’s poetic idealism notwithstanding.


Re: Farouq Taj

(“...when reading it I assumed it was real. Perhaps we should indicate whether items are fact or fiction ?...”)

In fiction one strives to touch one’s reader and evoke feelings. The aim is to “carry the reader” with the narrative. If it was credible then I am glad because that was the aim. We can only write by drawing upon our experience and imagination for the subject matter. Thus fact and fiction become inextricably intertwined.

Mr. Shah, for example, was actually a friend of my father’s whose British wife (aunt Judy) spoke fluent Urdu (albeit with a thick accent) and made Lahore her home for almost twenty years. Mrs. Shah moved back to East Anglia after her husband’s death. They had two sons (no girls) one of whom was my classmate. We’ve completely lost touch. Rex was our dog when I was growing up. The only Barbara I ever knew was a second degree black belt who’d toss me across the floor like a rag doll back when I used to take aikido twice a week. She did have a dog (whom I never saw) and supposedly she took him to the park.

All these disconnected components gel together in the imagination and then BG provides the idea of a two-part piece and thus I end up writing this story.

(“... it is considered haram to keep a dog ! Me I prefer cats !...”)

My understanding is that dogs are considered “peleet” (unclean) and not “haram”. I think much of the cultural prejudice against dogs come from the entrenched fear of rabies, as the urban canine has been a rabies carrier through the ages. Traditionally the dog has been a working animal, earning its keep as a perimeter guard. It is a relatively recent (Western) phenomena to have dogs as house pets. Third World immigrants living in the West typically take two generations to westernize to the point where household dogs are not taboo. Also, dogs are high maintenance pets, they require a lot of time and attention.

They say when you call a dog, it answers at once. But when you call a cat, it takes down your message and gets back to you at its conveneince.

...SR

Sohail,

Love your cat/dog analogy. It resonates with the almost fanatic devotion I have for cats. And, yes, you have said it - it`s their fierce independence and individualism I love and respect. Too many people I know are put off by cats because they are not as dependent and approval seeking as dogs. But, coming back to the analogy: its true the unimaginative and weak-willed survive because of their pack, while the solitary cats have to make it on their own!

My gratitude goes to readers who posted kind and encouraging words. I wished to target the readers’ gut, not their head.

Re: Tahnoon Pasha

(“...Neither Dougal nor Estelle, (desert mutt and cocker respectively) have shown any inclination to use friends clothing as lavatories...”)

Thank (the) God(s) for that. Doggie dodo is not the best fragrance to have in one’s living quarters. :)

Re: Wasiq

(“...dogs are men`s best friends? Because they think alike...”)

Actually, yes, many men are like dogs. Some are like cats. Both are predators, as is man.

Dogs can be loyal and disciplined. Individually, they can be quite immature and vulnerable because on the whole they are a pretty co-dependent and unimaginative lot. In a group, however, they are formidible and take on a completely different personality. They are pack hunters and function best in a strictly hierarchical set up with clear cut pecking order.

Cats, on the other hand, are solitary hunter. Not too disciplined and very independent and self sufficient. One on one most cats can out wit most dogs. However, the pack is far stronger and more viscous.

In contemporary human society I see “pack hunters” among the droves of gray suit clad corporate cogs that run the wheels of the modern economy. Those I call, the dog people. Then there are those who have struck out on their own, and for better or for worse, chart their solo course through life. In this day and age their “habitat” is shrinking as are their numbers. Those are the cat people.

Re: Ardeshir Minwalla

(“...Things finally came to a head, and an ultimatum delivered. Humphrey stayed with me for another 6 years. I don`t know what happened to the girlfriend...Maybe Humphrey wasn`t so dumb!...”)

Thank you, indeed, for sharing your personal story. It was generous and open hearted of you to do so. This was part of my intent to loosen up people so we can be (for those who opt to) cyber-pals and for a closer community.

Re: BG

(“... stories, both of them...”)

Thank you for appreciating that it was a two-layered roulage. I have to give credit where credit is due: to you. I actually stole the structural idea from the two-tiered piece you wrote where the first half was a monologue and the second a commentary.

I modified that structure and coupled two pieces of fiction. The POSTSCRIPT was supposed to only mimic a commentary and boost the credibility of the monologue. There is, of course, no Barbara in real life, and Rex was our German Shepherd when I was a little boy. :)

(“...Why is that so? You meet or re-meet wonderful people, make a connection and then lose touch because of distance or `work`?...”)

Most adulthood relationships are essentially like two passing caravans that meet at the crossroads of life. They exchange gifts and go on their diverging paths past the horizon. Some of those gifts are cherished for life.

Re: MAK
(“...So let me ask a question now. Assume an attractive girl strolling holding hand with her boyfriend and German Shepherd in another hand who you`d think a `rival`? the boyfriend or the Shepherd or would make no difference...”)

I don’t quite know how to answer that one. At my stage in life perspectives are not as testosterone driven as they once were.

But let me give it another twist here. The feelings that Barbara’s dog experiences are not too dissimilar to those of a passive (human) companion in an abusive and dysfunctional relationship.

...SR

Very impressive and expressive. I relished the succinet sentences and enjoyed alot. So let me ask a question now. Assume an attractive girl strolling holding hand with her boyfriend and German Shepherd in another hand who you`d think a `rival`? the boyfriend or the Shepherd or would make no difference ;)

Great story, SR! Actually, great stories, both of them.

Incidentally, love dogs, but certainly a cat person myself!

Why is that so? You meet or re-meet wonderful people, make a connection and then lose touch because of distance or `work`?

Urstruly,

Just out of curiosity - do you still remember the phrase you were asked to repeat?

I studied at KU myself… and lived around that area for many many years. In mid 1980’s, when ethnic madness was at its peak, these hoodlums murdered our sabzi wala right outside our home. He was from Hazara, and we grew up watching him deliver vegetables to our neighborhood. They slashed his throat with a knife and took his gullak - perhaps as a souvenir for killing their enemy…. He was still alive when I got to him…I can never forget his face – the blood that was gushing out of his throat, the shakes of his body just before he died…It was an experience which left me completely disillusioned about everything in life. Later on, his brother came from his mulk, and told us that he had a family back in hazara (three kids and a wife) dependent on his income…and of course, they must have loved him very much… I wish it were the kind-hearted eunuch, you mentioned in your earlier post, running the country at that time instead of Murd-e-moomin Murd-e-Haq.

Is this why dogs are men`s best friends? Because they think alike :)

Very funny story, bravo!

Brilliant Sohail! Saw it coming but was too busy laughing to notice.

FWIW, German Sheperds are notoriously possessive dogs. Neither Dougal nor Estelle, (desert mutt and cocker respectively) have shown any inclination to use friends clothing as lavatories.

Thank you for a wonderful story.

Tahnoon