Daddy’s Girl

Somewhat erratic start, solid follow up and
a superb ending. This writing showed the
sensitivity that the topic deserved. Many people
can relate to this subject matter.
Good job.

Ras

Bina:

Anguish, as it is felt, felt in the guts, exposed to air, breathes, learns to breath and rises above other baser sentiments, rises to be frozen into words.

Words.Beautiful words that can decipher, elucidate, contain, elaborate, freeze, and sustain.

Your words convey your loss. It is a good effort but you should look over it another time. Have just re-read it again and am left with the same feeling. Powerful but jarrings. Some edges need to be tended. Smoothened.

Also, personally I found the line ``I gave you immortality`` a bit too ostentatious

regards.