Glass

``You are a Paki, 19 & trying``, trying to what ? Write ? Empathize ? Well, you can write. As for empathy, i hope the object of your piece was not a public apology for your own shortcomings, but a chastisement of ours!

July 27, 1993 was the day my father died. I had a call from my brother, the day before, saying that dad had a stroke. His last wish was to see me. He never did, because I was in States and that is a pain which I will carry forever in my heart knowing that I disapointed my dad on his death bed. I see my dad in my dreams now and he tells me that he understands, but the pain still remains and the tears still choke me every time I think of that day.

After reading the article, I tried to stay away, but a surge of emotions kept pulling me back to it. All I can ask for is Allah`s mercy on me, a poor fool. There is nothing else I can do to balm the anguish of my pain and the embers of it still burn within my heart and reading the article rekindled them once again....

A very good effort. Hope to see more from you.

For a 19 year old you are very good. Apparently from a privileged environment, your whole life is ahead of you. Now, would you step on the gas pedal and let Pakistan churn the way it does, or you are going to step outside of your air-conditioned, clear-as-a-reality glass surroundings and do something about that unfortunate leper country?

Beautiful !!! Very well written.

It amazes me how we persuade ourselves to believe that the grim realities of today do not exist. This article I think proves a very strong point. Thanx for trying.

Zed,

While I really liked your piece, I appreciated your comment at the end the most...the fact that you are trying. What always saddens me deeply is the apathy I see in people when confronted with these unfortunate souls. I`ve always wondered why nowone looks them in the eye...like they would any normal person.

When I see a homeless person in the big city I live in, I wonder about that person`s life. The question comes up in my mind as to what circumstances brought them to their present state. To keep from crossing the fine line between sympathy and pity, I smile at them...and sometimes buy what they sell. But most of all, I thank God for what I have. And a nagging feeling inside of me vows to make a difference in the lives of those less fortunate.

On a tangential yet related note, is kidnapping and mangling of children, etc. still prevalent in Pakistan? I had heard of the racket many many years ago, but I was wondering if anything has changed.

Futema

No, this is good, this is honest stuff. You`re not shy about describing the ugliness of this moment. A poet needs that kind of honesty.

I only wonder about the word ``enchanted``. It seems to carry positive connotations whereas what you`re ``enchanted`` by seems pretty horrid stuff.

Even if you hadn`t written that you were Pakistani and 19, I`d still say this is a great poem.

B.

At the age of 19 you are doing much more then
trying. You have succeeded in putting together
quite a poetic expression here.

Ras

A tale of everyday reality movingly told.

Everyday to work, I pass by a man on the street begging for quarters. I pretend that I do not see him. I stare into the distence ahead, but the ugliness of the world creeps in through the window of my eyes. It shames me to walk past him and I always lower my eyes, because if I look at him, I see in his eyes a question: what separtes you from me ?

Nothing, and that is what really frightens me !

Zed:

Don`t ever give up trying. I see promises in you.

Ralph Waldo Emerson in an address on ``Literary Ethics`` said this in June,1837:

``You will hear everyday the maxims of a low prudence. You will hear that the first duty is to get land and money, place and name. `What is this Truth you seek? What is this Beauty?` men will ask with derison. If nevertheless God s have called any of you to explore truth and beauty, be bold, be firm, be true. When you shall say, ``as others do, so will I: I renounce, I am sorry for it, my early visions; I must eat the good of the land and let learning and romantic expectations go, until a more convenient season``......then dies the man in you; then once more perish the buds of art, poetry, science, as they have died already in a thousand thousand men. The hour of that choice is the crisis of your history, and see that you hold yourself fast by the intellect.``

Copy this and have it framed beside the mirror in your bathroom, so you will read it every morning.

Now, some suggestions:
--line 4 merits a period, not a comma
--line 10 the second `its` s/b `it is`
--line 15 `talking to the driver` is unnecessary. Especially more so as you have used
`talking` in the same line again.

Look forward to more contributions from you,

regards,