Buta, Pattey and Allah Chowrangi

Re: # 21

Thanks.

Allah Chowrangi is a real roundabout in Karachi. The monument is a three dimensional arabic word for `Allah.` At the bottom there are pasted signboards for `Pepsi`. I should post the picture up one of these days.

Rgds

S

this was amazing. a bit heavily allegorical but amazing... Allah Chowrangi sounds like a posterboard or something?

HAY JOOSTOOJU KAY KHOOB SAY HAY KHOOB-TAR KAHAN

iconoclast (Re #13)

Thanks for expressing your ire.

Perhaps you did not read my reply #7 where, I outlined the raison d`etre for my comments on various articles published here. I said, ``comments, which are always delivered from this writer`s personal vantage point---``personal`` is that cultural intel chip that is programmed with all the nuances, cultural, linguistic, religious, political---- that one constantly fights with and against as long as the last breath stokes the fires of the soul.``

To this I would add a few more thoughts. Once an article is published the author cannot exercise any control over the reader`s reaction: all the more evident in an inter-active medium like Chowk. I only `review` PUBLISHED articles/poems from my vantage point.. I do not `review` replies. When I interact with others it is based on the contents not the style.

In `reviews` I never ridicule or put down the author. I always encourage them to do better; to give their best. (Show me one example to the contrary)!

I find it unbelievable when an author says I wrote that piece for myself only. Like many I sing in the shower. But if I were to sing on stage, either as an amateur or professional, I better prepare myself and be ready for accolades or brickbats. I cannot take refuge from them saying I only sing for myself.

I try to abide by the following:

DECLARATION OF tEMPORAL`S WORD USAGE

1: Words are tools. Use them efficiently.
2: Educate, entertain, inform, teach.
3: Avoid pontification and euphemism.
4: Add colour, vibrancy, passion.
5: Encourage every writer to excel.
6: Refrain from personal attacks.

Iconoclast, you have made me rethink my outlook on creative writing. I am seriously contermplating the usefulness of my endeavours.

regards,


P.S. Apologise for this delay in response. Was enjoying the Sosua and Playa Dorada sun and sand.

Re: Khan

Thanks, I really appreciate your comments. Yes, Buta is my hero. So I wrote more about his innocent faith. Truly it is he who believes. Buta Plus I find a pain:-) and wanted to say that the so-called `class difference` does not exist beyond the superficial. Buta Plus is not just a victim, but also a perpetuator.

But don`t you agree that faith is a simple matter? You either believe or don`t. Most of us need to believe in something. Also, our professed God may be any or many, but what we believe right/honourable, is what makes us who or what we are.

Very perceptive, I really loved writing this. It was meant for me and mine alone, but found its way to Chowk.

I loved the stream of consciousness in the para starting ``It was day``. The short, rapid run on sentences mirriored the bustle of Allah Chowrangi. Metafiction doesn`t always work but in this case it worked wonderfully.

The picture of eternal life as possibly ``impotent rage against...`` was startling.

Buta is vivid and well sketched. Pattay felt like a foil to Buta but not much on his own. Some details of his existence would have been good.

The commentary on contemporary education being much more a collection of academic designer labels than awareness or exploration or true evolution is wonderfully effective - The Buta Plus Model!

I have to admit that their reasons for faith seemed a trifle simplistic.

Writing is not about the audience: I am sure you really loved writing this - it shows.

It was a nice read but I was totally lost because I didn`t get any of the symbolism.

But I would really like to read something on the day-to-day life of an average Karachitte.

Sadaf

The article seemed very contrived, the symbols werent strong...and the point the author was trying to get across was very ambiguous to me. No doubt the author felt what she was writing about, atleast i hope so, instead of writing on whats cool to write on amongst the ``intellectuals`` nowadays.

=== Interact Filtered ===
view this users filtered interacts

I just have to say that this is Saima`s best work
yet on CHOWK. Excellent symbolism and a
naive sense of reality in the characters portrayed. A necessity for intellectual survival
in Karachi today.
Buta and Pattey both amaze and churn the reader`s
thought processes. They become real for us.

To find full closure in this writing is difficult
here, but the ride along in this story was superb.

Ras

Re: Temporal

First off; I don`t have any problems with your critique-simply because it is from your vantage point. That is the the idea of argument anyway. Also, I won`t mind if you told me I am the worst writer at Chowk:), because it is the journey that matters--my view/vision and search, not how I compare with a group.

1. What is ``problem with every culture?`` the class divide? true. My article is not about the awfulness of the class divide. That creeps in anyway, because the reader knows the class divide is awful. But why is there a class divide of such magnificent proportions??

2. Literary merits is NOT why I write. I write because I see and hear. Urdu is my cultural heritage and the language of my heart. My characters are usually South Asian, so have typical names.

3. My symbols are appropriate for what I want to convey; I was not just speaking of motherhood. If anything, any ``phall`` was the retribution of Pattey and Buta circling Allah endlessly for an eternity, while cars drove through them and they helplessly watched the CLASS DIVIDE in the form of the women, children, poverty.

Motherhood issues (funny term:) are not just what the article was dealing with.

4. Okay, I`ll try to spell it out. This article is about the EQUALITY of Buta and Pattey. The similarity, the complete hand in glove co-ordination of the two to perpetuate a callous, useless, senseless and cruel life-not just for themselves but for others.

Buta is ignorant and therefore irresponsible, Pattey is educated BUT a liar/ a cheat. These people are this way because they are approval seeking and fixated on lower order needs i.e., food, sex, clothes, belonging--hence all the mention of fruit, meat, clothes, barren wife, Maulana and Pepsi respectively.

Regarding the books u need; I could give you the address of Thomas & Thomas or Ferozsons, booksellers where u may get the urdu books u need. Corresponding directly could help you locate the books u want. Also note the website of Liberty Books in case that may help.
``www.libertybooks.com``.

Re: Slink

Thanks very much (for the understanding and the appreciation). I had not seen the fungus, but yes the fungus would be a Shandanaesque observation--needing a separate story all its own.

Re: Ferozk

Thanks. Yes, the human spirit can be tenacious where the human mind would simply quit. It is the suffocation of the human spirit of Karachi that irks me, a sane mind would just keep quiet and pray for better days.

Re: Temporal

My previous posting was not allowed so let me modify my contents.

Instead of asking you why you are never tired of nitpicking let me paraphrase.

Don`t miss the whole when you look too deeply into parts such as choice of words, choice of semantics, commas, periods, asterisks, quotes, etc.,

Are you aware that the whole is greater than the sum of the parts....

iconoclast

like WOW!

Re: Saima Shah

Saima, your article was a helpful reminder of just how depressing life really is in Karachi. The only aspect, a sense, which sustains Karachi is an entity refered to as the human spirit. It is their resilience which has kept its identity alive despite the worst intentions of its feuding politicans.

The people of Karachi seemed to have adopted a motto, once echoed by Winston Churchil, which simply proclaims: you do your worst and we will do our best. If anything saves Karachi, it will be the refusal of its people to accept the reality and to continully strive to reach a bridge too far.

As far as daily life in Karachi goes, it will move forward despite all the death, destruction and inequity which presently lingers over Karachi. As John Steinbeck, in his novel, The Grapes of Wrath said, ``life, unlike anything organic or inorganic, grows beyond its means...`` the human spirit of Karachi will grow beyond the strictures which restrict it and it will thrive against all odds, because like life itself the people of Karachi have no other choice, but to live.

hmm..This is really good.

- Rishi

dear saima,

excellent work.
a very vivid and moving piece.especially loved the buta pattey symbolism.it also struck a chord because i was passing by that allah the other day and felt much of what you felt. have you noticed the fungus creeping up the sides?

Saima:

After your post, I went back to the article.

Here are some further comments, which are always delivered from this writer`s personal vantage point--- ``personal`` is that cultural intel chip that is programmed with all the nuances, cultural, linguistics, religious political that one constantly fights with and against as long as the last breath stokes the fires of the soul. (Saima bibi, I apologise for this long preamble, called for because somebody privately commented on my comments that follow other creative pieces here on the chowk).

So I went back to your article............except for the mudpack everything else sort of fell in place.......almost.

(You are a good writer---better than Chowk average-----that is the only reason why I am raising some of the following issues.)

This is a universal theme. You have unnecesarily localised it by using Pattey & Boutta and Allah Chowrangi:
1: How does it necessarliy enhance the literary merits by using non-englishwords (viz Pattey and Bouta)?
2 The allegory of plant and leaves to reflect the two segments of our society do not sit well. AND if you had to use non-english words, then perhaps Pattay would go better with Phall. Both are on the Bouta, which perhaps could relate with motherhood issues.
3: Pepsi was brilliant---multi-national, consumer driven, ensconced in the sub-conscious. Perhaps someday someone will use Pepsi and Coke to sybolise the shia/sunni split. But that is not relevant here.
4: Your depecition of Allah----let me hasten to add Patta and Bouta`s Allah is too real. Have we really turned him to be stone-faced? (The sizeable minority here at the Chowk who do not believe in such ethereal concepts, please ignore!) The pity is that concept of Allah is etched on raw minds by the blatant display of injustice a local inhabitant senses many times a day.

In the end, pls ignore any typos-- they always creep up and make me cringe!

regards,


PS. Since you are in Karachi, if Isend you a list of 6 Urdu books (they are always hard to find) can you make an effort to locate them for me?


.