Buta, Pattey and Allah Chowrangi

Re: # 21

Thanks.

Allah Chowrangi is a real roundabout in Karachi. The monument is a three dimensional arabic word for `Allah.` At the bottom there are pasted signboards for `Pepsi`. I should post the picture up one of these days.

Rgds

S

this was amazing. a bit heavily allegorical but amazing... Allah Chowrangi sounds like a posterboard or something?

HAY JOOSTOOJU KAY KHOOB SAY HAY KHOOB-TAR KAHAN

iconoclast (Re #13)

Thanks for expressing your ire.

Perhaps you did not read my reply #7 where, I outlined the raison d`etre for my comments on various articles published here. I said, ``comments, which are always delivered from this writer`s personal vantage point---``personal`` is that cultural intel chip that is programmed with all the nuances, cultural, linguistic, religious, political---- that one constantly fights with and against as long as the last breath stokes the fires of the soul.``

To this I would add a few more thoughts. Once an article is published the author cannot exercise any control over the reader`s reaction: all the more evident in an inter-active medium like Chowk. I only `review` PUBLISHED articles/poems from my vantage point.. I do not `review` replies. When I interact with others it is based on the contents not the style.

In `reviews` I never ridicule or put down the author. I always encourage them to do better; to give their best. (Show me one example to the contrary)!

I find it unbelievable when an author says I wrote that piece for myself only. Like many I sing in the shower. But if I were to sing on stage, either as an amateur or professional, I better prepare myself and be ready for accolades or brickbats. I cannot take refuge from them saying I only sing for myself.

I try to abide by the following:

DECLARATION OF tEMPORAL`S WORD USAGE

1: Words are tools. Use them efficiently.
2: Educate, entertain, inform, teach.
3: Avoid pontification and euphemism.
4: Add colour, vibrancy, passion.
5: Encourage every writer to excel.
6: Refrain from personal attacks.

Iconoclast, you have made me rethink my outlook on creative writing. I am seriously contermplating the usefulness of my endeavours.

regards,


P.S. Apologise for this delay in response. Was enjoying the Sosua and Playa Dorada sun and sand.

Re: Khan

Thanks, I really appreciate your comments. Yes, Buta is my hero. So I wrote more about his innocent faith. Truly it is he who believes. Buta Plus I find a pain:-) and wanted to say that the so-called `class difference` does not exist beyond the superficial. Buta Plus is not just a victim, but also a perpetuator.

But don`t you agree that faith is a simple matter? You either believe or don`t. Most of us need to believe in something. Also, our professed God may be any or many, but what we believe right/honourable, is what makes us who or what we are.

Very perceptive, I really loved writing this. It was meant for me and mine alone, but found its way to Chowk.

I loved the stream of consciousness in the para starting ``It was day``. The short, rapid run on sentences mirriored the bustle of Allah Chowrangi. Metafiction doesn`t always work but in this case it worked wonderfully.

The picture of eternal life as possibly ``impotent rage against...`` was startling.

Buta is vivid and well sketched. Pattay felt like a foil to Buta but not much on his own. Some details of his existence would have been good.

The commentary on contemporary education being much more a collection of academic designer labels than awareness or exploration or true evolution is wonderfully effective - The Buta Plus Model!

I have to admit that their reasons for faith seemed a trifle simplistic.

Writing is not about the audience: I am sure you really loved writing this - it shows.

It was a nice read but I was totally lost because I didn`t get any of the symbolism.

But I would really like to read something on the day-to-day life of an average Karachitte.

Sadaf

The article seemed very contrived, the symbols werent strong...and the point the author was trying to get across was very ambiguous to me. No doubt the author felt what she was writing about, atleast i hope so, instead of writing on whats cool to write on amongst the ``intellectuals`` nowadays.

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I just have to say that this is Saima`s best work
yet on CHOWK. Excellent symbolism and a
naive sense of reality in the characters portrayed. A necessity for intellectual survival
in Karachi today.
Buta and Pattey both amaze and churn the reader`s
thought processes. They become real for us.

To find full closure in this writing is difficult
here, but the ride along in this story was superb.

Ras

Re: Temporal

First off; I don`t have any problems with your critique-simply because it is from your vantage point. That is the the idea of argument anyway. Also, I won`t mind if you told me I am the worst writer at Chowk:), because it is the journey that matters--my view/vision and search, not how I compare with a group.

1. What is ``problem with every culture?`` the class divide? true. My article is not about the awfulness of the class divide. That creeps in anyway, because the reader knows the class divide is awful. But why is there a class divide of such magnificent proportions??

2. Literary merits is NOT why I write. I write because I see and hear. Urdu is my cultural heritage and the language of my heart. My characters are usually South Asian, so have typical names.

3. My symbols are appropriate for what I want to convey; I was not just speaking of motherhood. If anything, any ``phall`` was the retribution of Pattey and Buta circling Allah endlessly for an eternity, while cars drove through them and they helplessly watched the CLASS DIVIDE in the form of the women, children, poverty.

Motherhood issues (funny term:) are not just what the article was dealing with.

4. Okay, I`ll try to spell it out. This article is about the EQUALITY of Buta and Pattey. The similarity, the complete hand in glove co-ordination of the two to perpetuate a callous, useless, senseless and cruel life-not just for themselves but for others.

Buta is ignorant and therefore irresponsible, Pattey is educated BUT a liar/ a cheat. These people are this way because they are approval seeking and fixated on lower order needs i.e., food, sex, clothes, belonging--hence all the mention of fruit, meat, clothes, barren wife, Maulana and Pepsi respectively.

Regarding the books u need; I could give you the address of Thomas & Thomas or Ferozsons, booksellers where u may get the urdu books u need. Corresponding directly could help you locate the books u want. Also note the website of Liberty Books in case that may help.
``www.libertybooks.com``.

Re: Slink

Thanks very much (for the understanding and the appreciation). I had not seen the fungus, but yes the fungus would be a Shandanaesque observation--needing a separate story all its own.

Re: Ferozk

Thanks. Yes, the human spirit can be tenacious where the human mind would simply quit. It is the suffocation of the human spirit of Karachi that irks me, a sane mind would just keep quiet and pray for better days.

Re: Temporal

My previous posting was not allowed so let me modify my contents.

Instead of asking you why you are never tired of nitpicking let me paraphrase.

Don`t miss the whole when you look too deeply into parts such as choice of words, choice of semantics, commas, periods, asterisks, quotes, etc.,

Are you aware that the whole is greater than the sum of the parts....

iconoclast

like WOW!

Re: Saima Shah

Saima, your article was a helpful reminder of just how depressing life really is in Karachi. The only aspect, a sense, which sustains Karachi is an entity refered to as the human spirit. It is their resilience which has kept its identity alive despite the worst intentions of its feuding politicans.

The people of Karachi seemed to have adopted a motto, once echoed by Winston Churchil, which simply proclaims: you do your worst and we will do our best. If anything saves Karachi, it will be the refusal of its people to accept the reality and to continully strive to reach a bridge too far.

As far as daily life in Karachi goes, it will move forward despite all the death, destruction and inequity which presently lingers over Karachi. As John Steinbeck, in his novel, The Grapes of Wrath said, ``life, unlike anything organic or inorganic, grows beyond its means...`` the human spirit of Karachi will grow beyond the strictures which restrict it and it will thrive against all odds, because like life itself the people of Karachi have no other choice, but to live.

hmm..This is really good.

- Rishi

dear saima,

excellent work.
a very vivid and moving piece.especially loved the buta pattey symbolism.it also struck a chord because i was passing by that allah the other day and felt much of what you felt. have you noticed the fungus creeping up the sides?

Saima:

After your post, I went back to the article.

Here are some further comments, which are always delivered from this writer`s personal vantage point--- ``personal`` is that cultural intel chip that is programmed with all the nuances, cultural, linguistics, religious political that one constantly fights with and against as long as the last breath stokes the fires of the soul. (Saima bibi, I apologise for this long preamble, called for because somebody privately commented on my comments that follow other creative pieces here on the chowk).

So I went back to your article............except for the mudpack everything else sort of fell in place.......almost.

(You are a good writer---better than Chowk average-----that is the only reason why I am raising some of the following issues.)

This is a universal theme. You have unnecesarily localised it by using Pattey & Boutta and Allah Chowrangi:
1: How does it necessarliy enhance the literary merits by using non-englishwords (viz Pattey and Bouta)?
2 The allegory of plant and leaves to reflect the two segments of our society do not sit well. AND if you had to use non-english words, then perhaps Pattay would go better with Phall. Both are on the Bouta, which perhaps could relate with motherhood issues.
3: Pepsi was brilliant---multi-national, consumer driven, ensconced in the sub-conscious. Perhaps someday someone will use Pepsi and Coke to sybolise the shia/sunni split. But that is not relevant here.
4: Your depecition of Allah----let me hasten to add Patta and Bouta`s Allah is too real. Have we really turned him to be stone-faced? (The sizeable minority here at the Chowk who do not believe in such ethereal concepts, please ignore!) The pity is that concept of Allah is etched on raw minds by the blatant display of injustice a local inhabitant senses many times a day.

In the end, pls ignore any typos-- they always creep up and make me cringe!

regards,


PS. Since you are in Karachi, if Isend you a list of 6 Urdu books (they are always hard to find) can you make an effort to locate them for me?


.

To all those who commented on this piece, thank you. I have little idea how to explain this, simply because it derives from the panorama in front of me, which I have tried to depict-

The story is about the Karachi I have lived in most of my life, about the religion I have grown up with, and the people I know. My explanation for the story is mine own and frankly if someone likes theirs, please throw this out of your PC.

Allah Chowrangi is a signal roundabout on the intersection of Shahrae-Quaideen and one end of Tariq Road. It is a relatively affluent and well constructed part of the city. The Allah is a three pronged Arabic ``allah`` with a fountain playing under it. Square ``Pepsi`` plaques are pasted on the rim of the fountain at strategic intervals. Karachi suffers from a constant and chronic shortage of water. However, it is one of the prettiest sights in the city during a drive.

There are three or four major issues in the article. I explain them as follows:

God/Allah
The first is God/Allah and how we understand the concept. As much as religion teaches us that God defines us, it is but logical to think that we also create the concept for ourselves (this idea has been used by Iqbal to name one) God stands for retribution, and God is fear and power. Through the ages people have searched for God and depicted him in many forms. In our religion, the concept of stone gods is considered primitive, wrong, heathen and false. Real Allah is depicted as warm, kind and responsive and singular. It is my opinion that each human defines his own god via his actions, through his priorities and not just his professed beliefs/labels. By that token, this nation`s Allah is callous and mean (made of stone) and of many forms not very nice. In this way the concept of God is used to justify and legitimize our lesser actions, our inhumanities, our lies and our corruption. He is an extremely important symbol in our priorities.

Butta and Pattey
Buta stands for the human plant of our nation. Ignorant, simple, poor and macho. Pattey is the human, educated(?) section that derives from this base. People usually imagine that there is `real` difference between the classes. Education is supposed to bring enlightenment but it cannot because what we call education (a degree, social class) is defective in its prejudices.

Buta and Pattey have killed their consciences. They are puppets and products of the system. It is only when they die and are condemned to spend retribution helplessly in front of the stone Allah that they talk to each other and themselves. Their conscience is awakened but they are helpless. Their life was as death in its ineffectuality and like hell in its empty passivity.

Women
The Afghan women are the left-overs from the tribal clashes in Afghanistan-as you all know the fight is about which/whose God will get power. Women and children-the supposed beneficiaries of Islam`s patriarchal-macho culture, for whom young men are schooled to earn a living, the `family values` that conservatism is supposedly about, beg with empty milk bottles on a traffic island.

Pepsi
Other details like Pepsi, sajda, wife, aging, cars passing through Buta and Pattey are symbols we can relate with. Pepsi is related to ``Allah`` because it is universal, senseless and an exploitation of our need to belong. Pepsi is a sugar and caffeine high (a drug) sold to us through mass conditioning just like the popular concept of ``Allah``.

Re Afrasiyab

Will look it up one day. Thanks for the appreciation.

Moving. With logical amendments, this could well be Bombay/Mumbai, too. Thank you for the groundlevel views of life.

Wonderful imagery woven around very powerful ideas. Buta and Pattey confessing, crawling and arguing around a Chowrangi gives me the shivers. The symbolism hits like a sledgehammer.

There is no shortage of symbolism and allegories in this article. Pepsi can stuff made me think of the role and power of the media in defining our perceptions.

Dear Saima Shah,

I really don`t know what to make of this piece at all. I am at a complete loss. Aside from some pretty good discriptive writing i`m not sure what else to take from this piece. I don`t know what you the author intended to convey to us, but i hope at some point later in the discussion (if there is one) you`ll step in and enlighten us!

Frankly, I don`t see JACK.

OMAR

Saima:

AT this point I am totally ambivalent. Perhaps later?

Confession: These sentences stood out sorely. ``It was day. It seemed as though the day dawned too quickly. In his first sajda almost.``

ambivalently,

Saima, nice one here. Gotta hand it to you. You have your own unique way. Short, simple yet complicated.

``Somehow he had never though that hell could be so like Karachi``

I remember this from Mushtaq Yousufi`s book, Aab-e-Gum where he mentions a character`s remark on another when the latter mentions the analogy that you have alluded to in your article.

The comment was something like this:

``Agar Mirza iss Daar-ul-Mahan say kooch ker kay waheen punhunch gayey jis say Karachi ko tashbeeh diya kartey thay toa irshaad hoga, `Hum to samajhtey thay kay Karachi chhota sa jahannum hay, jahannum toa badda sa karachi nikla.`

I would certainly recommend this book, by the way.