Shaam Ki Biathaak

Re: Content # 9

That was an interesting deduction!

For your info, I am not into materialism and glamour associated with ``my generation``. I like to relax by going camping or hiking. As to my statement saying that I found this ritual to be boring is because my interests do not reflect the ``simple pleasures of yesterdays`` as you intoned them.

Maybe, as I grow older and more reflective, I will start to enjoy this ritual.....maybe not!

Re: All

Thank you for the comments - to be honest I wasn’t sure how the chowk readers would react to this piece. I was expecting to get more of the ‘Ferozk’ type responses since I find many people of my generation to be fascinated more by the material pleasures of this day and age than the simple pleasures of yesteryears.

Re: Slink & Zehra

Never realized my writing had a rhythmic quality to it - but that is definitely nice to know - I think I might start taking adavantage of it! As far as ‘Adaab’s’ go fortunately my father gave up on trying to make me do it the right way years ago. I think he realized that I was killing more flies in the air than actually greeting anyone!

Re: Ferozk

Some of us have absolutely no fascination with the glamorized materialism of this world,

instead we are magnetized only to the simple pleasures of the human spirit.

Re: AA, Kidwai & Fozia

There is definitely a magnetizing charm in the simple lifestyles of these remote areas lost in

time and place. Perhaps it is the emphasis on the human spirit rather than the physical

aspects of this world that make it so enchanting. Unfortunately, not only is this lifestyle dying away but also the appreciation for it.

As for the relationships of servants to masters - yes you guys are absolutely right - it’s

almost like a symbiotic relationship from generation to generation. The servants will often

sacrifice their physical comforts for the sake of their masters and by the same token the

masters often sacrifice their financial situation for the sake of their servants since they are

fully responsible not only for room and board but also wedding expenses, funeral expenses

and any medical expenses of the servants. The lady that currently serves my grandmother

is the great grand-daughter of the lady that served my grandmother’s mother (hope I

didn’t lose you there!). Needless to say the servants are really part of the family and are

respected as such - the children of the Nawabs are not allowed to call the older servants by

their first name but rather by a title (baji, apa, dada, etc...) and are expected to respect

them appropriately

Re: AA

As far as the stories of Jinns go - believe me I could write a whole encyclopedia on that

just from stories within this particular Haveli and yes they were definetely fun to listen to

especially when you are sleeping outside in the aangaan under the moonlit dark skies!

As far as contentment goes - my secret to contentment is focusing on the simpler pleasures

in life - since being a software consultant, as you said, is definitely not conducive to a

content life.

I enjoyed this writing very much. As a past resident of Karachi and having lost my ``adaab``
to the turbulence of that chaotic city, it`s
good to once again read about this fast
disappearing era.
``Taikhanas`` brought back many memories.

Ras

My family is originally from india too, but now the adaabs are generally only saved for the much older relatives i.e at least half a head of grey hair. :)

Re: kidwai

I`ve been also told of such stories of master/servent loyalty in the ``old`` days. A few years back I watched the Mirza Ghalib tv mini-series, and while watching it, I remember being struck by how Ghalib`s servant remained with his master till the end even though the master was perennially broke and owing everybody money!

Regards,

Fozia

An amusing story I would like to share told to me by my Dad when he visited Lucknow in 1968. One of our realtives took my Dad to visit one of his friendS. This friend`s father used to belong to a ``nawabi`` family. Although quite well off once they were not doing so well now. But my father was really surprised to see that they still kept about half a dozen servants. He asked the person as to why he has so many servants when he can`t afford them. The person replied that these people (servants) had served his father and forefathers for generations. He just can`t ask them to leave. The person besides paying them used to look after their childrens schooling, clothes etc. He had even sent one of their sons to Aligarh. I guess this was part of a culture where ``loyalty`` to your commitments was quite important!!!

It is good to know that there are still people in this world who have a respect for their roots and culture. ``Salaam Alaikum`` may be a lot simpler to utter, but ``Adaab`` has an old fashioned charm, which never fails to impress!!!!

As in one of Jagjits - Chitras ghazal,

yeh daulat bhi leylo, yeh shuhrat bhi leylo

bhaley cheen lo mujh sey meyri jawaani

magaar mujh ko lauta do bachpan ka saawan

woh kaagaz kee kashtee, woh baarish kaa paani

content,
I guess your essay here would make good research material for someone writing about the bygone days of such culture. ``In Custody`` by Anita Desai, reflected on some of the themes you raise. My mother, on a 1989 trip to Aligarh, spoke of similar `` things falling apart`` of not just houses and roofs, but more. I don`t know what the ``more`` is - a way of life, perhaps. So sad - you know things from the past dying away to be replaced by urbanism, and this zee tv-materialist reality. One sad story-line that emerges from all this -nawabs who lose their money, and then sell their wives trinkets just to maintain a lifestyle - (Jalsaghar, film by satyajit Ray).

You give an intereting account; it reads like a diary. It could have been even better with first hand type-spoken dialogues and more stories like the guy who shot the crow! God knows, how many such stories I grew up with. And I may not be gullible and at bed-time, but each one brings back the same chills and premonitions .. that i should clean up my act.Stay content, although I can`t imagine how, given that you`re a software engineer.

I often would ridicule my father when he would wax nostalgic about UP and all the traditions of that era; the purity of the tradition which my brother and I did not give a fig about.

Your article was a regression in fond memories of a simple childhood. I knew many people, in Pakistan, who still practice the lost life styles as you described them. My impression, then was and has not changed at the present, of the rituals described is: boring....!

i loved the rhythm to the piece...made me feel like swaying. my fathers side comes from this tradition and i remeber going to india and sitting in the aangaan as a little girl with family members that had not seen my father since the partition some 40 years ago. i never had to do the adaab thing (unless it was for eidhi) and only when i came to the states and am in a community that consists mostly of hyderabadi women i have come to almost (im so very close) master the 43 degree angle. as the wonderful matriarchs will tell me, its good nuff for a pakistani larki. nice piece

z.rizvi

a pleasure to read with it`s gentle, lilting rhythm. i was particularly amused by the descriptions of ways to do adaab. my husband comes from such a background and i was initially expected to do `adaab` as well. i signalled my reluctance to do so by saluting smartly with my right hand at every opportunity instead, and noones asked me to do it since.
it`s the little things that you remember.