The Man who would be King

funny, true, you write an extremely enjoyable piece with perfect sarcasm on a very, very sad issue. I`m sure he is thinking of murgh musallums too during these long naps of his -- Times of extreme political repression such as these are ideal for progressive mobilization. The would-be King`s strategy of systematically eliminating roots for this mobilization (press arrests and dismantling NGOs) is clever (like a battering ram) but will not, and should not work. This is time when our energies and vocal chords need the most straining through all sorts of rallies, protests, organizing efforts. Ibne sina, excellent article!

Extremely and brutally to the point!

Nawaz Sharif Regius Trynnus Pakistanius!

Thanks for telling the truth what this man is up to and what he wants accomplish. This man is on a personal crusade to rule Pakistan as despot! His legacy is all to clear to see and what he has done in the past can only be characterized as a prelude to the final oppression, which is just around the corner in Pakistan!

It is encouraging to see and hear people start saying this truth, because the more people see this reality, there will always be one less person with wool over his/her eyes and with their heads buried in the sand! Those of us who reside outside of Pakistan have a moral obligation to raise a chorus of dissent against this man, which gets to be heard by the world. The writing of what has been happening in Pakistan has been on the walls for a long time and it is time we wake up read its message!

It is high time that we stop pretending that emperor is wearing clothes and shout at the top of our lungs at what is happening in Pakistan!!!

Reproduced from The Friday Times

What a nice time your bhabi and I have had in kingdom of Sultan of Browny. I thought I had paisa until I saw his paisa. Something will have to be done to gat as much paisa as Sultan. Trouble is Motorway has been built, yallow cab s have been brought, Afghan jehad is over, treayury is empty and dwelpment is not possible unless ghaddar World Bank gives more money. Fateh Fauj has to think hard, which, as you know, is difficult thing....I know! I will tell Shbaz Saab to put on his sui t and go to World Bank and see Mr Wolf. He will say to him, ``look here Mr Fox, we are having a bum. And all our neighbours are wanting our bum. If we sell our bum then don`t say. We don`t really want to sell our bum but no other way has remained to make p aisa. So I have brilliant idea. Since you and ghaddar Amercans are so concerned that bums should not fall into the hands of bad people, you can buy our bum, hain ji?`` I am sure Mr Warewolf will ag-ree to Shbaz Saab. (We brothers have perfected art of good cop, bad cop).

Talking of bad cop, I have decide that enough is enough. This ghaddar press has become too over. Its time has come. Printing bad bad newses and saying bad bad things - they are caaz of all of Paakastans problems. Without them, everything will be alrigh t. Canals of milul will flow. Houries will be. What peace will be.... Fust I will close down one paper, than the next, than the next, than the naxt, until land of pure is pure again and everything is peeeeeace.

I have also decide to gat rid of troublesome people in bloved PML. Abda has gone. Now it is turn of Gor Yoob Saab. I think I will gat Dipty Commissioner Ashraf Jahangir Kazi to write repote on treachery of Gor Yoob Saab`s WAPDA. After Gor Yoob Saab, it will be Surcharge Saab`s turn. I am sure Ashraf Jahangir Kazi can write repote about treachery of Foreign Office. After all, it is his alma mother. Now that I think about it, I also don`t like my ghaddar cousins who have given interview to ghaddar BBC. I am going to ask Ashraf Jahangir Kazi to write repote on treachery of cousins. He will be good at it because if he can do it to his friends, he can certainly do it to my cousins, hain ji?

Sultan of Borneo has too much paisa. I said to him that Paakastan is poor country. Give us some of your paisa. He said, ``I know Pakistan is a poor country but it has very rich people. Why don`t you donate some of your money to Pakistan?`` Just look. Is this any talk?

Heppy birday to meeee,
Heppy birday to meeee....

NS

Sharif saheb should remember:

``huwey namwar beynishaan kaisey kaisey

zameen kha gayee aasman kaisey kasiey``

History neither forgets nor forgives.

Look at what happened to the three people involved in the tragedy of East Pakistan.

Bhutto, Mujeeb and Indira. All three died an ``unnatural`` death. Not only they but their sons also had ``unnatural`` deaths. Could this be a mere coincidence??? Sharif saheb take note!!!!!

If Nawaz Sharif is not a wake-up call for Pakistan, what is?

``This man wants to be a king.`` After that, the Master of the Universe! We should at least give him credit for being ambitious!

Re: maliani, #3

Thank you for the reproduction of the article. It`s a delight to read such hilarious truth. A tragedy of Pakistan has become comical. As a friend of mine once said about the Benny Hill Show, Its so stupid that it`s funny. Nawaz Sharif`s Pakistan has turned into the Nawaz Sharif Show! But Benny Hill is at least intelligent.

The Emperor has no clothes?

congrats on a superb article that gets right to the point. This man is trying to outdo his former master zia ul haq. Unfortunately the situation seems really bleak, the only institution capable of standing up to him ie the army seems to be totally under his control and the recent rulings from the punjab high court and supreme court seem to indicate that the judiciary is headed the same way.

Re: Godot # 6

Benny Hill.....! Now that you mention it, the late tyrant Terry Thomas was Nawaz Sharif`s mentor in this area. If it had not been for the regimental mullah from Dehra Dun, Nawaz Sharif would still be plying rusted iron and would have never discovered the truth about Islam!

Pakistan is a modern soaf opera with a trace of a Greek tragedy. I think that they should throw in some songs and a dance or two and see if they can market this show on cable. Then they should take the money from the marketing rights and use those to pay for Pakistan`s bad debts. That is before some tough wiseguys from IMF force Pakistan to wear some cement shoes and take the fast express to the bottom of a lake!

Re: Ferozek

I understand your feelings about your P.M. but we need to recognize that it is extremely difficult to govern countries like India or Pakistan. The scale of problems is mind boggling and it is difficult to achieve tangible results. People from all sides constantly criticize you and scheme to topple the government. At least Nawaz Sharif has provided a stable government to Pakistan where the centrifugal forces are even stronger than India. In India it is becoming difficult to form a government, let alone carry out any administration. Nawaz Sharif has a positive attitude towards India which is also a refreshing change.

Looking at India and Pakistan, I can understand why the Chinese have resisted democracy and focused all their efforts on economic development. They realize that democracy needs a certain level of development in terms of literacy levels and economic conditions. Otherwise the country ends up wasting all its energy on destructive issues as the politicians try to remain in power.

In India the situation is such that only coalition governments can come to power and they cannot take any tough decision in the fear that some vested interest will get ticked off and pull down the government. At least Pakistan does not face such a situation. I have also noticed that Pakistanis in general seem to be very emotional people who tend to overreact on every issue. Instead of helping the government or contributing to society, there is a tendency to constantly say that the sky is falling down. Take Najam Sethi`s speech for example. The way he portrayed Pakistan was extreme and he should have realized that he would be hurting the sentiments of other Pakistanis on that forum in India. I have a lot of friends from Pakistan and they love their country. They admit there are problems but it is certainly not a terminal case.

Re: Amit

You were right about the China but in Pakistan case people are emotional, you know why, after 50 years of crap they need to be emotional. Look where we are heading. By making missiles and bombs you can boast your fake ego but can`t feed the hungry mass. Nawaz Sharif is only interested in getting more power and why not he would be. He is from the same elite class which is poisioning the whole coutry.

Pakistan was made becuase Muslims of India can exercise their power and be prosperous but its the same story with different faces. Until some Messiah comes in help the poor mass till then we need people like Najam Sethi and their blunt journalism.

God bless Pakistan

Re: Amit # 9

Your comments were apt, but my problem with the style of government in Pakistan has more to do with public accountibility than its methodology. India has strong institutional character, which acts as a system of balances and evens out the worst excesses of its politicans. Pakistan has no such system and it still relies, more than a decade after Zia`s death, on the belief that the man on the horse back is still the answer to all of its problems. There is a very seductive desire in Pakistani politics to trust in the principle of autocracy.

I would be the first one to agree with you that governing Pakistan is a headache and not too easy a task, but just because it is so difficult should not suggest that Pakistanis should give up their basic political rights. In the case of India, India still has public accountibility of its officals despite being such a difficult country to forge a political consensus in. My comments directed against Nawaz Shairf were meant to highlight his government`s lack of accountibility to the Pakistani people. The right of the public to hold its officals to account for their actions is a requirement, not an option, of a democratic government.

Your comment suggests that you would be willing to accept such a government if it offers a sense of political security, but then the question becomes whose political security is being considered by such a course of action. I will tolerate, in a pragmatic sense, a slew of actions to reinforce the insitutional intergrity of Pakistani government, at a certain cost in basic political rights, but I will resist Nawaz Sharif`s or anyone else`s like minded efforts to save Pakistan by destroying it!

Your observations were absolutely acute in that in certain political instances, it is necessary to commit evil to in order to achieve good if the situation warrants such an utilitarian realism. In the case of Pakistan, the reality paints a very different picture. Nawaz Sharif is the most powerful prime minister in the history of Pakistan and he has, through an electoral mandate, secured his political power, but still he persits in hobbling the insitutions of Pakistan and has tried and succeed in undermining their political independence to butteress his own political power.

What is he so afraid of? Where does the threat to his power comes from? Who can confront him politically? Who is he accountiable to for his actions? Given his political security, why is he so anxious to curtail political critism of his actions at any and all costs? What is he trying to hide?

These are the questions we, Pakistanis, have to ask our duly elected leader and answer he must, because at stake is not only the creditability of Pakistani experiment in democracy, but Nawaz Sharif`s own persona as a politican committed to the ideals of democracy in Pakistan. No rational minded person ever believes the old lie that politics is for the timid, but those who trod upon its twisted paths should not be considered as above the law, because they happen to engage, in a profession; in a forum, which is thought of as something akin to a distasteful occupation.

Politics and those who participate in it are not doing it as a pro bono service to their consituents, but out of their own self-interests. Hence, instead of being thankful to them and as a sign of our admiration appeasing their intentions, we have moral duty to ask them to justify their personal interests, which are translated into public policy. It is this lack of a political justfication from Nawaz Sharif and his cohorts that dismays and angers me endlessly and is the reason why I decry his actions as being a slap in the face of Pakistani democracy.

Re: all

Thanks for the comments

It has been 10 days since the disappearance of Najam Sethi. No one knows where he is. This is unheard of in any democratic country.

CTBT (Choti Tind and Barri Tind --the two brothers) are neck deep in various illegitimate endeavours, yet they control the judiciary which makes it impossible to get a fair verdict. There is evidence of multiple wrong-doings by them, and their Chief Ehtasab Commissioner, which of course gets thrown out of court immediately.

I feel that most of the Pakistanis being what they are, accepting and fatigued, the Sharif family will succeed in establishing their kingdom. All the chips are in their hands.

Ibne Sina,

Very well written and witty. Enjoyed the read. However, I don`t share your bleak view that this illicit product of rape (i.e., NS, who was `born` when Zia `raped` democracy) shall be `crowned`, i.e, he`ll rule for long.

I beleive his days are numbered. This (assault on journalists) is a desperate act. It brought to mind the last days of Mr. Bhutto, when the man had almost lost his mind. These people have also lost their minds and have, in addition to ruining the country, shot themselves in the foot.

True, they have closed all legitimte channels of change. But, legal niceties have never stood in the way of necessary change. Their monopoly of power has only raised the probability of a `bloodbath` as an agent of change. Following is set of future possibilities as I see them. My crystal ball is as opaque as the next person`s, but I`m forwarding a set of possibilities that could unfold in the next few months. If per chance something like this does happen, then there MAY be SOMEEEE hope still left. If things remain as they are, I just don`t see how this sytem could last too much longer.


Both BB and NS have lost the trust of the people. They may both get black listed. The army will, of necessity, be the catalyst of change, but in response to some trigger event. The trigger even could be the BBC film, some other case, riots, or whatever. I don`t think the soldiers will come forward and seize power directly. A state of national emergency will quite likely be imposed though, and that will provide the grounds to bring other changes. Someone will be brought in from outside the main stream political system (like they brought Moeen Qureshi) to form a national unity government,i.e, both PPP and PML will endorse this arrangement, because they will have little choice. (Ghulam Ishaq Khan said yesterday that the Sherpow should be brought to lead the govt. Senile idiot!) Elections may well be held off for a couple of years.

Three things will need to be done if the country is to survive at all.

1) Economic recovery
2) Restoration of law and order by disarming society.
3) Abolution of the state`s role as a player in the economy.
4) Permanent peace and economic cooperation with Bharat and massive down-sizing of the defense establishment.

No political govt. can do any of this. Just like it took Nixon to go to China, or Begin to go to Cairo, or Nithinau to talk to Arafat, similarly, only a govt of `hired professionals` with military support will be able to do this IF ANYONE can do it AT ALL.

The first thing the new rulers will have to do is
to use draconian measures to recover unpaid loans from major defaulters in an attempt to ease the liquidity crunch the whole economy faces today. This is where NS will hang.

But then, I may just be dreaming.

...SR

Re: SR #13

Just a friendly reminder:

Begin did not go to Cario till Sadat had been to Tel Aviv in 1978; Nutty-yahoo did not talk with Arafat first, it was Rabin who did!

A short dialogue between Choti Tind (Mian N`waz Saab) and Barri Tind (Mian Shbazz Saab) --with thanks and apologies to Ittefaqnama.

CT: Shbazz saab, mein sari ratti sochi piya kay es ullu day pathay Sethi nal ki keeta jaway. Einay tay sahdi suthan hi lah ditti ay. Sahnu gallian ich nanga kar ditta ay. Menu kuch samajh nahi andi, ki kariyay?

BT: N`waz ji, tussi fikar keun karday-o. Einu jail ich thori der rakho tay khoob chitroal karo, apay-ee sari gallan bhul jaway ga. Aidi chitrol hoi tay eidi gallan sunan walay vi jhag ho jan gay.

CT: Par ainun ander keewain rakhiyay? Loki gallan karan dayay nay, tey eidi woti cheekan mar mar kay sahdi neendar haram kar rai ay. Meri samajh ich kuch nai anda. Hun tay ay akhbaran walay vi kalam likhday payay nay tey gal bari dur tikar puhanchdi payi ay. Menu Clint saab tay Tony Dlair saab day loki vi adhi adhi raat nu phone karday nay. Twadhi bhabhi nu ajj kai din hoay suti nai. Asan Sethi nu do char la kay chad kew nahi dainday?

BT: Chad kay hor gallan khao gay? Tussi einu chaddya tey hor vi dalair ho jan gay. Tay fir saray press alay rajj kay sadhi chitroal karan gay. O gallan karan gay kay twanuh roti hazam nahi howay gi. Eidah koi hor hall socho. Chad kay sahdi nakk waddi jayay gi. Ya tay assi einu andero andri ghaib kara daiyay ya fir eidhi zaban nu rokiyay. Tussi einu koi changa jaya plat deo, ais shart tay key ey hun koi gall na karay. Jay ey na mannay tey fir einu ghaib kara deo. Jail ich hangama karwa deo te einu wichon-i muka deo. Ik do mahinay ich loki sabb kuch bhul bhulla jan gay.

Re: Ibne Sina`s ittefaqnama

This is the best commic releif...just great. I couldn`t control my eyes watering, that`s how hard it made me laugh! Have sent copies of it to many people. Thank you.

...SR