Alternate Goals

To wonder is, can she or any body manage to run away from the responsibilities of this world.

tariqlodi

Unfortunately, haven’t had a chance to interact recently - been trying to clear out the ‘dust’ in my head!. There were some truly interesting responses that provoked me to get into the conversation.

RE: Patrick Masih - posts #19 & #28

I think you have restored my faith in the good-heartedness of Indians/Pakistanis (haven’t quite figured out which country you’re from or if you’re just a fictitious character?). To have sacrificed a lucrative career in the IT industry in order to pursue teaching purely for altruistic reasons is truly quite admirable. I am somewhat at the crossroads of making such a decison too - hopefully I will figure out what I was destined to do (other than sitting on a mountain!).

‘maybe it`s because we believe that the world could actually be a better place than it is (esp. the World of Plenty, aka, the `First World / pockets), and that one way to get there would be to recognize there ARE universal ideals that humans can/should aspire to. Not that `we` suggest the taking away of the individual`s

freedom of choice; just that a sharing of ideas, and yes, preaching -without pontificating- can lead us to that better place.’

Beautifully said - couldn’t have said it better! Yes there definitely are universal ideals that humans not only can but SHOULD aspire to - much of the negativity so prevalent in this world could be prevented if these ideals were only given more importance in this world. Unfortunately there are many pessimists that

brand the idealists as being unrealistic and yes I agree with them that a utopian society is unattainable and impractical, however, that should not prevent us from striving to be optimistic about the world and goaling to improve the world in whatever minute possible way each of us is capable of doing.

Your comment reminded me of a young lady I once met, who had graduated from one of the top business schools in the country - as we progressed in the conversation I asked her about her career and expected her to say that she was an investment broker at some big firm - instead she told me that she was working on an economic development program in Indonesia where she was paid only a pittance of a salary to help restructure the economy in small villages. May God bless her.(However I do wonder how she’s ever going to payoff that student loan?!)

As for your idea about starting a fund-raiser at chowk - I think that’s a great idea and I would be

personally interested in contributing. Unfortunately we missed the opportunity for this little girl, but I still think that would probably be a good idea to propose to the chowk editors for the future.

Re: Zahra post #20

‘Sometimes even words of wisdom, mentoring, being able to listen and rationalize others` situation may assist in

many ways. ‘

Very true. Altruism comes in many forms and shapes and running off to some developing nation to serve the poor is not the only form of service to humanity. There are many people right around us that may benefit from our love and tenderness. However, I think that God sprinkles all of us with different passions and for some of us we don’t feel that we have truly served humanity until we have served the lowest of the low, the poorest of the poor.

Re: Veeresh post #21

‘Incidentally, anchors do not drag ships down into the deep . . ‘

Now that you mention it - I see the blatant logical flaw in that statement - but somehow it sounded poetic at the time!

As for your statement that this philosophy was not available in the 60’s and 70’s - I disagree. The drive to understand the true meaning of life is not some fad that comes and goes with generations - instead itis inherent within our minds and has existed since the beginning of times. Isn’t that essentially what great philosophers have spent their whole

lives doing - trying to understand the metaphysical by questioning everything around them.

Re: Slink post #22

My dear if I ever go up that mountain then I ain’t ever comin’ down - but thanks for the suggestion anyways and for the advice on relationships - I’ll keep that in mind.

Re SR:

‘Money, I learnt, was not evil in itself. It was the `lust for money` that was the root of evil. There is absolutely nothing wrong with having money. It is just a tool, it can be put to any use, noble or wicked. ‘

Excellent point and for that matter it applies to not only money but just about everything in life. The ability to balance and contain your worldly desires, I think, is one of the hardest and yet also one of the most important goals in life. Once you can achieve that - then the rest of life is smooth sailing!

Re Amber:

Although I have found every single response I received on this article very interesting and well-thought out - I will have to say that I found your responses to be the most enlightening. Perhaps because for many of us the desire to understand the truth of this world is just an idealistic goal - for you however, being in the medical profession, you are immersed in human misery and as such you truly do understand the harsh realities of this world and human life.

‘Tell me why do we deserve to live more than this child’

A question I have often wondered myself. Why does God take from one and give to another? I don’t know, but then God truly does work in mysterious, yet beautiful ways. The truth is that despite the fact that these people are stripped of everything in life as compared to us - I think in reality we are the ones condemned and they are the ones truly blessed - for as the saying goes - ‘Lose with patience in this world

and you shall gain in the hereafter’

‘BTW don’t we all have to die’

How very true - and who are we to fight destiny anyways. Instead of going into a long dissertation on destiny and free will - I will just say that I do firmly believe that our destinies are truly predetermined and

that we are all only instruments of God created only to fulfill his will.

And with that - let me say that I think that God`s will for me right now is to stop writing - so I`ll end right here!

Hey Amber,

Great to hear the news about a donor being found for Sonia. Best of luck. You WILL keep us posted on the developments there, right!?

er...

``in our small country people still fear God and [therefore] help the poor..``

C`mon..., you`re not really seious when you say that, are you?

Cheers,

Patrick

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I am sure u r content with life..and why not..some one with such celestial thoughts ought to..u r almost enviable in that respect.

bravo..!

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Re: Amber

``btw are we all not dying anyway? is it worth all the effort?``

Very well said!

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Dear Amber,

Re. post#27

``people who use escape hatches never learn personal responsibility. they taught us back at school that solving your own problems is a part of growing up. but as grown ups we figure that not many of our problems have easy, simple solutions.``

When people realize they`re engaging in escapism, they might indeed learn personal responsibility, more so indeed when they realize that it was their own choice.

In any case, I was never advocating escapism, but merely the choosing of what I deemed to be the lesser of two evils. I DO believe that traversing the path set out for you by Momma and Papa - and indeed, society - can be every bit escapist as ``running away from the problem`` (which I never proposed anyway). Nothing blinds one to the ultimate (metaphysical/spiritual) problems of life as do the artificial problems of ``scarcity`` created in consumerist cultures.

Having said that, I don`t wish to come across as Anacrchist #1. I don`t belive that mountaintops and the shade of banyan trees is where people were destined to be, except for refuelling, maybe. And I do think that there are more opportunites to find fulfillment in one`s work - without starving - now than ever before, as many of the posters here have suggested. But many also seem to be saying that fulfillment doesn`t feature very highly on the priority list spelled out by Parents Inc.

Do our prents always want the best for us? I`d question that. Maybe they all believe they do, but between the societal pressures (``Look, your mamoo`s son went to MIT``), ego-extensions (``you`re going to be the doctor I couldn`t be``) and, well, the parental caring instict (``I`m not going to let you become a philospher and starve!``), between all that, what`s best for the individual may often be quite obscured. I think it`s the minority of (South Asian esp.) parents who are enlightened, or detached, enough to truly keeps the individual`s best interests in mind. (I know I risk opening a can of worms with the term ``best interests``, but let`s just assume we have a common understanding of the term `fulfillment`, upon which it is based.)

Amber, I`m sorry I can`t offer any of the advice you`re seeking regarding Sonia. I guess what we can do for a start is raise awareness. Maybe a fund-raiser could be started at chowk...

Perhaps part of what Alternate Goals was about is the need for a change in our value systems - and by extension, our economic ones - so that children like Sonia (a tonga-owner`s daughter) can have access to the medical treatment she needs. btw, I think you are a truly blessed person to be doing all that you are for her.

I`ll take:

``see, in man`s world, money has an undeniable value! ``

with a pich of salt, since it`s not very correct to suspect one of misogamy these days.

Cheers!

Patrick

Although it is so often the case that desi parents predetermine exactly what careers their children should pursue, it is possible to change their minds. I have discovered for some time now that my parents will respond to mature, persuasive discourse. It is up to our generation to expand the horizons of our parents.

-!Kamran!-

Re: Content

I was half serious and half joking when I wrote my comment. My serious point was that even dreamers do need a steady income otherwise one faces poverty, my non-serious point was solving this through marriage for a woman. :)

However I do disagree with your comment that ``marriage is the beginning of the end for a woman``.

Just as slink mentioned, there is no reason why one can`t find intellectual and creative stimulation through marriage if one finds the right partner.

There have been countless times where I`ve discovered new interests or learned new things through activities/hobbies that my friends would do. (and vice versa) There is no reason why this can`t happen in marriage as well.

However, one situation where marriage more often than not, IS the beginning of the end for a woman, is when young girls of 16 or 17 are married off and they have a child shortly after. There I do see lots of missed potential. And most men(and their families) marry such girls because they will be more easily ``molded`` into whatever they wish.

If the woman has completed at least one university degree and then marries, than I think she will be able to hold her own intellectually.

Re: Asma

Hey Asma, I`m doing fine! So how goes the progress in your spousal role reversal? :)

Re: your last comments

``how do you know the mountain won`t crumble beneath you one day?

must we always scout out our return path and escape routes along the way?

does ``contingency planning`` always have to be part of the process?

and knowing that you must do all these things first, often makes the mountain much less attractive...

it seems that life is often crisis management, reactionary, and hence, in the end, cynical...``

I think a balance needs to be made between being entirely spontaneous and planning for as of yet unseen problems.

It`s true sometimes people ``think or plan`` and idea out the window due to overanalysis. However there are many instances where if people had just put a little thought into something before, the current crisis wouldn`t be nearly as bad.

Saving for a rainy day qualifies as one in my opinion. I really disagree with the ``spend now worry later`` philosophy that prevails in our credit card driven culture. If one loses their job, they can`t even make it past one month without a paycheque.

I believe people should at least attempt to plan for major events/purchases/lifestyle changes in their life. But at the same time if some of those plans have to change radically, accept it and move on. But being without a plan in the first place is the equivalent of attempting to cross an ocean without naviagation equipment.

With planning at least the basic voyage is agreed upon, now if storms, sea monsters and the like emerge, you deal with them as they come but at least know what you intended to do in the first place!

Regards,

Fozia Zaidi

Regards,

Fozia Zaidi

During a friend`s graduation ceremony I attended a few weeks ago, I realized how the strain of expectations itself determines where one is headed. My friend`s father - in his less-than-meticulously worded speech - mentioned how it was always his dream to have a son graduate in the ``most honorable of professions: medicine, since it is the saver of lives.``

Being an art director in the field of advertising and filmmaking, the comment made me understand how fortunate I was indeed to have parents who persuaded me to follow art SIMPLY because it was my passion (the fact that the only thing I had written on my final Physics BSc paper was the proctor`s sketch had something to do with it as well). It seems logical enough to claim that if you like doing something, you`ll do a better job of doing it, which is the one lesson missing from our schooling.

Besides which, you can save lives regardless of which profession you`re a part of, which makes it all the more interesting to determine which is the ``noblest career of them all.`` Last week I comleted an international ad campaign for a group that clears landmines in Vietnam.

``Choose life. Choose a job. Choose a career. Choose a family. Choose a big fucking television...choose rotting away at the end of it all. Choose your future. Choose life. But why would I want to do a thing like that?``

- Irwine Welsh, Trainspotting.

shandana:

re: make sure you climb a mountain you can come down from in the dark

these are very beautiful and wise words but my question is how can you be sure? I mean ever really sure that you can come down from all the various mountains you climb in life (not just career...)

how do you know the mountain won`t crumble beneath you one day?

must we always scout out our return path and escape routes along the way?

does ``contingency planning`` always have to be part of the process?

and knowing that you must do all these things first, often makes the mountain much less attractive...

it seems that life is often crisis management, reactionary, and hence, in the end, cynical...

and one final thought... no one tries to do marriage the ``wrong`` way; we just do the best we know how... life (often) does not turn out how we planned or thought it would... we just try to cope and being optimistic humans (or else we wouldn`t have made it in the race of survival of the fittest), try again and hope for the best the next time around...

- someone who has had a couple of (what I thought were strong and sturdy) mountains crumble from beneath me...

dear content,

an article most people can relate to. that switch went off in my head in my undergrad years and the little career train family etc had wished to put me on derailed but 4 years down the line i am the one who wishes to get back on. its not that i wish to ignore the metaphysical, figure out the reason why some of the idiots i know exist, it`s just that i`ve realized you dont need to be in any particular place to do it. i think temporal mentioned earlier that you just need to strike a balance.
i couldn`t help noticing you comment about marriage being the beginning of the end for a woman. that is very very far from the truth. marry someone who loves, excites and stimulates you and you`ll realise marriage is a doorway to a whole new world. that is, if you do it right :)

good luck, when doing the yogi thing, make sure you climb a mountain you can come down from in the dark.
shandana

This philosophy was not available to us in the `70s, and `60s so please don`t blame our generation. Go sit on your mountain.

Incidentally, anchors do not drag ships down into the deep . . .

great stuff