An Inward Journey to Pakistan - Part 2

One question, why are we always obsessed with someone who treats us like that?

Re: Uzi

``kamran im quite disappointed in your willingness to bask in that which really isnt all that admirable (and not to mention - not true)``

What makes you think I was ``basking``? I wasn`t basking! Just was away from computers for 5 days on vacation.

What`s not admirable and untrue was not spoken by me, I don`t think. It`s replies feeding upon replies, Uzma.

Are you settling into the new school year yet?

-!Kamran!-

Re: Bina

``It`s amusing for a while, but as Kamran probably feels, it gets pretty boring fast. I suspect that beneath the ``condescending attitude`` that you point out, there`s at least a tiny bit of amusement and/or enjoyment of all the attention.``

Bina, my soul-mate! How dost thou know me so well? (Sorry, trying to imitate Zahra with the archaic usage) :)

As for girls being suckers for mush, oh, I don`t know... don`t you guys like a bit of mush too?

We luv it, beens. (got back from chicago. details soon).

-!K!-

Sac:

Thanks, but no thanks.

Kant Patel:

Ha ha! No, I can`t say I`ve been watching any special editions of any Indian movies. Actually, I hate most Indian movies. I don`t understand them, when they start crying they never stop, the dances bore me silly, and ... well, the list goes on. I hate them all.

Re: Bina #38

``....the hero of some cheap Indian movie playing in their (you mean his!) minds.``

I have seen a lot of heroes in lot of Indian movies whistling and singing at a mere sight of a young attractive girl, but fondling themselves?

Nay, not because they wouldn`t have the urge or courage, but because it would not pass through the ever-watchful eyes of the Indian Censor Board. Now, you may have watched some pirated movies that may have skirted round the ICB`s watch-dogs.

Just relax & ignore those ignorant souls.

Kant..........

Dear Bina:

May I suggest a tour of some the following as an educational experience in ``typical`` male behaviour:

a)Rome at any time of the year.

b)London. Leicester Sq after 11PM on a weekend.

c)New York. The Wall St bar around 7PM.

d)Frat/sorority row of any midsize college town like Ann Arbor or Madison.

e)Cancun, around Spring break.

f)Princeton locker room after a Yale-Princeton football game.

g)Trading floors of all the venerated firms on Wall Street.

h)Barbados: Most beaches.

Need I enumerate more. I am tired of hearing about ``typical`` Pakistani male behaviour. For all their lack of a sophisticated veneer, Pakistani males as a group are no better and no worse than their counterparts in other parts of the world. Otherwise you and most others like you wouldn`t be waiting this long for the knight in shining armor to appear from the ``land of the pure`` :-)

Ibne Sina:

Well, this kind of thing goes on for both sexes. I`ve had occasions where I go into a chatroom and the guys will fall all over themselves to attract my attention - they`ll flirt, fight amongst themselves, try to outdo each other. It`s amusing for a while, but as Kamran probably feels, it gets pretty boring fast. I suspect that beneath the ``condescending attitude`` that you point out, there`s at least a tiny bit of amusement and/or enjoyment of all the attention. I can confess to feeling the same thing at times, though I don`t think anyone`s ever blatantly had a catfight on my behalf in any of my Replies sections!

As for girls being suckers for mush, oh, I don`t know... don`t you guys like a bit of mush too?

Bina :)

UZMA & FOZIA#

Whether a woman flirts to win bread as hosstesses or some million of other reasons or (sometimes may be self indulgence) an intelligent men(from your generalizations it seems you have yet to meet some)knows very well ,he is not that dumb to think ``SHE HAS CRUSH ON ME.``There are all kinds of men & women.If you make yourself look very ``MEMSAHIB``by walking in the streets of Karachi gule kuche,men have women falling for him all over them in colleges,hospitals ,corporate head quarters BUT i have not met a women who admitted what her INTENTIONS were.And look at you, reading the mind of men what they think,intentions,motives.Go ahead do what you want to do,flirt,enjoy company,friendship,colleagues etc,just DONT EXPLAIN yourself you dont have to!!!

Re: Fozia, Bina, Uzma

Sorry I had to get your attention that way, but I had to point out how the author himself was responding to your replies. I thought that his responses (#30) dealt with all the female interactors in a condescending fashion (as Bina pointed out is habitual with many desi men). He was treating you like you were flirting with him and he was the big stud in town. But you have set that straight now.

As Uzma said rightly, there`s not much to be proud of in this fictional account. And subtlety really pays, after all real achievers are usually understated.

cheers,

Typical Pakistani male mentality. Every woman in Pakistan knows that if she walks down the street with less than an angry glare, men will think she is in love with them... they start to whistle, sing, and fondle themselves, no doubt they are the hero of some cheap Indian movie playing in their minds.

Go get a life!

Bina.

Statesman,

You say

``You are wrong about your ASS U ME,``she is harbouring secret crush on him?``Availability of women in airplane or sales

girl,receptionist to all hostesses etc.pander to the males need & desire,not that they have crush,but they know they can

provide legally bonus for whatever goal she may have.``

Your statement above reaffirms what I`d been stating that men have a tendency to assume a woman`s intentions in dealing with men. Did it ever occur to you why the friendly waitress is working may have more to do with having young children to support and apartment rent to pay than ``pandering to males needs``?

Did it ever occur to you that she may be ``friendly`` simply because it is a requirement of ``good customer service`` on the part of her employer and that both male and female waiter/waitresses are expected to smile when they talk to a customer?

My previous statement of ``every guy`` assuming a friendly girl has a crush on him is an exaggeration but I do think many jump to that conclusion quickly.

Yes there are times when a woman is being deliberatly flirtatious with a guy. Trust me I know these things - I`m a perfectly normal lady. :) However there are other times when she really is just being friendly in a relaxed and comfortable manner. But the guy has already begun to inflate his ego and think that he`s doing her a big favor by talking to her or that she`s got a crush on him. Shania Twain`s song `` You Don`t Impress Me Much`` comes to mind.

Actually before I put down only men with this, there are some women who get a little too dreamy because some guy came over and said hi to them as well. Such women spend SO much time dwelling on how he said hi, and will he come back, getting weak knee-ed - the works. Instead of being a nervous wreck - just assume the ``worst`` i.e he just though you were a nice person and came over to say hi and go over and talk to him like a normal person. If he had other intentions than she`ll be sure to hear from him again otherwise she just made a new nice male friend. End of story.

Cheers,

Fozia

Kamran,

Sorry I didn`t comment on your actual article earlier, this is an improvement over your other submissions to Chowk. I rather like the flashbacks to Saima - kinda romantic.

However I do find that you have a very strong condescending theme in your writing. I often get the impression that you are trying to come across as a very refined and sophisticated desi due to your personal family wealth and exposure to the west.

Your references to items such as ``The Navy driver``, ``posh hotel`` and obvious wealth (such as six figure salary etc) comes across as showing off.

Real sophistication comes when such things aren`t even mentioned. They don`t need to be mentioned. Some of the most refined people I have ever met (yes these are desi people too) are those that didn`t even mention what their parents/spouses did until I`d known them for months. Just a passing reference that ``they are well settled`` or have a ``good job``.

So next time try to make your references to wealth, status etc a bit more subtle.

Regards,

Fozia

Fozia#

Before i can agree with your ``Diagnosis``of flirtatious or not,i need to know whether you are man,women,or bi..A man KNOWS when he is & also when his ``object``is also.You may have a blind spot about it depending...

You are wrong about your ASS U ME,``she is harbouring secret crush on him?``Availability of women in airplane or sales girl,receptionist to all hostesses etc.pander to the males need & desire,not that they have crush,but they know they can provide legally bonus for whatever goal she may have.

re: ibne sina

I didn`t see anything overly flirtatious about

uzma and bina`s responses to Kamran. Why is it

everytime a girl is friendly with a guy he ``assumes`` it`s because she`s harbouring a secret crush on him?

Cheers,

Fozia

Re: All who wanted to know about Pakistan Navy`s presense in Lahore.

The reason for Pakistan Navy having a presence in Lahore has to do with Pakistan Navy`s Naval War College (NWC), which is located in Lahore and is entrusted with imparting practical and theoretical knowledge to PN officers on warfare.

Besides this, there are three other armed forces colleges. There is joint armed forces college in Islamabad; a PAF air war college in Karachi, which is different from the PAF Academy in Rislpur and a army staff college in Quetta.

Hope this explains the mystery why Pakistani Navy has guest houses in Lahore!!

Interesting account but I felt that it was contrived and at least partly fictitious. But it was interesting fiction.

What I found even more interesting was the way female interactors have been scrambling to get your attention. I guess they are all girls underneath afterall, all that facade of sophistication on their part went so quickly down the drain. It must be the day-dream sequences in your narrative, the mix of mushy romanticism and occasional sexuality. Plus the impression of being affluent and resourceful also helps.

Hell every TV channel has a soap opera like this going on, with gals following guys. What is funny is that gals in real life can be so much like those predictable soap opera characters.

To the gals: I don`t blame you, girls are suckers for mush, whether it is real or not.

To Kamran: You da man! Go dude go! You`ve got quite a few prospects here, I hope you score dude!