The Interview

Oh I forgot the Business Week Article :

EWS FLASH

APRIL 3, 2000

Pakistan Does an About-Face on bin Laden

To end its isolation, it will ask Afghanistan turn the suspected terrorist over



Moinuddin Haider, Pakistan`s Interior Minister, says the ``first thing`` he will do when he returns home from his trip to the U.S. is travel to Afghanistan to try to convince the Taliban regime to hand over Osama bin Laden and close his terrorist training camps.

The Taliban has been sheltering bin Laden, who is wanted in the U.S. on terrorism charges stemming from the 1998 bombings of two U.S. embassies in east Africa. The Afghanistan government has refused to hand him over for trial, saying the U.S. lacks convincing proof of his involvement. But Haider, a retired lieutenant general and head of Pakistan`s internal security, intelligence units, police, and paramilitary forces, says he`ll tell the Taliban that harboring bin Laden is ``not worth the price it is paying`` in diplomatic and economic isolation.

PARTNERS AGAIN? So why is Pakistan, after years of supporting Afghanistan and refusing U.S. requests, suddenly enthusiastic about helping to capture bin Laden? Pakistan has been isolated diplomatically since General Pervez Musharraf took power in a military coup last year and is desperate to have its international credibility -- and international loans -- restored. President Clinton, on his visit to Pakistan in March, urged Pakistan to help deliver bin Laden and promised a return to ``economic and diplomatic partnership`` if it did.

Pakistani officials traveling with Haider say the bulk of Clinton`s private discussions with him focused on counterterrorism. Haider arrived in the U.S. on Mar. 31 for a five-day visit, during which he had meetings scheduled with his counterpart, Federal Bureau of Investigation Director Louis Freeh, and other U.S. security officials. He also came to the U.S. to urge Pakistani nationals living here to register for new national I.D. cards -- part of Pakistan`s upgraded security measures to catch terrorists.

By Sheri Prasso in New York

EDITED BY DOUGLAS HARBRECHT

Just to show you a normal Islamic family which you obviously didnot have since your mother (and father and now you yourself are) attended Rat-Gutters instead of Rutgers ......

My parents NEVER HIT ME!!!!!!!!!!!

They never forced Islam on me ... but they did pray in front of me.....

My mother is a lady doctor and also a leading bureaucrat in the Government of Punjab .........

I am sure she will disagree with you various comments ...

I mention her with full knowledge that Shiraz is going to take it upon himself to slander her ....

but remember ... filth cant reach the sky !!!!!!

I must cry foul. As a Pearl Jam fan, and someone who has been to their concerts, I can safely say you won`t see any girls taking off their tops. Pearl Jam fans are smarter than your average rock-heads.

Islamabad Police department is under interior minister, MH.

From Associated Press, May 22, 00

Pakistani Police Advise Women

ISLAMABAD, Pakistan (AP) -- The capital`s police chief urged women to cover their heads, dress simply and refrain from laughing loudly in public to avoid attracting criminals and trouble makers, a newspaper reported Monday.

Women and girls should keep a low profile to keep any would-be criminals away, said Nasir Durrani, according to the Urdu-language newspaper The Jang.

``Keep a serious and stern expression on your faces when you go to the market, parks and other public places,`` The Jang quoted Durrani as telling students of a women`s college in the capital, Islamabad. Decent clothing, including a head covering, is also a natural defense for a woman, he said.

In Pakistan, where the army took power last year, there has been a growing influence of Islamic parties. In some parts of the Northwest Frontier Province, which borders Afghanistan, there has been a growing Taliban movement espousing the same strict brand of Islamic law adhered to by Afghanistan`s Taliban rulers.

In Afghanistan, women are not allowed to work, girls older than 8 may not attend school, and women in public must wear a burqa, or a head-to-toe shroud that veils their face. They also must only travel with a male relative.

Dear Shiraz K.B.,

I`ve no desire to ``fudge with you``-- literally or otherwise. Really! As my earlier response indicates, I was only confused as to who/what you were targretting through your satire. If MH was being being pilloried solely for his volte face on Osama, well, he was doing what any politician in his circumstances would and play to the gallery. So I felt the character assasination was a tad unfair, irresponsible even.

Your many earlier attacks on the hypocrisy of the Muslims/Islam were penetrating and thought provoking, and often exposed realities we`d rather hide from ourselves. But here one got the impression you were more interested SOLELY in clowning around, which is all right except when you bring religion in. Surely you didn`t expect kudos for riducling people`s cherished notions?

BTW, the ``talent-laden`` description was not an allusion to this `interview`, (though I can see why you might have thought it so the allusion to ``true fiction``), but to a short story (I called it ``dizzily mesmerizing`` too, which your interview was not, by any stretch). IMO, this piece of yours was not exactly dripping with the talent you DO possess. I can readily believe that much better specimens of your work exist in the chowk pipeline, but the staff seem to be confusing publish-worthiness with polemic potential lately.

Frankly, I think this piece got worse press than it merited. It wasn`t the best piece sstylistically that has graced the chowk`s Main Page, and it couldn`t make up its mind whether it was out to bash MH or Islam, but ``wretched piece`` is, I think, going into overkill.

There is nothing wrong with wanting attention (that`s a normal human trait IMO), but buddy, make up your mind what kind of attention it is you want and are virtually asking for.

As for ``when a woman takes her top off at a Pearl Jam concert, is she asking to be raped?`` well, we can discuss the significance of symbolic gestures and customary signals if you`d like. Remember Mike Tyson`s first conviction? By coming to his room (on invitation) after midnight, what was the woman saying to Mike if not ``Yes, I`ll go to bed with you (or at least make you think so till I can sue your rich ass for a couple o` million)``? Of course, th US where the male eroticism is essentially demonized, Tyson got five years because, presumably, the lady didn`t exactly say ``okay, you can now touch me``

...awaiting the feminists` ire...

regards,

PM

``kudos``

``your wretched article.``

``i`m not trashing you``

``i look forward to seeing more of your [...] works.``

Okay I write this thing in five minutes and send the first draft out to everyone including chowk (knowing they would not accept) [fudge NOW I am getting really defensive] and you give me a classic snapshot of schizophrenia.

There is another person here who goes ``Dont pay attention to him`` and posts response upon response just telling people ``Do NOT post! I am posting to tell you NOT to pay attention to him``. Then there is the case of people calling my piece ``talent laden`` behind my back and not saying a kind word on this forum itself (what is it PM ? you want to fudge with me too? ok forget I asked maybe you literally and really do).

Then there are others who post just to tell me how much I stink how ``sick`` this piece really is.

Allegations about my mother being ``illiterate`` are flying around - (she is a psychiatrist they dont make psychiatrists out of people who attend Rat-gutters - good luck!) then there is that about my father being ``abusive`` (I mean how many of your parents have NOT quoted ``if the child reaches the age of seven command him to pray if at ten he still refuses then beat him``) Whose parents are not abusive here? We are talking about a normal Islamic family here people. Give me a break. Everyone has been physically abused by their parents here , right ? A chamatta (slap) here and a thappar (slap) there - come on? Dont make me fell all lonely here ...

This ``not so funny`` piece has gone all the way to ``Man behen par utar ai hai`` (it has to my mother and sisters).

I have feelings also :( I am a struggling funkar (artist) you know - I need a little love here and there (preferably from the women - by the way my number is ...)

this little parody or whatchamacallit wasn`t funny at all. It was a stupid call for attention, as though the author was yelling ``look at me! i`m talking about islam and naked women and politics and trying to make a point but just causing stupid controversy! amen!``

i have to say though, mr. kahani baaz, you sure did open a rotten can of worms. the stink is almost tangible. kudos if that was the purpose of your wretched article.

now don`t get me wrong here, i`m not trashing you, just expressing myself. i look forward to seeing more of your mildly amusing pseudo-erotic works.

;)

just a thought: why do people have to bring Islam into every piece of ``wanna-be`` filth that they write? LEAVE RELIGION ALONE FOR GOD`S SAKE!

or if you do have to bring religion into it, give it some thought please.

kapeesh

Re: Solitude, #20

``the iSSSlameKKK RipubliKKK of PaKKKIsatan``

There`s no bigger fool than the one who thinks he`s very smart. It appears that you think you`re very smart.

[ *unroping whip *]

[ *swinging it around head aiming for a group of whining sanctimonious crowd *]

[ *lash lash *]

``Chal ghoray chal`` (go horsey go)

Down boys and girls. This is story is not about Moinuddin Haider. This is the interview with MH who happens to be an interior minister. He has some qualities in common with Moinuddin Haider. But MH and Moinuddin Haider are two different people.

So you lovers of Osama bin Ladin - you fantasizers of men in uniform - you groupies of men who run the Pakistani ISI (the godfathers of the Taliban) Oh you who are aroused by bearded men spewing Arabic hate I feel sorry. Sorry for the times the Zamindars of Pakistan walk around in Chanel Dupattas through the Louvre but never shared art with you. Sorry for the times soldiers humiliated and kicked you in public - kicked your choice and your elected.

Never shared tolerance with you, never shared imagination with you, never shared anything but frustration and anger and a severe sobriety. Ran you like a boot camp where poets and writers were assasinated at the slightest liberties taken.

What you talk about in your drawing rooms we write about. What you say and then censor with ``we don`t talk about things like that in public`` - the stuff you hush your children about is the stuff we weave. All for what ? so that we may flirt with your daughters - over the brutes who walk around with guns and talk of high inhuman morals.

Unfortunately ... the chowk people also censored my reference to your ``much abused`` childhood ... it is my understanding that your current state of mind is caused by a ``very unhappy childhood`` ... an ``abusive`` father and an illiterate oppressed mother .....

Pakistan is not what you will like to portray it to be !!!!

-Yasser Hamdani

Even though the comments of MH are fabricated, I think the point that A. SHiraz was trying to make was that MH is a prize ass and a bumbling idiot, of which there is no doubt.

Rubbish.

``Be good``

``it might have been accpetable humour``

``i dont think mah puddy deserves this ... cuz mah puddy hurts - ooh mah puddy hurts``

``don`t know whether to laugh or to cry``

So the next piece would have to do with the Pakistani sense of humor and our ability to laugh at ourselves and others (but mostly at others).



Dear loving and kind and gentle and nourishing readership,

I was born to provide you with proper and decent and ``acceptable`` kind of humor. My mother roped my father into her web of seduction so that she may produce a clown who will gorify the gories of the iSSSlameKKK RipubliKKK of PaKKKIsatan.

It sounds like mental diarrhoea,crampless,copious and odourless.

Please shiraz you can do better than this.Give us something better to read.

Lt. Gen Moinuddin Haider has never expressed the kind of views that are being satirized here.

This is not sarcasm.

This is slander.

Chowk editors must be sleeping on the job.

Would they wake up and explain why they published this article.

I certainly would`nt call this article funny, sick is more like it. Now I know why they don`t publish ur articles, can`t seem to understand why this one made it.