The Dinner Guest

guilty as charged

#17
Temporal

Temporal, where is this from? Not your own?:)

``Hay ki kiya taareef karouN
hay bhee aur nahiN bhee hay
yahaN hay aur oodhar bhee hay
agar na hota tou bhee hota
aq’l o feh’m maiN na hota
tou khaab o naf’s main hota
suna hay
woh Mohammed bhee hay
aur oos ka Rehman bhee hay
kabhi Ram hay kabhi Bud’h hay
kabhi tujh maiN hay
kabhi muj’h main hay
gharaz, jidhar talak pohanch hay
khayalat ka taana baana jata hay
hur taraf bus woh hee woh hay. ``

Another damn poem!

Re: temporal #17

I`m sorry, but this ``joke`` of yours is in very poor taste. Apology not accepted.

=== Interact Filtered ===
view this users filtered interacts

Dear Kaneez,

I started really enjoying your poem halfway down, when the play with language grew tighter. There is an echo of Emily Dickenson`s darkness in your lines; the sun and the boil filled with pus. What a comparison. There are also some other truly origninal lines:

bunsen burners under their bottoms is my fav.

also cone heads pinioned with brylcreem. My favourite verse is the one with the police quote. I think that your enjambment or line breaks are right on the mark.

In the beginning, if you will allow some criticism, you seem to be straining at fitting the rhyme in because you`ve chucked out some definite and indefininte articles. like (a) and (the). Perhaps a little editing will fix that.

Love Mahim.

Omarphoenix 14:

[... On another note, the greatness of Urdu lies with the fact that the word ``is`` or ``Hai`` can and very often, does lie at the end of the sentence. This is not true of English. The result, whereas Urdu can be poetic, philosophical and much more fluidic, English cannot reach that level...]

Haven’t you heard this.

A man dies and goes up there. When he is brought before the Mighty One, this man begs to ask one question first before his fate is decided. Permission was granted.

He asks, “Is you black or is you white?”

“I am what I am,” comes the reply.

“Is you black or is you white?” he repeats.

“I am what I am, my child.”
``Come on man. level with me, man is you black or is you white.”

With just a tinge of irritation comes the reply, “ Listen carefully my child, I did not say I is what I is!”

(Apologies to those who can’t enjoy this. Admittedly, this has a distinctly North American flavour.)

regards,

t

PS: Also, did you add the snails and plecostomus?

PPS: As for your attempted insinuations against this language, since I am I am biased in favour of both the languages I will leave that for hamid or someone else to reply. Paging hamidm!

PPPS:

Hay ki kiya taareef karouN
hay bhee aur nahiN bhee hay
yahaN hay aur oodhar bhee hay
agar na hota tou bhee hota
aq’l o feh’m maiN na hota
tou khaab o naf’s main hota
suna hay
woh Mohammed bhee hay
aur oos ka Rehman bhee hay
kabhi Ram hay kabhi Bud’h hay
kabhi tujh maiN hay
kabhi muj’h main hay
gharaz, jidhar talak pohanch hay
khayalat ka taana baana jata hay
hur taraf bus woh hee woh hay.

Hi Kaneez

I am quite speechless with the creative brillance and empathy in this poem.

..... i have never written a poem, but now i am tempted to .... but may the good lord strike me deader than byron before i torment his creation with bad verse ....... i suggest all would-be poets post their stuff on http://www.coffeeshoptimes.com/badpoet.html so that rsaxena and urstruly can get on with the important stuff ........ i give it five more posts before we hear from the hyenas that prowl the LOC ..

Dear Kaneez,

Man! that was neat. I loved the flow; flowed like green phlegm down a child`s gullet. Beutiful. You gotta tell us the inspirations, mechanics and the dynamics behind the work.

On another note, the greatness of Urdu lies with the fact that the word ``is`` or ``Hai`` can and very often, does lie at the end of the sentence. This is not true of English. The result, whereas Urdu can be poetic, philosophical and much more fluidic, English cannot reach that level.

T, I`m hoping you`ll correct me at my ignorance:-)

Take care

Omar Phoenix

Nice. I`d be lying if I said I understood everything though. Some parts flowed the way they do in Dr.Seuss`s poems. I think that did it for me.

Peace

sac #8:

[... Pardon my ignorance but what is a `daishatgard`?..]

Try deh-shut-gurd. Terrorist.

[...Come on man get out of your funk. You are becoming as incomprehensible as George Bush...]

OK. Since you brought it up....

---Slave/Servant of the Generous One: Kaneez Rehman
---Pleonastic: n; The use of more words than are required to express an idea; redundancy.
---Redundant: of or involving redundancy in the transmission of messages. (OK: Will admit this to be an in joke also between Kaneez, Rehan and I.
---delphic: obscurely prophetic
---oracular: obscure.
---apocryphal: of questionable authorship or authenticity (my attempt at self-deprecating humour)
---enigmatic:of or resembling an enigma; puzzling


And do you still think I am/was incomprehensible as in ---(a) Difficult or impossible to understand or comprehend; unintelligible or (b) Impossible to know or fathom?

(sigh)

The other shoe is yet to drop. Come on hamidm, get it over with.

regards

temporal

Great poem Kaneez. Pardon my ignorance but what is a `daishatgard`?

And temporal: Come on man get out of your funk. You are becoming as incomprehensible as George Bush.

later

-sac

``Kaneez Rahman

Hay sab say uper``

Taahmed Sahib,

Lagta hai aap bhi Kaneez Sahiba ki verbal imagery sey meri tureh buhat mutaasir haay hain... Adaab :)

Sincerely,

Asim

Fascinated by the mix and match of languages; ever noticed how people are even beginning communicate like this! I foresee emergence of a new language.

Kaneez....i am always so completely imperessed with how you use your words/experiences and it seems to capture my life. Amazing word-smith.

Excellent. Well done.

oh god, this was fabulous...absolutely luridly fabulous.

i can`t say more for fear of cheapen-ing my own words. infact, you`ve said it all. there should be no deconstruction..just feeling. you get it or you dont...and baby, you got it.


rizvi.

Slave/Servant of the Generous One:

Pleonastic?

rehanhasanansarirehanhasanansarirehanhasanansari#4

Redundant?


tahmed321#2:

Hunh?

temporal:

delphic?
oracular?
apocryphal?
enigmatic?

temporal #280 I am providing below the rationale for my considering Haroon`s article to be uninsightful and one-sided (per my post #243), as follows. It is my honest assessment which I hope you will give a fair hearing and not sweep aside as being the result of my living in the US. Haroon attributes the 9/11 disaster to ``American complicity in injustice, lethal and measurable, on several fronts``, which he lists as follows:

1. ``The Israeli-Palestinian conflict...`` Nothing new here. He could have provided some insights if he had the courage to answer the following types of questions: Is Arafat and his government blameless in all this? Has it not had the chance to demonstrate good governance in the bit of land it was given to begin with, and did it not blow the chance by proceeding to act like any other corrupt government? Has it shown statemanship in dealing with this issue? What is in the best interests of the next generation of Palestinians - years of conflict, early deaths, violence and disruption of economic activity or peace and progress? Is land even a significant factor of production in any other than the most primitive agricultural economies? Shouldnt the Palestinians therefore trade land for learning and economic progress just as the Israelis were once willing to trade land for peace?

All Haroon does is avoid any such questions and just repeat the same stuff one can pick and read in any Pakistani newspaper, English or Urdu, whether dated 2001 or dated 1951 or hear from any of the 140 million Pakistani geostrategists.

2. ``The decade-long American-led economic sanctions on Iraq...`` These are UN sanctions that Pakistan supports too, albeit as a follower not as a leader. Does being a follower mean Pakistan is morally at a higher plane? And if not, should we therefore ``understand`` if someone targets innocent people in Pakistan?

3. ``The mess in Afghanistan where the CIA recruited and trained the likes of bin Laden to overturn the Soviet occupation but dumped them once that mission impossible was accomplished. ``

The CIA recruited Pakistan`s ISI, and ISI recruited and trained these people. When the US left after the Soviet occupation, it is Pakistan that spawned and funded and gave rise to the Taliban. Gen Hamid Gul, the man behind this, continues to do this with the religious groups, at the cost of the future stability of Pakistan society I may add. But I see no word of these publicly known facts and real-life issues in Haroon`s article. He is content, like so many other people in Pakistan, to simply point his finger at the US (ignoring the four fingers that are then pointed at Pakistan).

4. ``American strategic alliances with the military and monarchical dictatorships of Algeria, Turkey and Egypt, as well as the oil-rich Arab states, all of whom crush even the smallest steps towards democratization.`` Have these countries ever had a democracy in history? Is not bootlicking, the VIP culture, the ``invisible`` poor, the glorification of the ``martial spirit``, all part of the cultural impediments to democracy in muslim countries? The enemy is not the US, it is us!!

5. ``Add the American sanctions on Iran, Sudan and Libya, ``the rogue states,`` plus the miseries of Bosnia, Chechnya and Kashmir, and you begin to grasp the utter dismay, and sense of helplessness, gripping the peoples of all these lands.`` Does the US owe any country an open economy? And are Iran, Sudan and Libya anywhere close to being civilized states (I grant you Iran is edging in the right direction, but only slowly and under pressure from it`s population who are fed up of the rule of the clerics)?

``It goes without saying, but bears repeating, that no grievance can ever justify what happened last week. But the apologists for America and its allies are disingenuous in advancing the racist notion, with nauseating regularity, that the victims burst out in anger because their religion rewards them for it.``

This is the opposite of what everyone from President Bush down to ordinary schoolteachers have been saying. Mosques have been sprouting up all over the US (due to the influx of immigrants from muslim countries), and muslims of all sects are more free to practice their religion. This is more than can be said for most muslim countries.

So, by ignoring such questions, Haroon`s article is one-sided and uninsightful in my view. I would be interested in what you think of the rationale I have provided above for rejecting your buddy`s article.

Super duper super

Kaneez Rahman

Hay sab say uper

Kaneez Rahman Kaneez Rahman

Count me your number one fan

phew....

interesting roller coaster ride through a poem straining to rhyme.....

Once again Kaneez Rehman comes out swinging
with both hands AND feet. I enjoyed the verbal
acrobatics here.
Such intensity is always expected from this
writer.

Ras