Desi: The False Ideology

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Reply #: 1214

shankar

``Youre right about the gujju`s ability to make money. I sincerely believe if India`s finance minister were all gujjus; we would be better off even than Japan, today.``

hey shankar...why are u ignoring your marwari cousins staying in rajasthan just above u!!!! haven`t the marus made it big?????

gymnophist: ``It would of course be better if you had some analytic capabilities ........``

i think u did enough analysis for all n+1 of us..........

aamir.......well let no one say u didn`t do ur bit for chowk and getting us over 1190....u wouldn`t happen to be related to yasir by any chance, would u?

Latif Chappu: ``Re: 1108 Semipreciousme

Thank you brother but next time break it up into five pieces please? Let`s use our heads people! This is no time to panic!``

.......will do, but that`s sister to u :)

Aamir bhaijaan,

I messed up. I admit it.

Yours regretfully

EK

re: My Archery Coach # 1212

This is too funny!

I guess the name Bilal tripped me up...For me there is only one real Bilal on Chowk and he happens to go by the name of Bilal Ahmed.

And the state of my frontal lobe notwithstanding, I was trying to be (quite unsuccessfully I see) sarcastic with regard to number of posts being taken as a measure of an author`s `popularity.`

We live, but we dont learn :)

Honorable teacher, I remain humbly,

Your Princeton Archery Student,

EK

egalitarian_brahmin,

Youre right about the gujju`s ability to make money. I sincerely believe if India`s finance minister were all gujjus; we would be better off even than Japan, today.

Gujjus, like their neighboring cousins Sindhis, have gone all over the world & have money--regardless of what type of govt. I know a Gujju who made money in the Communist Soviet Union--right from the 70s! He sold Indian handicrafts to the Communist elite. I wont be surprised if there is a Gujju owned grocery store in North Korea:)

Eventhough they make a lot of money, they like to live very modestly--so its pretty hard to tell which Gujju is fabulously wealthy by just looking at him or his lifestyle. In Bombay, at least.

In my primary schooldays, I used to go to the same school (Hill Grange) as the Ambani brothers (of Reliance fame). We used to all beg to go to their house, because he had the only authentic table tennis table in his house. Besides he used to live in the tallest ``skyscraper`` in Bombay in the 70s--Usha Kiran. That building was in one of Bombay`s classiest neighborhoods (Altamount Rd). Those guys were fabulously wealthy even in those days. We were all very impressed at the swanky building & the classy ``phoren`` made cars in the parking lot.

However, when I actually stepped in his flat, it was decorated very simply, no different than the gujjus in my building--I had tons of Gujju friends/neighbors. I`ve seen Anil Ambani coming to play in bare feet :) Thats what I like the most about Gujjus; no snobbishness ``because I have money``.

Also, theyre born capitalists. If youre a Gujju, you could sell a comb to a bald man:) People (esp local maharasthrians) are very jealous of them . Thats why, in Bombay , at least, the term ``bania`` means Gujju. I`m surprised that in Chowk (& maybe in Pakistan?? bania means, all hindus).

The bottom line is ,``more power to them``. Theyre 10 times better than those goddamned ``ghatis``; who have screwed up Bombay, with their frikking Shiv Sena politics & goondebazi. Come to think of it, I dont think I`ve ever come across a Gujju goonda:) That prejudice against Gujjus is no different than the prejudice Jews encountered in Europe.

I have one VERY SERIOUS complaint about Gujjus, though. I used to DREAD that goddamned Navratri. A guy cant get a wink of sleep on those days because of your frikking dandya ras. Besides, havent you noticed that the guy & gal who have the worst frikking voice always volunteer to sing those goddamned Gujju dandya songs. Nine nights of sheer frikking torture.

By the time we were in high school, all the nongujju guys vowed that we`ll lock up all our banya friends in a garage, so they could`nt go to that frikking dandya . Thats when the Gujjus spilled the beans. They said ``some of the cutest girls in the neighborhood have been coming to dance. Best excuse to er.. line marao:)``

Goddamned SOB Gujjus!! Screw this S *it, the heck with sleep, WE`RE ALL GOING to dancing! Hey pass me one of those damned sticks...

Re: Tahmed321

Yes well.... its all as they say - water under the bridge. As the erstwhile Farrokh Balsara once modestly noted:

WE ARE THE CHAMPIONS MY FRIEND!

One more trade proposal for the road...

Abdul Quadir & Abdul Kalam to Russia for Anna Kournikova.

Your devious alter ego

LChappu123

Yaar Eklavya your post was bad enough to drag me out of retirement.

The Bilal Musharraf who held the reocrd is El Presidente`s el nino.

The Bilal you are referring to is Bilal Ahmed who interacts here under the handle `Bahmed`.

And if you think that the `silliness` we indulged in was motivated by a desire to somehow elevate Ms. Sarwari over whoever than I must conclude my firend Eklavya that not your thumb but rather your frontal lobe was famously amputated.

Your Princeton Archery Coach

Latif Chappu

AnNy: One more thing. No need to be afraid of wild animals since the monkeys and boars move away from people and you are in fact lucky if you see them. So enjoy your walk around Islamabad.

Re: All

So as you can all see from the post below... the 60th bottle of beer indeed was taken down by me personally.

All the allegations circulating in the media about Tahmed & I having siphoned off some bottles of beer into our personal stash are baseless & libelous. I am currently in dialog with my attornies contemplating legal action against these nefarious rumormongers.

As of now 59 bottles of beer remain on the wall and shall remain until some such time when they are necessitated to be removed. Until then Tahmed & I stall retain the right to use the removed bottles at our discretion. Needless to say the said bottles will be used solely for the betterment of general society.

Now if you will all excuse me I have a long off-season ahead of me.

Your tired coach

Latif Chappu

A quick response (hopefully will write more later) to some people:

Latif Chappu: I knew Chowk Staff would do it`s best to stop the record from being broken. I agree, MVP goes to AAmir (ylh seems to have gone home in the meantime, probably to study for his South Asian History and Great Man Studies exams). On RSaxena`s objections, I guess our posts did interfere with the serious business of dragging Indo-Pak relations into the gutter as some folks are dedicated to on Chowk.

Egalitarian Brahman: Maybe you could put the Bombay pictures on the internet sometime. I plan to go to Bombay one day. And other parts of India too. My niece did it last year (on her own) and she can now write a book on it. Incidentally, they do have water sport a few miles from Islamabad as well. Also, for more on Islamabad, please check out the story on Islamabad wildlife in my response to AnNy below. Glad folks in Bhuj are moving on with their lives after the earthquake.

AnNY: (since you have an emergency question regarding the Islamabad tiger): You may walk fearlessly. No tigers have been reported on Margalla. A leopard was reported 20 years ago, but he must have retired to Florida by now. An occassional wild boar may cross your path early morning, but wild boars dont eat people (dont get it mad though). Really early, you CAN hear the majestic roar of the LION. But this LION is in a cage, no problem. It shares the tiny Islmabad zoo with other rare and exotic creatures like chicken, ducks and even a goat!! To see monkeys, go for a walk on E-Sector (I forget the road`s name, right next to the Margalla) early morning past the house of the Father of Our Sacred Nuclear Bomb (I forget his name): they come down next to the sidewalk because the guards have been told to feed them. If you go for a walk at 5:30 am on that same sidewalk, you will see an elderly person(my Dad) taking his early morning walk. Generally he will have one or two other such folks with him discussing bridge. Say hi to him for me.

Aamir # 1203

``About the hits ,the last highest hit was 1189 for Bilal Musharaf ``he had no choice article`` in oct 99 .When your post had more than 1000 hits Latif Chappu,TAhmed321,& others just thaught to break that record for as you know ,Bilal is not the most popular guy in CHOWK. Simple as that.``

Oh brother! I did NOT know this was a popularity contest between Bilal (let us hope he gets better soon) and Aeisha. Ofcourse, Bilal is a hated figure and we all love Aeisha. What better proof than the number of hits on this board?

Only if I knew this earlier! I would have stopped all my other (far less important) work and posted a couple of hundred times myself, instead of sitting back and grinning away at the silliness of some leading Bilal haters, namely, tahmed321, Latif Chappu, et al.

Re: Chowk Staff

In the middle of the assault for the record, the Chowk cyber genie swallowed a whole bunch of my posts. I thankfully have the habit of saving down my posts to counter against just this eventuality.

Following I repost all my lost postings:

Re: 1108 Semipreciousme

Thank you brother but next time break it up into five pieces please? Let`s use our heads people! This is no time to panic!

We are at R minus 78 here! Push push push...

69 bottles of beer on the wall.

Re: Tahmed 1102

Steady now pardner.... steady!

Hey did you see Saxena`s post on the other thread? Looks like he`s pissed at us. We must be doing something right!

68 bottles of beer on the wall.

Re: Team

Have you guys noticed the form fields creeping into the posts? I though the Chowk bot was very averse to html tags being used? Are we seeing sighs of panic??

Go for the jugular now!

67 bottles of beer on the wall.

Re: Veeru

You didn`t double post but that`s OK! Very ethical of you brother!

99 bottles of beer on the wall is a song sung in the back of SUVs by bored American kids while in the middle of a road trip through 245 miles of dead straight road with prairie on either side.

This song is second in popularity only to `To Grandma`s house we go`.... and may be `Diarrhea`.

64 bottles of beer on the wall.

PS And you are right... this song was also part of the 1983 underground bootleg release by Floyd where Waters sand this song for 6 hours in the tour buss. The ensuing fracas famously resulted eventually in Mason, Wright & Gilmour voting Waters off the band and keeping the name. Waters is still known to sing the beer bottle song every now and then.... and guards at the loony bin in Cheshire have reported that Sid Barrett also is fond of this song.

Re: Veeru

And on my end the glaciers have been melting in earnest dangerously swelling the marauding creeks which threaten the timid red willows on their shores. The cottonwoods have fully bloomed and release their little tufts into the early summer air. As I type this I see them floating past my window reminding me of Forest Gump and stirring up a passion inside me that can only be calmed by the assurance that `bama football is just around the corner.

Your trusted munim

Latif Chappu

63 bottles of beer on the wall.

Re: Yawaah

Babe you dont seem to get the point. It is not that I am pissed off at you for `not inviting Indians here`.

The thing is... you have absolutely zero say in who comes here and doesn`t.

Get it?

Zero say!

Zip

Zilch

None

Nutn

Nada

Zippideedooda

El Zippo!

62 bottles of beer on the wall.

Re: Yawaah

This little piggy went to the market

This little piggy stayed home

This little piggy at roast beef

This little piggy had none

And this little piggy said:

Wee Wee Wee I cant find my way home.

Your admiring uncle

Latif Chappu

61 bottle of beer on the wall.

Re: Rsaxena

This is in response to your post on the other thread.

Do you think that what you or anyone else here does is actually more valuable or constructive or productive than what Tahmed and I are doing?

If we are talking about getting a life (you said there was a sale on herpes... no thanks), taking a breather, watch a movie and so on.... get a load of this smartiepants....

Out of 1111 posts:

Rsaxena = 84 posts

Latif Chappu = 30 posts

Tahmed = 34 posts

Even after all of our tomfoolery Tahmed & I have far less posts combined than you alone. So please dont say baseless things and get all YLH on me will ya??

Now be nice and shoot some posts this way.

Your exotic assassin

Latif Chappu

60 bottles of beer on the wall.

Re: Team

YEAH BAYBEEEEE! WE WON!!

WE WON WE WON WE WON!!!

Boy that was great!

First of all I`d like to thank all that have contributed. Tahmed321 for his constant support. Yawaah Latif Hamdani who latched on to the bait early in the game and made the final push possible. And of course the MVP AAMIR!

77 posts out of 90!! 40 posts in a row (new record). A performance for the ages! Who would have thought that he would come up so big when it mattered the most. A historic performance by an underrated giant reminiscent of Jim Laker`s 19, Buster Douglass` win over Tyson, Buruchhaga`s overtime goal to win Argentina the 86 world cup!

Bravo! Aamir, bravo!

Now go and enjoy the off season. And lets come back next year for another assault at the summit!

Your beloved third cousin

Latif Chappu

The following records have now been broken on Sarwari`s article;

Highest Team Score: old record 1189, new record 1201 not out;

Highest Individual Score: old record by ylh (no one kept score back then), new record by Aamir 89 not out (score subject to review by the Sub-Committee on the Improper Use of Steroids);

This match is now officially over. Individuals may continue practicing pitching wata balls on the turf.

Thank God, today -- MISTER Colin Powell is our worthless Secretary of State -- and GENERAL Rumsfield is the Secretary of Defense.

Bless you Rums.