A Letter Home

Shammi,

You are a man of credibility and you generally are seen as someone we can be in agreement with on key human issues if not national ones. But all that amounts to zilch, when you take to exaggerate when in your sarcasm, something which doesnt suit you.

You said :

`without having to report to a miserable police station every night:)`

My friend Mr Prem Saghar Bodagala arrived with me in Pakistan, and I drove him twice to the `reporting` center, once the day of his arrival, second time the day he was leaving. He is an Indian citizen and I was just informed that I should not take him to the Lahore Cantt. area, but of our friends from the US is the grandson of the Corp Commandar of Lahore Cantt. so we went to visit him... besides in Lahore, the Airport is located in the Cantt area ironically, so if you are landing in Lahore you go there ...

So my point is that we didnt have to go to `a miserable police station everynight` ... but was required... we went to a `reporting` center to check in and check out which happened in less than 30 Minutes total.

And guess what ... the Pakistan Visa fee for all citizens of any country is $45 .. that is except Indian citizens... For Indian citizens it is only

$2 Dollars... Wouldnt you go report in a nearest enforcement agency and save $43 ?

Re: ylh

``I have set the date of my final return to Pakistan as October 1st 2002.... I have decided to work only till my OPT expires.``

Good. That will raise the average intellect of both countries.

Shammy

``Re: Jay -- yes, he does not like Pakistan, but then he is one person out of over a billion. Can`t use him as a basis for making a generalized judgemnt.``

That is incorrect, the fact is that I dont care a damn about pakistan. But I like paki bashing, and that is all. I usually do not make any personal remarks, it is invariably on the monstrocity called pakistan, and mostly caricatures of ideas.

Now let us talk of ramadan, and there is talk of stopping the bombing during ramadan. This a western notion, where the religious festival of christmas is enjoyment and merry making, relaxing and getting drunk. Ramadan is the opposite, it is the time of masochist torture, starting with no male- female sex, to fasting and sleep diprevation.

This is the ideal time to wage war and if I remeber correctly a great war of significance led by the man himself was during ramadan.

It is the amripakis who are talking of no war during ramadan,especially the pickenes walking ataturk loving indian turned naturalised pakistani. Let us follow the islamic norm, and I understand that there are `specials` on houris during the festival time, a la K-mart, and shaheeds should rush in before the specials finish. Last year the specials were 20 percent extra, on 70 houris, it is not a bad number.

regards

jay

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Nuggets from the Urdu press



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America`s `baira` will be `gharaq`

Famous warrior and chief of Lashkar-e-Tayba Hafiz Saeed told Nawa-e-Waqt that there will be baira gharaq (shipwreck) of America at the hands of Allah. He said it was the religious duty of all Pakistanis to come to the defence of the Islamic government of Afghanistan. He said the crusades were on and the Christians would come to grief. He asked General Musharraf why he agreed with the American bombing of airports and power stations in Afghanistan since they were not hideouts for the terrorists. Mufti Shamzai of Banuri mosque in Karachi ruled that the government which supports the Americans should be toppled.

Mulla Umar is nuts

According to daily Din, Mulla Umar the caliph of Afghanistan was mentally sick and was given to bouts of madness during which he screamed like a child. It was his routine to lock himself inside a room which his followers thought was a kind of maraqba (spiritual vigil) but in fact he tried to hide his madness.

Journalist who ate five times a day!

According to Khabrain British journalist Yvonne Ridley writing about her arrest at the hands of the Taliban intelligence agency said that the statement of the Afghan spokesman that she was given five meals a day `because she was used to eating all the time` was false because she was not given any food and that she was on hunger strike during her captivity and had eaten only after being released. She added that she was made to walk 80 miles.

Mulla Umar`s teacher held

According to Khabrain, Mullah Umar`s teacher, 67 year old Maulana Ghulam Sarwar, was picked up in Quetta and held in custody by the Pakistani police. The teacher, after being arrested, immediately declared jehad on America. The arrest was made hours after the beginning of the American attack on Afghanistan.

Dr Israr`s pearls of wisdom

Quoted in daily Din, Lahore`s famous cleric Dr Israr Ahmad said that the attacks in New York and Washington on September 11 were carried out by the Jews. Next, the Jews will destroy Masjid-e-Aqsa in occupied Jerusalem. He said Israel will finally be conquered by the combined power of the mujahideen from Afghanistan and Pakistan.

Gul sways lawyers

According to daily Pakistan, ex-ISI chief General Hamid Gul told the Lahore High Court bar that the terrorism in America was actually the work of Americans and Jews. He said America wanted to end the power of China and Pakistan. After Afghanistan, America would end Pakistan. After his speech, the lawyers became extremely emotional and shouted that he should lead their procession against the government, but the office bearers of the bar succeeded in containing the fiery passions of the true Muslim lawyers.

Astrologers on Taliban crisis

According to Khabrain, a handful of astrologers in Lahore expressed conflicting views on the future of the on-going American attacks on Afghanistan. Almost all of them said that America will fail and that the Taliban will win and the Muslim world would unite, but disagreed in detail. One said that Pakistan will emerge from its own crisis in 2002, and another said that Osama bin Laden would leave Afghanistan but Mulla Umar would lose power in 2001.

A bungalow for Mulla Umar

Famous columnist Nazeer Naji wrote in Jang that Osama bin Laden came to Afghanistan and took control of it and in return built a bungalow for Mulla Umar. After that he got rid of Mulla Umar`s Afghan guards and appointed a new guard comprising the Bengali warriors of his organisation, Al-Qaeda. These were salaried men who had learned to hate Pakistan.

Jesus writes to Christians!

Columnist Ismail Qureshi wrote in Nawa-e-Waqt a letter from Jesus to his Christian followers wherein Christianity was accused of having imposed crusades on Muslims and then exploited the Muslim world in the 20th century, building its World Trade Center with the usury extracted from poor Muslim states. Then Christ sent ghaibi (invisible) power which destroyed the World Trade Center, after which Christianity declared war on poor Muslims. Jesus said that he could not remain quiet on this injustice and asked Christians to reform themselves and do penance.

The name of Osama bin Laden

Daily Nawa-e-Waqt wrote in its Sare Rahe column that Pakistan foreign minister Abdul Sattar returned from Doha and held a press conference at Lahore State Guest House but carefully avoided naming Osama bin Laden while the world was talking about him and President Bush was waking up at night crying Osama, Osama! The column called on the Taliban ambassador in Islamabad Mulla Zaeef to rename himself Mulla Qavi (powerful) because that was what was needed against the Americans. His name Zaeef means weak.

Gen Aslam Beg speaks again

Quoted in Khabrain, ex-COAS General Mirza Aslam Beg said that if the Americans sent land troops in Afghanistan tau oos kay hosh thikanay ajayen gai (will be brought to its senses). The last time he said this during the Gulf war, the Americans landed and Saddam Hussein was quickly defeated. But the genius of General Beg has remained undimmed in the service of Pakistan. Ex-ISI chief, General Hameed Gul said in Khabrain that America will never send land troops into Afghanistan. He said OIC was murda (dead). Maj-Gen (Retd) Tajamul Hussain Malik said not so originally that America wanted to take hold of Pakistan`s nuclear weapons and give them away to some other country. He said the war against the Taliban would be a long one and the Americans would run away after seeing dead bodies.

Praising great actresses

Film producer Khwaja Pervez wrote in Khabrain that a statement by actress Reema, Mira, Resham and Saima that they would die for Pakistan was a great gesture of self-sacrifice for the country even though the statement was the work of a destitute journalist sitting at his desk. He said Reema had made Pakistan famous by doing colossal shopping in America, thus picking up its economy and making it beholden to Pakistan. He said the debt of the tawaef (courtesans) was great on Pakistan since they sang all the TV songs. They should now be sent to America to persuade it not to kill the Afghans.

India will remember its `nani`

Quoted in Khabrain, General (Retd) K.M. Arif said that if India attacked Pakistan it will be made to remember its nani (grandmother). He said the Americans had superiority in the air but if they sent land forces into Afghanistan, then the Taliban will have superiority over them. Two superpowers (Britain and the USSR) have had themselves already defeated in Afghanistan. General Hameed Gul said that the Americans will soon learn the rates of atta and daal in Afghanistan.

Parachinar refuses asylum to Afghans

According to Khabrain, the tribal people of Parachinar in the Kurram Agency refused to offer asylum to the Afghan refugee fleeing their country `because the last we did that the Russians attacked us and killed 12 of us`. Seeing this, the political agent set up three refugee camps in the lower part of the Kurram Agency.

Osama like Napoleon and Quaid

Astrologer Abdul Wahab told Khabrain that the thumb of Osama bin Laden was like the thumbs of Napoleon and the Quaid-e-Azam. He said Osama was under threat till November 4, after which he will be safe. According to his lines, Osama was incapable of attacking America but he had a personality that attracted human beings like honey attracted bees. Osama did not bow in front of anyone and was a man of great determination, but he would meet a sad end.

`Reema lao!`

According to Khabrain a local theatre in Lahore was nearly put on fire by an angry crowd after film actress Reema failed to turn up in a show arranged in her name. After Reema failed to appear, the crowd shouted Reema Lao (bring Reema) and began to damage the property of the theatre. The administration said that though the show was dedicated to Reema there was no pledge by them to bring her to the theatre. After this the crowd tried to set fire to the theatre.

Americans eat sleeping pills

Great columnist Muzaffar Bukhari wrote in daily Din that America was worth pitying because 20 percent of the Americans were clinically mad and the rest took sleeping pills to go to sleep. He wrote that the Americans should read the following line of Allama Iqbal: tu agar mera nahin banta nan ban apna tau ban (if you can`t be mine be your own person).

Hekmatyar joins whom?

According to daily Insaf great Afghan leader and former ISI favourite Glubuddin Hekmatyar joined the Taliban with his men and all the weapons he had got from Pakistan`s ISI during the Afghan war. He was keeping the weapons as buried cache somewhere in Afghanistan. Other reports said that Hekmatyar had joined the Northern Alliance.

Mulla Umar`s family killed

According to Ausaf, the wife of Mulla Umar, one daughter and two sons, got killed during the American air attacks. The sons were injured on the first day of the attack. His close relatives were also either injured a or were killed by the American bombs falling on Kandahar.

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Re: YLH #234

Great! Democracy will be in season, and our very own Chowkie Jeffersonian democrat will arive just in time. We expect great things of you upon your return. Do not fritter the flower of your youth like the rest of us in naukaris. You are destined to be the 2nd Jinnah, and maybe one day I will need your sifarish to obtain a Pakistani visa and travel the length and breadth of your country without having to report to a miserable police station every night:)

ylh #233
You need to cheer up. That was a good response you wrote to Terry Burns. Why don`t you write some more articles for chowk?

ylh #219 OK, I read your post and I see you are stretching what I said in my previous post. I am not talking about a World Government lording it over 6 billion persons who are clones of one another and with no basic rights. All I am saying is that globalization is coming whether you like it or not. It is coming due to technological changes and changes in the modes of production, not due to any UN resolutions or due to any conspiracy. Political institutions have historically evolved with changes in the economy as we all know (from tribalism to feudalism, to kingships to nationalism to ..?). What they will evolve into, no one can say for sure. Some things will probably be decided Globally - but will it be a Confederation of States, or Specialized Bodies, or a form of Trade Guilds, I dont know and I dont care. A few things will be decided Regionally - again, it is not clear what political arrangement will evolve. In Europe such regional groupings are already taking shape. A lot of things will be decided Locally it seems - hopefully through democratic local self-governments. And most important, in a free world, will be decided by the Individual for himself. Hopefully individual freedom will be limited only by the need to respect other people`s freedom and safety and rights. That is what is evolving. A focus on nationality or nationalism of the traditional kind alone simply detracts one from the emerging realities. That is all I am saying.

ylh #226 Sorry to get you so upset. Our posts obviously put in the mail at the same time, and my non-serious post #221 was written before I read your serious post #219. No direspect intended at all to your post #219. I shall read it carefully, reflect, research, draft response, have it reviewed by personal grammarian (where is temporal anyway), and do a spell check (maybe). And that will be my considered, respectful, response to your post #229 (I am joking here, incidentally). Not my post #221.

divinecomedy, anny, semipreciousme

Throwing words is easy. There is never big protest in Pakistan against the poison children are taught. When did any politician, religious person, military person in Pakistan stand up to say we should stop teaching hatred to our children? Jumping jacks like ylh dont want to even acknowledge problems. Standard answer is India teaches similar. Show me, anybody who thinks so.

Semipreciousme, I will believe when I meet one. Anny, thinking everyone equal is easy if it is only outside friends. Anything more you cant despite you being a good person. Divine comedy, blaming me wont solve problem. None of you will step out of any system. Too weak.

Eklvya,

I will wait for your answer.

Shammi:

``The refugees tend to have too much emotional baggage to be able to make `rational` decisions.``

That I agree with. The refugess do tend to have too much baggage, and the pendulum swings from ``Ham sab bhaiyon kee tarah rahte they``

to ``yeh Musla jaat hee harami hai`` within the quantum of one drink of scotch. I am not being facetetious here. This is atleast what I have observed, absolute lack of clarity and objective vision amongst the refugees

``...who try to brush Indian-Pak differences under the carpet...``

I don`t try to brush differences under the carpet. Why do you think I do? My position is that maintaining differences ad nauseum could become unsustainable, and is not without cost.

I am not talking of ``maintaing differences`` but recognizing them. Both countries have a habit of burying their heads in the sand. If you take ``UN Resolutions to be implemented`` and Jammu and Kashmir is an integral part of India`` and then say that Kashmir is not a core issue, it just drives me nuts. In this case, yes, I blame the Indians, but it won`t take me long to find an example of the other either. What is the point of holding candle light vigils in Wagah and another type of vigil 300 miles north? Arrey, decide, what is our policy, what are the differences, and how to approach them?

Regarding North Indians having negative feelings as compared to South Indians, well I lack statistics, but I think you over-estimate the negativity in us, and under-estimate it in the south Indians. Just a matter of opinion. The Punjabis are emotional yes, but, if there is a lot that we differ on, there is a lot that we share with the Pakis too. The people down south share nothing at all in terms of culture and language, but do reflect the differences in national policy.

When Kuldip Nayar referred to Pakistanis as brothers, it was TVR Shenoy, a South Indian who publicly said that they may be Kuldip Nayar`s brothers, but certainly weren`t his, because he shared absolutely nothing in terms of language and culture. The most hawkish Indian Army chief was also a Tam Bram, Gen Sundarji.

The point is, much water has flown under the bridge since 1947, and the refugees of today get more pissed off by enroachment of Delhi by Haryanvis, then by stories of Partition. Emotions exist, yes, but not all negative, and certainly not all the time. Our textbooks are unbiased against the Mughals, but they are biased against Pakistan. We may recognize Pakistan, but still question its birth.

Time has come for us to move on. Recognize our core national interests, throw out the ideology, not get pissed of over their non-secular government, cease to give lecture on human rights and democracy, and just deal with them on things that affect us. That is the point I was trying to make to Gowardhan. Why is he getting ants in his pants if Paki text books teach them to hate Hindus? Is he a Paki Hindu? Let him deal with the Pakis he interacts with on his own terms.

Shammi

I have set the date of my final return to Pakistan as October 1st 2002.... I have decided to work only till my OPT expires.

-YLH

Bhadwaraj...

I dont know who you are, but I hope and pray you are not a Pakistani... As for Saudis,Afghanis etc being Pakistanis, what a bunch of bull .... They have their own countries, they should keep to their own countries... should we neglect our minorities who are Pakistanis, for Muslims who are not Pakistanis? Is that even Islamic?

As for the Islamic prefix, let me assure you that the `Islamic` prefix is just simply the worst form of `chamberlainism` that Pakistan`s rulers have employed to appease your kind in Pakistan. One day, we shall drop that prefix.

Eklavya, Gowardhan, Sadna saga

Sad to see that Eklavya is apologizing to lying bigots like Gowardhan aka Sadna, what has the world come to. Eklavya if you really think Gowardhan has any integrity I apologize for thinking of you so highly.

I ll tell you when there will be peace in the world... when Sami ul Haqs, Naqshbandis, Bin ladens, Gowardhans, Sadnas all will bite the dust.

-YLH

ylh # 226

Ylh, I haven`t read all the interacts between you and tahmed321, so I hope you will forgive me if I misunderstand your position.

One of the reasons I have deeply admired you, despite our occasional differences, is that you love your country deeply. For me, that is the first principle when I judge a person. One who does not love his or her country is simply not worthy of love.

Since I don`t read every post here, it is possible tahmed321 said something that you found offensive or disagreeable. But if there is one thing on which I will bet my life it is that tahmed321 loves Pakistan as much as I love India or you love Pakistan.

His repeated reminders to us that we should see ourselves in global terms should not confuse us. Human love is a multi-layered thing. One can love one`s country and can still seek the vision of global brotherhood or sisterhood. We do that all the time: we love our families, our neighborhoods, our communities, our nations. So we need not stop there. Remember we are not born with nations written on our foreheads.

I have even come to believe that our feelings of commitment and love are not only multilayered but also multidimensional, complex beyond simple understanding. It sounds absurd that while I continue to believe that Pakistani army has been the source of a great many of our problems (see my bias!), and despite the fact we have fought war after war, and still spend billions just to be able to ``nuke the enemy first,`` I often feel a deep sense of affection toward Pakistan. I truly wish it the very best in every way (except bombing India, of course :)).

If I, an ``enemy,`` can have such complex feelings, imagine what someone like tahmed must feel. My belief is that he is a more mature man than I. He loves his nation AND sees a day when we could all realize that, after all, beyond Hindu-Muslim, Indian-Pakistani, we are first and foremost human beings with very human commitments; while I merely love my nation.

I think of people like tahmed as elders who remind us that we ought to take the next step in our individual growth.

But hey, that is my opinion. You are too smart a guy to need lectures from me!

Eklavya #229

I am pretty sure that a Pakistani present at the talk I mentioned was Zia Mian who co-edited the collection of articles in question. This person(who mentioned Prof Hoodbhoy too) if I remember right spoke about how children were essentially being educated in a way that they would reach the conclusion that nuclear weapons were necessary, thereby being impoverished twice, first by being the losers to disproportionate military budgets going into building nuclear weapons and secondly by being indoctrinated to perpetuate this disproportion and think it indispensable to their wellbeing.

Obviously, the Indian speaker had the same apprehension about BJP`s intentions, and a case can be made that a similar indoctrination/impoverishment is happening to a large extent in India too, not by design(I believe) but incidentally or more subtly through our situation/choices/responses/language.

Its all rather disturbing. I`m NOT a peacenik, but I think it doesnot hurt to look closely at different parts of the picture.

re: Gowardhan # 168 and others

Gowardhan,

I am not ignoring you. You deserve a full response. You said a few things that were true and that cut me to the quick. But let me recover; I will get back to you.

EK

Sadna,

Thanks for the reference. It was wrong of me to doubt Gowardhan`s integrity just because his message was bitter.