Here Are the Muslim Feminist Voices, Mr. Rushdie!

DRUMZ:

``I told my parent when i did it first and they were cool with it (LOL)``

my parents take the cake for uncoolness..i tell my dad i want to smoke weed and he asks me to write a paper on it...5000 words max 4775 minimum..like, im 20 now...but no...MLA it is....this is like taking 4 months to teach me to fix punctures on everything between a cycle and land cruiser and make me take bloody notes on the `internal workings` of a car till im dreaming carbraters and air pipes...incase im ever to be stranded alone on some lonely road...them notes will certainly come in handy...

seriously, your post gave me a very new perspective...yahan par drugs dont have a negative connotation coz of american anything but its more of a loserlike thing to do..no moderation here...u either dont do it or then u turn into a charsi...like see, when we were in school..the last year..everyone went wild..from weed to heroine to these pills someone brought in from islamabad, everything was on...break time was like this orgy with everyone crammed in one bathroom..i always had a problem with this as i do with everything else that makes one loose control (nice people squatting on bathroom floors together and smoking is just that if u ask me) be it this or losing it while dancing, excessive partaking of alcohol, or even a personal high on oneself...its kindoff pathetic when one loses sense of oneself and dignity and all that goes flying out the window...and to add to that, in college one traumatic night i was exposed to some very nice people giggling swaying and never mind what else after having maroed like a whole bucket of subtsance from their respective father`s cupboards..we sane people danced to eeeeeenameeenadeaeka while these people drank themselves silly and missed the most important mid term of all our lives the next morning coz theyd forgotten how to walk and all that stuff..sad bit is they were back to it in less than a day and today most of them are still at it...tau the attitude was always a very `what losers` wala... very selfrighteous and snotty on my part..now about drugs, theyve had like this major come back in my city i.e. karachi some 7 to 8 years back..weeds available EVERYWHERE..from the paan kee dukaan to a man outside kfc to abdullah sha ghazi`s mazaar (infact on a trip there just to see the shrine we managed to bump into 14 people we were acquainted with which was for some reason tummyhurtinghilarious) so now some people im terribly found of and a few people who i respect immensely and some who i happen to think are incredibly talented and write,paint etc better than most- are all druggies..iv been thinking about how my condemning everybody in to this kind off stuff is a little uncomfortable...i mean i like these people....iv been trying to understand why such people would want to do sthg so stupid...and then after a particularly painful experience of seeing an old friend turned into a charsi when i met her after like 8 years, the need to understand...intensified?...so what u said makes sense..if its like what u say it is, it sounds great..im jumping into a hotbox tomorrow :) seriously, i want to find out first what the religious point of view on this is..im not talking sufi`s and all..basically what the quran might have to say about this kind of an experience and i also want to look into that fact that im really not going to take leave of my senses......and that damned paper...thanku sweetie...the post really helped

duas for your exam..mine are over and yours arent :-P

Chowkies (except for Drumz who is s`pposed to be studying)

What Secret? Huh? Please tellmetellmetellme!I wanna hang out with the cool kids!

regards

Umer Murtuza #499,

Omarphoneix was a cooler name :).

will email you soon.

RanaRansher #493 Perhaps you should consider wearing a burqa yourself - so you may not attract the unsavory attentions of the dreaded Moronphiles of Kabul...yes...you read that right...The Moronphiles!! Yes my friend...these are sexual deviants who get aroused not by women, not even by sheep, but by Morons...and unless you are in a burqa you will be a prime candidate for this dreaded monsters. Your Chief Hindutva Moron, Mr. Thakeray, I understand dares not step out of doors any more...he has the windows painted black to avoid the chance of being spotted by a passing Moronphile on the street.

So put on your burqa, and pray like hell that your virtue is protected...

Ha! Ha!

Reply Rana #493

That was very funny.

Zafar

PS Oh, and to return the favour: Jay Ram G Ki

Reply DRUMZ # 477 etc

“(MAYBE our very own NANCY REAGAN can help too-SADNA)...”

That’s harsh. If anything, Sadna would be more like Raisa Gorbachev (2 PhDs, etc.) Anyway – she’s right about the hanging on chowk/studying for exams dichotomy.

“Now, once you`re high, all you`re faculties of reason are there.”

But don’t drive or operate heavy machinery (hair dryers and cuisinarts are a big no no). Try also to avoid large purchases, hair cuts, giving out your phone number, etc. On the other hand the Mysteries of the Universe do, of course, become (albeit momentarily) clear. MOTU are also, btw, over-rated.

“As always, the white man is responsible.”

Bilkul sahi. And don’t let that agent of the PC Mafia (that’s right Saminashah, I have documentary evidence that you’re a NOW sleeper on Chowk…and see what you did to that whiskey discussion, proof na?) change your mind. Oh btw, Drumz, I’d love to get your line on Falashas.

Zafar

PS You’re not alone, man. Urstruly won’t reply to me either…and I’ve never even called him a mufu or king boofoo or whatever…so unfair…oh I did ask him to prove his statements once, did you do that ever? that might be it…

Reply Saminashah # 489

Saminaji!

“...with our novel we can RULE THE WORLD. HA HAH HA HA HAH HAH!”

Or at least organise unlimited chai and macaroons only (and this is because we are EVIL GENIUSES) we will never get fat! Brilliant or what? Frankly if I had to chose between ruling the world and unlimited chai and macaroons without getting fat, ruling the world looks decidedly unattractive. (Plus then one would have to be polite to pope shope etc. kya fayeda? I would be talking when I could be eating…)

“Perhaps the arch nemesis can be Agent Pinkyfeld, a be-YEW-ti-ful Mossad spy who know how deliver a roundhouse kick, bake damn good kugel AND make reservations for a facial at the Bliss spa...make her from Park Slope Brooklyn, that`ll give her some boho and make her a little more multidimensional. In her past, she once loved a Muslim Pakistani boy...uh oh, faster than you can say ``Brenda``, here come the fatwa...”

If you really really really really really REALLY want a fatwa (and in an attempt to try and get with the program that the Young People seem to be pursuing on this board) here are some options:

1 Pinky was in love with Fatimah. That love was returned but doomed to failure because of respective allergies (brought on by Fatimah’s father the Imam’s bad juju and the sacrifice of a small bunny rabbit outside a discount halal meatshop at midnight). Both Pinky and Fatimah have been driven mad by this Great Tragedy, and therein the story lies…

2 Pinky used to be Pinko. Pre-op he wooed and won Fatimah and they started a family together. Being Godless Atheists at the time they named their children without regard to religious tradition (Deepika, Bijli, Fawzia, Amir, Bhardwaj, Lajwanti, Shah, etc.). They both got religion and split up, Pinky got her peach (you will pardon this vulgarity in the cause of stylistic versimilitude I hope). Fatimah did a Ma Baker number, and they now…

3 Similar to above, except Fatimah used to be Fatso. Possible title: ``Pinko aur Fatso Ki Amar Kahani`` (why does my inner voice want to set this in Ludhiana?)…in this case Deepika etc. will have to be dogs, cats and goldfish instead of children, but you get the idea. I think we could work in an interesting subplot involving Big Al’s Resort for Pets and a turf dispute with…oh, let’s say a pretzel shop. (There is a merchandising opportunity here which should yield sponsor $$s, or at least free pretzels.) The lame burqas would come into their own here.

4 ?? Aur kya?? Dammit, where is Prof. Emerit. Subroto when one needs him?

That’s it. I’m off to barricade myself indoors and wait for the Evil Hordes.

Zafar

PS NB Drumz – production will take place POST exams. Now go study. Sadna is right. (heeheeheehee! I love this bit.)

In case someone missed this NewYork times article.Fantastic!



Islam Attracts Converts by the Thousands, Drawn Before and After Attacks

By Jodi Wilgoren, The New York Times, October 22 2001 CE

ALLWIN, Mo., Oct. 20 — Since she became a Muslim six months ago, Angela Davis has given up many things. She stopped listening to music, started sleeping on the floor, put away her 100 Disney videos and traded her porcelain doll collection for velvet posters with verses from the Koran.

Now, in the aftermath of the Sept. 11 terrorist attacks, Ms. Davis may have to give up her children.

After her photograph, in full veil, appeared in the local newspaper on Sept. 30, Ms. Davis`s soon-to-be-ex-husband refused to return their children, 5 and 2, from a weekend visit. She has not seen them since.

``It`s a test that is given to me from Allah to see if my faith is.....

(Read the rest of it here)

Source: http://www.nytimes.com/2001/10/22/national/22CONV.html?ex=1004414400&en=ae7a47a9%2010427a10&ei=5040&partner=MOREOVER

Re:Reply #: 478

sarwar,

Mushy boy has thus far survived, not because India`s journalists could not report from Pakistan but simply because his co-operation was necessary to fight this war against terrorism and USA has deemed it necessary that he be in charge. If i am not mistaken, the next avenue after Afghanistan would be Pak. Its madrasaas are closed/closing already. USA will also keep a close tab on Mushy`s activities regarding encouraging Taliban or fundamentalists in Kashmir as well on the nuclear assets of Pakistan. Even while all these things are going on, US is forging a new defense tie with India. At least i see the signals clearly. Pakistan`s dictator is a necessary evil for now but US has realised that its long term interests are with India. Though both India and US want Musharraf to survive and reign in the taliban elements, India may not take kindly to Mushy if he continues with his Kashmir policy as before.

So, really whatever he does with Indian journalists (or journalists of Indian descent) is immaterial. Events are moving so fast that Mushy has no control.

Sridhar

Look people, sadna is right, Ima concentrate on exams, have to learn 10 chapters by tommorow morning, havent started etc...

(And can someone let saminah in on our little secret).

Also in the future I hope to address my vulgar language. You guyz are all Desi so I KNOW i make you cringe when I say Fukk, Sh1t, etc etc... Desi`s take great bride in knowing 30 synonyms for every common word. Its a sickening colonial legacy, (as always, whitey is to blame).

Simplification is the key... Instead of using verbs, I use sh1t. Sh1t can be used to describe any verb. ``Wheres that sh1t, who took my sh1t etc`` Should be a learning experience for everyone. Then We`ll get into adverbs, which require 2 other words to describe the sh1t. See, u cant say, ``this sh1t is sh1T`` That would be uncouth. You must use two adverbs, ``this sh1t is crazy as fukk.`` Its the ``Keep is Simple, sh1t`` philospohy. If you all follow my lead we can begin to limit our vernaculars to 100 odd words. This will eliminate grades 1-7, giving us more time to do important things like smoking weed.

One more thing...

Nasah: I will try to be as polite as possible, no promises...

``STEP IN THE RIGHT DIRECTION -- AND A MISSION FOR RAWA TO GET BUSY``

1. Anyone who doesnt support everything upto (and including) mass castration, fails to underdtand what the Taliban did.

2. Since when did it become PC to think of RAWA as b1tches??? Im a dead man for saying this, but Temporal tells me a b1tch is ``a slut who hasnt slept with you yet...`` LOL!!!!! Using his insight, how can anyone insinuate RAWA is made up of b1tches???

Seriously, these are women who have risked everything to expose barbarism. HOW ARE THEY WHINING???? I suppose u think a woman who complains when being raped is also whining?! Please... RAWA`s membership should be given the nobel prize. These queens are HEROES, period.

3. WHY, WHY, WHY, do people think the taliban are better then the NA? ``because they have some limits`` they say. Bullsh1t. Mark Twain said theres nothing more annoying then a good example.

The taliban are like pigs, only more so...

Salam, death to Amerikkka and all that good sh1t...

Scout 486,

Yeah, well sista (I`m clicking and swinging my hand like one of the black mamas now), you gotsta live with it. Ha ha. It`s my real name.

Dude, so now you know my name. When will I know yours. You have my e-mail addy...I think. Reply reply reply.

Happy Ramadhan to you and to everyone else too. (I know I`m a bit late)

Umer Murtaza

Ref lowlife-headshrinker #: 424

In my post # 472, I wrote

[Since Malayalees are more common in Bombay than Tamils, you actually might be one. So, why don`t YOU become the boy-toy of OBL? You are more used to having your a$$ reamed here on the Chowk anyway.]

If on the other hand you happen to be a Tamil, then Ali1 is looking for a sideways-headshaking Southie. You would fit the bill perfectly and Ali1 is probably hitting on guys in gay bars not realizing that you would be available.

Chowkies,

Interesting article by a feminist who deconstructed the Republican stereotype of the ``Welfare Queen`` about 7 years ago

by Katha Pollitt

After the Taliban



What if Hillary Clinton, not Laura Bush, had taken to the airwaves during her husband`s first year in office and become the first First Lady to deliver the entire weekly presidential radio address--about women`s rights, no less? Dragon lady! Castrating feminist man-hating b$tch! All together now: Who Elected Her? The Republicans would have started impeachment proceedings that very day. In fact, the down-to-earth and nonthreatening Laura Bush spoke so eloquently in support of Afghan women`s rights I actually found myself not wanting to believe the Democratic Party accusation that this was a cynical attempt to appeal to women and narrow the eleven-point gender gap that bedeviled Bush in the 2000 election--not that a shortage of votes turned out to matter, but that`s another story. Perhaps Mrs. Bush--and Cherie Blair, who gave a similar speech on November 19--was sending a message to the sorry collection of warlords and criminals, power-grabbers and back-stabbers vying for power in the new Afghanistan: This time around, women must have a seat at the table. As I write, Afghan women are swinging into action, with a major conference planned for early December in Brussels to insist on equality and political power in their post-Taliban nation.

Wouldn`t it be wonderful if the defeat of the Taliban also marked the end of the cultural-relativist pooh-poohing of women`s rights? Only a few weeks ago, a Bush Administration spokesperson was refusing to promise that women would play a role in a new Afghan government: ``We have to be careful not to look like we are imposing our values on them.`` A week before it began, no women had been mentioned as participants in the UN-sponsored Bonn conference to plan for a postwar Afghanistan. As it turned out, there are three among the twenty-eight delegates: two in the delegation of the former King and one in that of the Northern Alliance, plus at least two more attending as advisers. Whether it means anything, who knows--of the four factions gathered in Bonn, only the Northern Alliance controls any actual territory, and its record with regard to women`s rights and dignity is nothing to cheer about. While some alliance leaders speak encouragingly of girls` education and women`s right to work, early signs are mixed: In Kabul, women can once more freely walk the streets, but the newly reopened movie theater is off-limits and a women`s rights march was halted by authorities; in late November, according to the Los Angeles Times, women were banned from voting for mayor in Herat, whose de facto ruler, Ismail Khan, has presented himself as sympathetic to women`s rights.



Still, whatever government takes shape in Afghanistan will probably be better for women than the Taliban--how could it be worse?--as long as the country does not degenerate into civil war, as happened the last time the Northern Alliance was in power. But let`s not kid ourselves: This war is not about freeing women from government-mandated burqas, or teaching girls to read, or improving Afghan women`s ghastly maternal mortality rate of 17 in 1,000 births--the second highest in the world. Those things may happen as a byproduct of realpolitik, or they may not. But if women`s rights and well-being were aims of US Afghan policy, the Carter, Reagan and Bush administrations would never have financed the mujahedeen, whose neanderthal treatment of women, including throwing acid at unveiled women, was well documented from the start; the Clinton Administration would not have initially accepted the Taliban even after they closed the girls` schools in Herat; and the current Bush Administration would have inundated the millions of Afghan women and girls in Pakistan`s refugee camps with teachers, nurses, doctors and food.

As other commentators have pointed out, if Laura Bush wants to make women`s rights a US foreign policy goal, she`s got her work cut out for her. Saudi Arabia, our best friend, is positively Talibanesque: Women are rigidly segregated by law, cannot drive, cannot travel without written permission from a male relative; top-to-toe veiling is mandated by law and enforced by a brutal religious police force. In a particularly insulting twist, US women soldiers stationed there are compelled to wear the veil and refrain from driving when off base; so far the Bush Administration has refused to act on soldiers` objections to these conditions.

One can go on and on about the situation of women in Muslim countries--unable to vote in Kuwait; genitally mutilated in Egypt and Sudan; flogged, jailed, murdered with impunity and even stoned to death for sexual infractions in a number of countries--and Muslim women everywhere are fighting back (for a serious, nonsensationalist approach, check out the website of Women Living Under Muslim Laws, www.wluml.org). But the Islamic world is hardly the only place where women are denied their human rights: How would you like to have to get a divorce in an Israeli rabbinical court or need an abortion in Chile, where it`s illegal even to save your life? The United States makes no bones about using its economic and political might against illegal drugs--in fact, the Administration rewarded the Taliban for banning opium production by making a $43 million donation to the World Food Program and humanitarian NGOs (not, as is usually reported, to the Taliban proper). If it cared to do so, the United States could back the global women`s movement with the same zeal.



Instead, it does the opposite. In order to curry favor with conservative Catholics at home, Laura Bush`s husband has shown callous disregard for women`s rights and health abroad: He reinstated the Mexico City policy, which bars family-planning groups receiving US funds from discussing abortion; he sent anti-choice delegations to wreck the consensus at international conferences on children`s rights and public health; he tried to nominate John Klink, former adviser to the Holy See, to head the State Department`s Bureau of Population, Refugees and Migration, which would have thrown the United States behind the Pope`s call to deny emergency contraception to raped women in refugee camps.

That the Taliban are gone is cause for joy. A world that cared about women`s rights would never have let them come to power in the first place

From the Nation

DRUMZ (#445,464):

First, let us ‘weed’ out some snuff…er…stuff…

[Can I share a little secret with you? The RP may seem like an idealistic poet, but he does work part time as a pathalogical liar (ie. whatever he`s told u about Ali should be taken with a grain of that white salty-like substance).]

I think we have got the order of the words wrong. You mean pathological idealist and lying poet, dontcha? As in horizontal verses and vertical ideas that hit the roof…(aside: if I am to disbelieve all that was said to me then visions of a smart young man, kewl and full of mystic dreams go down the drain….but that’s what you want, so that’s what you’ll get.)

[And yes he did mention meeting you. We were on msn one day and he dropped the names of some people. Stupid me! I thought he was talking about real live actual people who exist and I`ve met in real life, really...]

Now this is something that has not been fully comprehended before you did it. I can only speak for myself, so I am in no way a real person or an actual person who exists. It is like when we are on MSN….and it goes like this:

RP: Ferzeeeeeee….guess what… I asked for tea and I got it in a clay pot…

FV: That is a kulhad and you are not supposed to preserve it, there will be ants crawling. So have you got a pair of trousers? And how is the trip?

RP: Hey, you know anything about X…. any dope?

FV: Yessss…he is gay

RP: Anything that is known about him?

FV: That he is not gay….

RP: Heheh….never mind

FV: So did you eat the paan?

RP: No, I am scared

FV: Wash it with your bottled water, don’t eat the grated coconut and put your own supari…

RP: Should I risk it?

FV: Never mind, have it here with me…haan btw, I have made contact with drumz

RP: Is he treating you ok? I think he is cool, though he is overdoing that keema bit…

FV: He also did a number on you

RP: Saw that, am not amused…

FV: I too did it…

RP: What???? Hello, you there??

FV: Noooooo….

And you think I did that biz about “…..” to annoy you? I thought you were getting ‘home alone’ sick.

About the hair, he thinks he will get the Guinness authorities to see whose is longer… and we are talking about waist-length here. Now what do I say?? Hey, and that red turban thing…who wore the green pugree??

About ‘rash conclusions’….keep them coming and the profanities are excused…. You said something about Rod Stewert saying something about under his seat….now I wanna know about that….

PS: cyber gods usually steer clear of… er…poets and their satanic verses….

PPS: [Its like this BIIIG secret we`re all trying to hide from the evil chowkies. And what if they find out? Ohmigowd, the internet people know...! Whats gonna happen? epileptic seizures, massive heart attacks, suicide rampages...]

You know what the bigger secret is supposed to be? That I don’t know him. Really!!

Maybe the kanjar class(feminists)of India & Pakistan might learn something from this.The westernised Malenists( male heejraas) can also benefit.



From spirit of America:

Bad military taste: To the highest ranking female fighter pilot representing the USA in Saudi.

Get real: When in Rome do as the Romans do or transfer out. DON`T YOU THINK AMERICA HAS ENOUGH TO DO RIGHT NOW BESIDES DEFEND YOUR

RIGHT TO SCANDALIZE A MEDIEVAL SOCIETY . SO WHY SUE THE DEFENSE DEPARTMENT? WHAT ARE YOU SOME SORT OF NUT?



WHETHER WE AGREE OR NOT IT`S THEIR COUNTRY, THEIR RULES.IF YOU DON`T LIKE IT TRANSFER OUT OR STAY ON BASE.

YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW SAUDI MEN AND WOMEN. THINK.

DISPLAYING AN AMERICAN WOMAN WITHOUT AN ABAYA IN A LANDWHERE ALL WOMEN WEAR IT, IS THE SAME TO THEM AS MADONNA WEARING A CRUCIFIX DURING AN ORGY IS TO US.

BEAUCOUP OFFENSIVE. I HAVE SEEN BEAUTIFUL BLONDE AMERICAN GIRLS IN KUWAIT DRESSED IN JEANS AND AN OPEN BLOUSE AND ARAB MEN STANDING AROUND STARING AT THEIR CROTCH WAITING FOR IT TO START TALKING.

IT IS AS DANGEROUS AS GIVING WHISKEY TO INDIANS.

THIS IS NOT THE TIME OR PLACE TO CAMPAIGN FOR WOMEN`S RIGHTS.

IF YOU WANTED TO PICK A FIGHT WITH THE DEFENSE

DEPARTMENT USING THE SAUDI- ISSUE.YOU SHOULD HAVE CHOSEN TO FIGHT FOR DISPLAYING THE AMERICAN FLAG OVER THE AIR BASE AT AL KHOBAR WHICH IS BANNED.

JUST LIKE IT IS BANNED IN PS 93 IN NEW YORK.I RESPECTFULLY REQUEST M`AAM THAT WHEN SHOPPING IN

DOWNTOWN RIYADH THAT YOU WEAR THE REQUIRED ABAYA.

NO ONE SAID IT HAS TO BE BLACK.

Zafar #484

: ) kya karein being fickle of mind need to jump from one calling to another constantly.

btw i agree with your post on another board - humanity is just the pits !!

aicha