Rowing across Lake Austin

Faisal:

Who told you that clarity and depth are mutually exclusive? One goes deeper precisely to get a clearer understanding of something. Being simplistic is not the pot of gold at the end of

the rainbow. Anyway, now your poem is out of your hands, and I shall probe it as much as I wish :)

It is possible that you were merely writing another version of ``row, row, row your boat``, but then you haven`t seen me deconstruct THAT one, have you????

Thank you everyone for taking time to read this. Have a wonderful new year!

Faisal

Ras: Thanks for appreciating this poem. Some of the indentations were left during the submission process. I just emailed the poem to the editors again.

Kiran and Farzana: Thanks for taking this much interest. This is from a snapshot in memory and I was pondering on the displacement of being so I used this old anecdote...

I was thinking that the sky, the journey, the lake, intellect and more importantly a river is an abstraction and as they pour into a metaphor I tried to give them a place or conversely a sense of displacement by using ``brown skin`` instead of ``skin,`` and so forth. That would explain the manifestations of these labels throughout. However a lot of the form was lost because the indentations did not get printed (chowk staff will probably fix that).

``The sun above...`` is almost an afterthought to the narrator in the form of stream of consciousness. It`s place is not entirely elemental, as the river below and the sky all around, instead metaphorically a wiser presence that juxtaposes the narrator’s conclusion. This is something I picked up from Urdu poetry, especially N M Rashid. You take the age old characteristics of nature (falak, behr-e-zulmat etc) and humanize them.

I hope this answers your questions. It is really not a deep poem, so don`t read do much into it. I have struggled with clarity in all my poetry...

RSaxena: I couldn’t agree more :)

Cheers,

Faisal

Chamka nahin :((

err

A Very Merry Christmas to all CHOWK readers.

Ras

Charming use of imagery Mr. Siddiqui. Enjoyed it. Have to agree with Farzana though, why ``Asian`` intellect?

Do interact.

Regards

Kiran

Charming use of imagery Mr. Siddiqui. Enjoyed it. Have to agree with Farzana though, why ``Asian`` intellect?

Do interact.

Regards

Kiran

trying too hard

?

Two men are on lake Austin

they`ve been in this Texas town for a while now

the boating and the water mix into their

converging diverging thought patterns

nicely done

i like ``row, row, row your boat...`` better

Faisal Siddiqui:

You are obviously a `seeker` and some of the imagery was quite palpable. However, I did not like the use of `Asian intellect`. Woner why you did it. I would also like to know why you have specifically italicised ``the sun above squints

and understands this reverence``...could anyone enlighten me? I can think of a few reasons, but I am at a loss regarding its place here all the same.

But `felt` the poem...

Farzana

Mr. Siddiqui,

This is very good.

regards

Welcome to CHOWK Faisal. It feels great to see another Siddiqui here.
This work is moving and full of imagination.

Ras

Farzana #14:

Funny bachi :)