The Ruined Breakfast

Stuka #193 Hats off to you and your level headed posts. People like you remind us that most ``educated south asians`` are not as pea-brained as some of the hindu-muslim paper warriors we find on chowk, and so there is hope yet for the hundreds of millions of our less fortunate brethren in that part of the world.

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Urstruly;

In Birmingham colloquialism a slap is a full on thappar to the left cheek, one step down from a right hook.

After reading your post, I am even more convinced than ever that you are a faggot. No disrespect but it definately seems that way. Man, just go and see a hooker or something and get over it.

And dont go on about us (Sikhs) destroying ``our`` language. Oh ye aristocrats of West Punjab! Stick to speaking Urdu is my advice mate. You really cannot take issue with a Sikh when it comes to Punjabi language and culture and music. I heard some bhangra music produced by a Pakistani the other day his name was Abrar and it was truly atrocious.

I also have a story, there is a Pakistani man who sends his sons to a Gurudwara in Birmingham to learn Punjabi at nightschool. He is one of those rarities in England a Pakistani who loves his Punjabi culture. There is also an old Pakistani man, one of the old school generation, from pre partition days, you know when Kaffirs lived cheek by jowl with Mussalman. Anyway this old gentleman is in his eighties and he lives across the road from the Gurudwara, it is one of the biggest in Birmingham. He is very frail and old, maybe in his eighties, and he has arthritic knees, and the nearest Mosque is about two or three miles away. So twice a week, when his sons cannot take him there to the Mosque, he is walked across the road to the Gurudwara by a Giani and he lays his prayer mat out in a room next to the langar and says his prayers to Mecca. Then he listens to keertan and eats in the langar. Everyone calls him Uncle. He is a very nice man. But maybe he is just scouting for a Balwant Kaur too. I will find out about him and those Akaali Dal Mussalmaan who learn Punjabi at nightschool and send them on the yaatra to Pakistan where they can meet up with the perverts there like you.

Sat-Sri-Akalji

-h-

MAHATMA GANDHI IN AUSTRALIA,

YLH,

Australian govt has announced that a bronz statue of gandi will be unvieled in Glebe park in canberra, australia by the governor general on 19 may. Indians from all over australia ar expected for this event.

The pak authorities have issued this statement `` Long before gandhi, jinnah was the first south asian to be honoured by the australians. Jinnah statue was in fact unveled by the late zia in the seveties in sydney. Subsequently that area got rezoned as a rubbish tip and the statue drowned in rubbish. Now that the people of pakistan in a referundun have overwhelmingly endored mushy to contnue jinnah policies, the pak govt has decided to remove the rubbish and recover the original statue. This will be a physical analogue of what mushy plans to achieve ideologically in pakistan. All pakistanis are urged to contribute towards the cost and bring pride to the pak heritage``.

for further details see ylh@paknews.handpuppets.gov.pk

sigalh 235,

What I am curious about is how does the legal system work/not work in pakistan. There is the Hoodood ordinance that mandates islamic punishment. Apparently it is only for sex crimes and blasphemy. Since zia time no one allegedly has lost a hand for theft. But the laws are the same as what zia had. Again there is the case of honour killing, does a court interfere in the determination, or the local police decides after consulting the mullah. If you know something about the pak system, pl do post it. It appears, by the way the anNys of pakistan ignore these laws, that the rich are outside of these laws.

I find thses laws puzzling. We are not talking about corruption here, these are implementation of different laws for different people per the pak constitution, which apprently all the pakistanis even on the chowk have no complaints about.

regards

Jay

Re: Sigalph235

Given what I feel about organized religions in general, it feels very strange to be one of those `defending` Islam on Chowk. As I`ve said many times before (and will, I`m sure, say many times again), why pick on just Islam? Every Semitic religion is full of nothing but absurdities that go against the modern conception of human rights and civil liberties. Remember how, some time ago, the US Southern Baptists reaffirmed that a dutiful wife MUST obey her husband because of some passage to that effect in the Bible? And you can go on and on and find all sort of similar twaddle in the Bible (women silent in church; kill masturbators; have sex with your daughters (remember Lot?), etc., etc.)

The only difference is that most Christian and Jewish whackos are seen as just that: Grade `A` whackos who are generally ignored when it comes to actually making laws. Our whackos are just more powerful than their whackos and we seem to have a greater proportion of stupid people who believe them than they do in the West. I used to say that , well, our people are illiterate and uneducated and know nothing better but the scariest are all those well-educated (at least in a technical sense) professionals who espouse essentially the same beliefs as the functionally illiterate maulvis turned out by our madrassahs.

Reply Urstruly # 192

Urstruly,

Please accept my sympathy about your bad experiences with women. Sounds like they were all laughing at you, but you mustn`t let this embitter you towards the world. You have too much to give.

Your fan,

Zafar

PS Aap bura na maniye, but perhaps if you made a bit of an effort to keep yourself nice things could go better in the future. The importance of personal hygience cannot be overstated. Also zara parez zyada, doritos kam, nahin tho cent per cent sooar ho jaoge, and then you will look back fondly on what the ladies say about you in these aadha days. Just some friendly suggestions.

progressive #195 your post is mumbo jumbo, and deserves to be responded in the same language. i have a solution: jay is fluent in mumbo jumbo. I see in his post #191, jay wishes to have a serious (heh! heh!) discussion. this is a match made in heaven!!

jay: explain to progressive how he is the descendant of low caste hindus who converted to islam and are now trying to pass as arabs (a step up, i assume, from being a hindu, in your view of the world). also explain to progressive how pakistan is going to hell.

progressive: explain to jay how muslims are superior to hindus, and how jay is destined for hell.

jay: you can then show progressive your collection of Dawn articles that covers every crime that ever took place in pakistan. progressive: in return you can show jay your collection of lengthy articles you have found on the internet (i dont know what they are since i skip through your posts, but i am sure jay will politely express his appreciation).

SO...you two geniuses have now been introduced, and you can proceed to enjoy one another`s mumbo jumbo.

re jay 191

You beat me to the DAWN articles that point out the horrors of an Islamic justice system. The last thing that Ziaul Haq-pasand Pakistanis and their apologists should be doing is lecturing ANYBODY on equity, human rights, and non-discrimination. To think that for years Pakistan`s governments have talked tall against South Africa, Israel, Rhodesia, and now India. The ingrained, inherent, and self-congratulatory barbarity in the Hudood Laws of Pakistan are only matched by the proud claims of justified discrimination. So, if you want to rape someone, make sure you have a Muslim name and she doesn`t. Then go to Pakistan and do the deed. Voila, you`re let go scot-free while she gets stoned to death. If General Musharraf, with his massive mandate, cannot change this kind of blatant support of criminality, it is time that Pakistan be put on the docket like South Africa and pressured to change. Pakistan`s diplomats long railed against Serbian rapes in Bosnia while her judges gleefully covered up the same atrocity at home. Do these people have no shame?

Better still, international warrants should be issued so that the minute any Pakistani judge, politician, or diplomat involved in enforcing the Hudood laws steps foot abroad, he is arrested and taken to the Hague pronto for crimes against humanity.

One more proof that Islamic justice is absolutely incompatible with modern notions of humanity. Rather have no Islam at all than have an Islamic Republic that glorifies murder, rape, and torture.

(Oh please no idiotic lectures about how Islam gives everyone rights, blah, blah, blah.)

Arjun_M

``Terrorist loving, taliban supporting pakis have given all muslims a bad name..and now trouble for non-muslims too..``

Dude, you said this with regards to Kamal Haasan right? Well, well...do I have news for you...Kamal Haasan is Muslim...yup...he is..Indian AND Muslim...and he has contributed more to India than the Thackeray and Togadia types you seem to worship everyday...

Harpreet

Slap me? A little effeminate ain’t it? (deliberately not using the word ‘feminine’)? People usually wish to punch me in the nose or better yet shoot me right between the eyes. Anyway, I wrote this post to tell you that I don’t like Sikhs. But my dislike is not because of Sikhs. It is because of my uncles, and grandparents. Because of them today I am traumatized. It all started when I stepped into my adolescent years and my uncles and grandma started telling me stories about Sikhs. Nothing bad, as you and many others at this board would assume, but actually some very good things. The best stories were those where my uncles, aunts and grandma told me about Sikh girls and how they were so pretty. My uncles used to look lost beyond horizon when mentioning their charming neighborettes or a sikh Cleopatra of their city who did this and that for her love. So, in my mind, I had an Harlequin Romance image of Sikh girls.

Then came the teenage years, when I started going to Hassan Abdal during the annual Panja Sahib yatra of Sikhs. I went there throughout my college years, climbing the mountain where Baba Wali Qandhari’s grave is- a straight two to three hours climb on foot along with other yatris, in search of my Balwant Kaur with whom I was planning to fall in love. But years passed by and Balwant Kaur never came. I even had plans, that whenever I would fall in love with my Balwant, I would go to India and bring her back. I planned to join one of my relatives ‘gang’ who was rumored to have a smuggling ring across the border trafficking cattle and stuff. But Balwant Kaur never came. Instead what I used to see on the mountain were some flat chested, malnutritioned, and anemic, and bored to death girls. My friends were not as forgiving as I am, and used to refer to them as “beemaryaN”. My Sahibaan my Balwant never came. All I saw were pot-bellied men huffing and puffing, out of breath middle aged women holding their backs, the girls that I mentioned and kids, a lot of them. But never a jatti for this Mirza. Some of my friends cursed Hindus. They thought that it might be Hindus who must be starving these Sikhs along with themselves. And I wont blame them, cuz we never saw a person from India who didn’t qualify for a TB patient, ever.

Sikhs are good chatters. No doubt about it. The best sense of humor they have. Me and my friends used to have long conversations with some sardar ji from anbala or chandi garh on our way up the mountain under the watchful eyes of plainclothes pretending to be goat herders. But……but, I don’t know how to put this in words. May be, it was the language, Jeez, what have you people done to it. I remember once a kid who was climbing down the mountain along with his parents, slipped and started crying. His mother picked him up and asked if he was hurt. His reply was “baybay dhoee tay bari sakht laggi ay” and started crying. Well, c’mon, what kind language is that. Even, in our villages there are kid’s words for private parts-like nono, coco, dodo, or at least pitth etc. But “dhooee”?, for crying out loud. It is because of you, any chootia from UP and a tileer from luknow calls our language the language of cattle, the dhagga-speak. Its all your fault.

Then I came to United States. Never found a balwant Kaur here either. Blondes? Jeez man they are bland as turnips. I am a wheat worshiper. I love wheat. Can you imagine what would it be, if you add a hint of pomegranate juice in wheat. Just imagine. And you don’t need to go to an arts school to imagine what it would be if you add a little chocolate in the wheat along with pomegranate juice…..or better yet cappuccino instead of chocolate. And then there is dark chocolate, but that is a different story.

I am also traumatized by white blonde women, as you might have guessed already. It all happened two summers ago, when a friend from Toronto called and told me that the government has passed a new regulation, according to which women can go topless in public places. And according to my friend ‘they’ were everywhere on the streets, in those days. So, I drove my car 300 miles to Toronto ‘to verify’ his claims. Of course I was disappointed, as I was driving through the city streets to get to his house. When I met him, he told me that I was roaming about in the wrong streets. So he took me with him after a while. But still nothing. And then all of a sudden, when I stopped at a red light, a pink hippopotamus jumped on the front hood of my car and started squeegee my windscreen. While squeegee-ing, the pink hippopotamus had her one paw on hood and the other blurring my screen with soapy water. The car was pressed on one side and shaking violently with each and every stroke of the squeegee. This excruciating moment ended finally when my window was returned to normal. My jaw was still dropped not with awe but shock. I rolled down my window just a slit bit and slid a loony (that is what canuks call a dollar) outside. “What the hell was that”, I, finally managed to blurt out those words. My friend who was laughing holding his belly since the last millennium, said “That was what you drove 300 miles for, buddy”. So that is the story behind my trauma from pink blonde hippos.

So now I have given you enough reasons to slap me. You can also call me “kutta, kameena, zaleel” along with Kanjar, cuz I can die for these three words if coming from a wheat-face.

THROW UP THE BREAKFAST,

ANny,

here is a news for you from the pakistan legal system, part of the pak constitution, the very constitution and that guides the political process. Instead of writing about rferundun, why cant you at least let the chowk people know, what part of the pak constitution legitimises the leagal system that awards death sentances.

tahmed,

Instead of talking about my lunacy, can you be bold enough to be informative and tell us about the aspect of the pak constitution that legitemises stoning and the legal system under which the judge is operating. For once can you refrain from name calling and be human, not just another pakistani

regards

jay

from dawn of today

Death by stoning

It is concluded from the statement of Zafran Bibi`s lawyer (April 23) that the sentence of stoning to death in a public place has been awarded her on the basis of her confessional statement to having committed the crime.

It is universally accepted that if an accused is convicted on the basis of a portion of his/her own statement, then his/her entire statement made in the court must be taken as correct. Accordingly, whosoever this unfortunate woman alleges as her tormentor, automatically stands convicted.

The text of the judgment of the Additional Sessions Judge, Kohat, must be made public so that not only the people in this country but those all over the world, may know why a woman has been convicted of having committed `zina` while the man named by her as having done this to her was allowed to walk honourably away from the court of law. This is an injustice disguised as justice, and is the worst form of injustice.

It is time that we, as a nation, learn to give due regard to the weaker sex. In having dispensed the most severe punishment to a helpless woman with a child of few months, should we consider ourselves highly sublimated and exalted?

S. ABRAR HUSSAIN

Lahore

#145

re: ballot

….unkal j…the no box had a cross and the yes box

(besides being green in color) had, believe it or not, a check mark…veddy simple, no?…as hard as it may be for you to comprehend, most illiterate pakistanis are capable of understanding this….

Reply Drumz, Tahmed, Sattar2

PLZX!!!

Leasve Urstuly ALONE!!!! He is veryg ood. Also Nasbandibaii sgood, OKAY???

Urstulybai, plzd on`tlistn to them. YOuare doing goodthig. Iam like.

Nasah, Prem

Of course we are all for ``Democracry`` - in a complex and diverse world - we may allow for different paths to towards it. Do you agree that besides elected respresentatives, accountability of persons and policies, the right to replace persons and policies using merit, performance, debate, discussion and consensus are elements of whatr ``Democracy`` means?

Americans or West as orientalists? Certainly, but that is not the entirety of the story - Orientalism as a strain in American or Western thinking - yes certainly.

Pakistan as deserving as anyone else of Democracy? Yes, certainly - They are equally deserving of Liberty - something they did not experience during the decade of Democracy or Kleptocracy - Pakistanis are as deserving as anyone else of the possibility of living secure lives, or lives with a measure of predictablity, and order. Pakistanis are as deserving as anyone else of good governance, of a society free of extremism, of an economy that is transparent and enabling to the participation of ever larger numbers of indivduals, of a level playing field in all public fields.

I think it unfair to imagine that ``Democracy`` has been extinguished in Pakistan - let`s keep our powder dry till after October - and lets keep asking ourselves what ``Democracy`` means - it`s clear that it cannot, it ``ought`` not mean simply elections - it must mean accountability of persons and policies and the judgement or efficacy or merit of these by performance, debate, discussion and consensus.

ITS ABOUT TO GET VIOLENT...

(someone please respond to nasah 176)

Please, ive been waiting for a long time.