Bus Baby

Nice verse,pure intentions.I found the first two para`s moving.For the war mongering hate filled jerks in chowk I hope this poem strickes a chord - who knows perhaps they might find their humanity again.
Nandan

good intentions bad verse!!
-p

Uurstruly:

``Are you a die-hard cycnic who has convinced himself that (H)Indians are animals and refuse to acknowledge any indicators of humanity emnating from that quarter?

Not yet; but I am almost on the verge of being convinced about that.``

Oh Please. Don`t let us stop you. Feel free to be completely convinced that we are animals. It really does not bother us.

lalib #33 Amen. Bina`s poem reminds me of the one my classmate cooked up as part of his homework when we were in class 8:

Title: A Mother`s Hope

Boy oh Boy oh Boy
I wish you were brave as a Sepoy
Boy oh Boy oh Boy
Become a Sepoy or I will Die
Boy oh Boy oh Boy
Dont do anything to make Cry
Boy oh Boy oh Boy.

yes bina, we know about ``imagination`` ... perhaps you could exercise some of it next time round :)

Thanks to those of you who liked the poem... sorry to those of you who didn`t.

For the record, I am not Noor`s mother, but I did write the poem as if I were speaking from her point of view. It`s called ``imagination``. Without it, there would be no historical novels, no science fiction, no mysteries, and probably no books or literature whatsoever.

lalib

theek hay!...jawab dainay jaiNgay tO baat buhat do`or tuk ja sakhti hay...liked your ``NEXT``:)...khush rahain...

rgds,

t

ps: have submitted some poems back in jan or feb...am sure they are lost...but if they surface here someday please be kind...(this is for you too tahmed32) ;)

#25 temporal
i had gathered that the pov was of noor`s mother ... and directness etc. are apt in such a context ... the only masla is that bina is NOT noor`s motehr, has no idea what noor`s mother felt like and from what i gathered from her brief intro has no idea what motherhood (full-stop) is about!! how can she even begin to write from such a complex pov???
it`s basic writing 101 that the author should know what they`re talking about. in this case, bina shah evidently doesn`t.

as for her past posts, well i`ve read a few and haven`t been particularly impressed (i`ve been visting chowk since 99. joined as a member in 2002. i`m slow in just about everything i do). yes yes she`s prolific and has been published two and a hlaf times over ... so what? that doesn`t necessarily make her a writer in my opinion.god knows how many books harld robbins and danielle steele have published!! sorry temp, you`ll have to defend her better than that!!

and you say ``it is not meant to be a literary masterpiece…it is to facilitate discussion over this incident…``. i don`t buy that. it was sent out to chowk because it was `considered` to be a literary piece. noone wants to get a bad poem published!
and to facilitate discussion?? the incident is OLD news now. the discussion should have happened ages ago. too late now. and in any case, ``unplugged`` would have been a better place to `facilitate discussion`.

khair, i think we`ve all wasted enough energy on this piece ... NEXT!! :)))

lalib #23

Bina could do worse
Than take your advice
And overhaul and nurse
Her ``poem`` so its nice

Sir t though assures us
That B cannot be wrong
She sits on Mount Olympus
With the great god Zeus
And with Cheech and with Chong

So though we be mere mortals
Of the chowk portals
We say (as you said) yet again
That ``rhyming words make not a refrain``

Noor, a Pakistani girl came to our land
She touched our hearts although her entrance was not grand
For her all India cared
To make her well no efforts were spared
While Jehadis were blasting Indian kids as planned

Dost Mitter writes:

Are you a die-hard cycnic who has convinced himself that (H)Indians are animals and refuse to acknowledge any indicators of humanity emnating from that quarter?

Not yet; but I am almost on the verge of being convinced about that. The fact is that the shananigans like this (Noor Fatima business) really put me off. I am repulsed and nauseated. Historically, India uses these tricks to keep Paksitans and rest of worlds` attention away from what it does to its own people in other parts of the country. Whenever, there is a talk of peace with Paksitan it quadruples its violence on people of Kashmir. It even starts using its airforce on those unfortunate, helpless, and voiceless people. The Indian genocidal machinary unleashes its full fury on the Noor Fatimas of Kashmir.

The day when a Hindu from mainland India will cover the head of a Noor Fatima from Kashmir with her duppata and would say that he is sorry would be the day I will think of India as it has stepped the thin line towards humanity. And the day when a Hindu will tie a rakhi to the hand of Munir from Kashmir and would say ``bhayya I am sorry`` would be the day. Until that day comes let me puke in my cynicism.

And these so called m/c NGOs, the so called champions of human rights.............I am sorry I can`t complete this sentence. I have to puke now.

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lalib

...since you registered on sep 06, 2002 perhaps…perhaps...you are unaware of her contributions or style…since aug 2 1998 bina has 45 contributions over chowk…not to mention a published author of a book of short stories and a novel with a third in publisher’s hands…

khair…here is my take on this:

…this poem is expressed from the mother’s pov…Noor’s mother…simple straightforward pouring of the heart…notice the construct and the words…it is not meant to be a literary masterpiece…it is to facilitate discussion over this incident…

hope this helps…

rgds,

t

Bina:
Bravo! The content makes up for what`s lacking in literary merit.

Urstruly:
``I dont see what the big deal is. ``
ferozk gave a beautiful answer to that. All I can add is, can you think of Dubai, South Africa or any other country where she would have received almost as much attention as Bill Clinton did in India? Are you a die-hard cycnic who has convinced himself that (H)Indians are animals and refuse to acknowledge any indicators of humanity emnating from that quarter?

i have no problem with the subject. truly.
noor`s case is worth a thought
what i assert/aver quite vociferously
is that bina`s poem is worth nought.

it reeks of excessive effusive emotion;
*sniff* tears rush forth as we hold hands.
Crapak calls it Literature!! WHAT A NOTION!!
Be exiled from these lands!!

the poem is almost as bad as a mills and boons.
in fact, it`s just about the same.
it strives to get us misty-eyed and swoon.
And hug and kiss. tsk tsk. bina. for shame

I`m happy`n`delighted`n`over-the-moon for the two year old.
i`m surely no sadistic boor.
but, Fox News comes to mind (if all truth be told)
when i read your ditty on baby noor.

even propaganda can be good art,
just look at the work of reifenstahl.
but bina, please, have a heart
give your poem an urgent overhaul.

tahmed32 jokes about the mafia and the `fix`.
i was in fits when i read his barbs
and his lingual phonetic poetic tricks.
i concur, we sure as hell ain`t bards :)

and yet again,as yesterday, i do maintain.
rhyming words make not a Refrain.

Anyone know where the hell anNy is these days? Haven`t seen her in ages. If you see this, please mail in!

Bina,

Very Sweet.

I concur with Post 10.

Temporal:

``--there is poetry in motion...in the steps of a classical dancer...be it ballet or bharat natyam ``

Brother Temporal, why are you utaroing me in public. I have never seen ballet or Bharatnatyam. I do emjoy Bhangra and Gidda but to call those jerking motions poetry is a bit much.

``--there is poetry in a baby`s first step...in a baby`s smile...in the parent`s glow...in eyes brimming with..... ``

Saddey vargey dee kismet vich eh vee nahi hai

``--there is poetry in seemingly inane notes exchanged between lovers...in their conversation...in their eyes... ``

Hun mai kee dassan!!!


``--there is poetry in an aero dynamic fighter taking off...as in a sitting duck being blasted into smithereen... ``

That is true. I love the landings of fighter planes as they come down to earth gracefully, their nose edging up slightly, the wheels coming down and the glide...That is poetry in motion.

``--there is poetry in rustling leaves as the lovers walk in the park... ``

:( If you say so.

#8 by temporal on August 12, 2003 7:56am PT#8 by temporal on August 12, 2003 7:56am
``binoo:

...from the indian press reports they opened their hearts and wallets...the press put on positive spin...
...from the pakistani press reports...well, they were less than gracious...don`t know for sure why...knee-jerkism?...still not free?...biased?...other issue on their plate?...

...yeah, who knows...we just might have found a start:)
...t
................................

Similar thoughts expressed here in a letter to Dawn:

http://www.dawn.com/2003/07/20/letted.htm#9


Healing the hearts


It was heart-warming to see baby Noor Fatima undergo a heart surgery successfully in Bangalore. Most Indian newspapers reported it as a step (though small) towards friendship with Pakistan. All Indians felt deeply for her and prayed for a successful operation and recovery.

But this did not get as much attention from the Pakistan media and the news was either missing or very briefly and casually stated in the Pakistan newspapers. This operation was important not just because Fatima is a Pakistani girl who was successfully operated upon in India (previously also many such Pakistani kids have been treated in India), but that at only two-and-a-half years of age she had holes in her heart and also because she was one of those who specially came travelling to India last Friday by the first bus of the resumed New Delhi-Lahore bus service.

And the high hopes of her parents did not go stray. Moreover, every small step towards breaking the ice counts at this stage when the two countries are setting the right mood.

ALKA GIRDHAR

Kehnday nay naina,
Teray kol rehna ...

I remember thinking the day baby noor came back to Pakistan if she had any idea about what she means to the future of two great nationstates?

What is ironic is that without the hostility that exists between Pakistan and India, it would have been impossible for this to come about. It is the will to overcome this hostility which made Indians receive Our little Noor, our noor-e-Pakistan, with such open arms.

tahmed32:

somehow i missed your little gem #7...now it is a toss up...both of you should do an encore...resolve kashmir in two minutes or less...and get nominated for noble...in both peace and literature....

stuka:

...don`t sell yourself short...nobody is an illiterate when it comes to poetry...and this includes reading, writing, and appreciating poetry...the latter we do (sometimes) without realization...

--there is poetry in motion...in the steps of a classical dancer...be it ballet or bharat natyam
--there is poetry in a baby`s first step...in a baby`s smile...in the parent`s glow...in eyes brimming with.....
--there is poetry in seemingly inane notes exchanged between lovers...in their conversation...in their eyes...
--there is poetry in an aero dynamic fighter taking off...as in a sitting duck being blasted into smithereen...
--there is poetry in rustling leaves as the lovers walk in the park...

…and if these magical moments are conveyed to you in words…and if you feel them then there is another kind of poetry...

...t

ps: binoo do i get some rahs?

Stuka #11 Just joining lalib in rapping Bina Shah for getting lazy with her poetry writing. ;-)

Just look at her first verse:

``I put my child on the bus
And I prayed to God
That they might be able to fix her
I never thought in my wildest imagination
That she might be able to fix them
And at the same time,
That she might be able to fix us. ``

What IS this anyway?? Some kind of a mafia deal where everyone and his grandma is getting fixed?? I have seen Pakistani journalists write better stuff without even pretending that it is anything but prose - and if you read Dawn or News or something you will know how thoroughly the Pakistani journalists make hash out of the english language.

Temporal: hmm, ok. I get the answer. :)

Bina: I am an illiterate when it comes to appreciating poetry. But I liked reading this.

stuka:

..hmmm...that`s a sitting duck bud...a dumb sitting duck for a spitfire...;)

This might be a dumb question..is Bina Shah really Noor`s mom? Or is she just writing the poem as if she`s her mom?

TAhmed: Are you trying to be the desi eminmem :)

re: Bina

Heartfelt poem. The sentiment and the topic of sentiments expressed does not lend to cynism, but to hope.

re: Urstruly # 5

What is the big deal? There is no big deal and you are right, Pakistani children travel all over the world for treatment.

They travel all over the world and they get treatment all over the world, but unlike Noor, they are not a metaphor for hope and promise to more than 1.2 billion people who wake up, toil their days and sleep at night knowing that any minute all their lives could end in a brilliant glow, more brilliant than the sun.

What is the big deal?

A little girl, who can for one minute stop two historically implacable neighbors from hating each other and think alike of hope, promise and life in a sea of misery, proverty and death is a big deal! More than 1.2 billion people thinking about one little girl; praying for her at the same time and hoping that she lives, while putting aside the tedium of their lives for the success of her life, is a big deal! The fact that Noor can make the people of India and Pakistan think about something else instead of hating each other, is a big deal!

The big deal is in your capacity to love, to heal, to care, to wish for a some thing better; to hope and to believe in some thing more than a sum of hate filled historic anger.

Ciao

bilal

:)

fresh and original

binoo:

We went looking for her life,
And found something else along the way,
Who knows? We just might have found a start.

baby noor is an conundrum ...an enigma...

...from the indian press reports they opened their hearts and wallets...the press put on positive spin...

...from the pakistani press reports...well, they were less than gracious...don`t know for sure why...knee-jerkism?...still not free?...biased?...other issue on their plate?...

...yeah, who knows...we just might have found a start:)

...t

NGOs are attributing unnecessary emotionalism to the this Noor business. I dont see what the big deal is. Paksitani children go all over the world to get treatment but nobody writes poems for South Africa or Dubai.

No comments on the structure but the content and subject is amazing. :)
cheers
raza

lalib #1
So you wrote that one in five minutes flat
Hell! I`m gonna beat that!
Awraaaaaght!!

T`is twenty nine past ten in the morn as I start
So watch me through this poem dart
Before you can say ``Baby with hole in the heart``

So what do I write in this time?
Words that gotta rhyme!!
Thoughts that are worth not a dime!!

Ten thirty three says the system clock
To my writing I must put a lock
And take my ass to dry-dock.

Done
I beat your time
I have won!!

(PS: And I cant write poems either
Like you I got no talent, neither!!)

Bina,
A truly wonderful li`l piece de work. Hats off to you for picking on a piece of news and making it literature.
Read your book `Where they dream in Blue` and it was faaaabulous...actually read it quite some time back but just found the right time to respond.
Crapak.

what sort of poem does chowk allow
to be published on the website, here, enow?

is the criterion simply a hundred words a-rhyming?
if so, i have a few verses worth transcribing.

Better than most chowkposts, i can`t guarantee
but AFFECTED&CONTRIVED, they surely wouldn`t be

I`m sorry bina. your poem i did not like.
clear your head. breath deep. go take a hike.

take ``bus baby`` back to the drawing board ms. shah.
give it more substance than just blah blah.

instead of doting on noor fixing us, fixing them.
perhaps you should give the 2 year old a shot at your po-em.

learn dear bina, that not everyone`s an artist
i think that of my rant and rave, that is the gist.

disclaimer:
these lines were penned in five minutes max.
i make no claims at being a poet. nor am. (alas)

Always a fan of your work Bina. But this one works only because of the context! Can`t find too much artistic merit in it, I must admit :)))

Do you really think Baby Noor is the start of something positive? I`d like to believe that but apart from the idealists and peaceniks finding their posterchild, did anything ``real`` come out of this whole exercise?

An innocent child has her life back because she got the right medical facilities in time. It could have been in Bangalore or Baltimore or Baden-Baden

---

this time it just happened to be somewhere that has everyone jumping up and taking notice.

All I can say is

---

Be happy for the little one.

Plus ça change, plus c’est la même chose.

arrite, this isn`t fair bina, i can`t even criticize this poem due to the subject material.

i wonder how the little girl is doing