Kahan Se Aap Zamaney Ke Bad Aye Hain

Rakaposh #19 and Ijaz Gul: While not wishing to give Mr. Ijaz Gul a hard time and insist that he is being self centered in all this, but...

...when ijaz gul #25 says that he wrote only about his own feelings because of his ignorance of Patricia thoughts begs the question: how can a man be crazy for a woman without knowing she thinks? the logical answer of course is: because he is crazy for something other than what she thinks. And that something other has to be physical attraction and/or some image in his mind. For all he knows, her mind may have been a devil`s workshop; or a mind of mother teresa; or perhaps there was nothing between those two wonderful ears other than complete vacuum.

As I said, I dont want to give Ijaz sahib a hard time on this: after all, ``men were deceivers ever`` (as janaab shakespeare sahib put it correctly as usual)(and as self must admit was the case in self`s younger days). But at least lets not feel sorry for these chappies who have this fancy for women as love objects, not as real people with real thoughts.

written well. two thumbs up!

Ijaz

Its not easy to go to those corners of our hearts which we were most earnest to close. But thanks for revisiting, A very good effort indeed.

Syed Ali

#22 by nazarhayatkhan on October 26, 2003 4:16am PT

[I am not a clinical psychiatrist and could be wrong.]

I am glad your clarified that for the curious minds :)

[But aren`t testosterons and estrogens, quietly residing below the many velvet covers of love, that actually trigger the emotion of love.]

Any supporting research to validate that ? It will be educational for all.

Meri wafa bhi fasana, Teri jaffa bhi fasson
yahan har eik ki majboorian hain ghonah ghoon.
Yeh ehtram e tamana yeh ehtiat e janoon
Kay theri bat karoon aur there nam na loon

I wish to register the comments of all friends who read my article, both for appreciation and criticism. Good words are encouraging while the criticism is objective for the better. I accept I am not a story writer and this was my first attempt. A sad story in nazarhayatkhan`s web page put my thoughts into motion and I typed the story in one go. So all the feelings were the first thoughts and there were no revisions. There may be good and bad in it and being human I am apt to err and accept it. I realise that writing on a public forum I make myself vulnerable to critics and do so willingly.

I am particularly thankful to stuka, zahraj, ironman and fosa for coming out in my defence. Frankly, when the article wasn`t posted for three days, I thought it was rejected.

Chokraboys are equivalents of street kids. I was a mercy boarder educated by the missionaries. Entitled to their own views, some anglo people did look down upon us and called us street children. The episode was a catalyst that urged a ruffian to get serious in life and move on.

I believe that there is a loner in all of us. I also believe that the best motivation to perform comes when others look down upon you, the man in you reacts substantively. The resopnse cannot be collective.

As for the tears, yes they were for the twists destiny takes. I did feel for her as I feel that the destiny played cruel to her. Mention of my mother does not make it an equivalent. Its only to emphasise an occasion.

As for self centered and self pity attitude, my ignorance of what Patricia thought left no options. How could I read her emotions. The story is only about how I felt.

Azure, I have begun writing my experiences on Gashebrum I, the Hidden Peak. You will read them soon with some photos.

=== Interact Filtered ===
view this users filtered interacts

=== Interact Filtered ===
view this users filtered interacts

ZaraJ # 15

(I am sorry testosterones do not intervene here at all. Ok!)

I am not a clinical psychiatrist and could be wrong.

But aren`t testosterons and estrogens, quietly residing below the many velvet covers of love, that actually trigger the emotion of love.

Once again, I could be wrong.

that was incredibly touching....
best part is u have someone special in your life..

``that`ll teach you, patricia`s mom - and you too patricia - for refusing to dance with me even though i told you we would be the smartest couple on the dance floor is what I hear you saying. Patricia is better off being single than living her life with a self-centered man like you.

---

ab aaisee bhi koi baat nahi hai tahmad 32 saab.

I mostly noticed sadness, nostalgia, maybe self pity for not getting Patricia at the right time and struggle to be someone and to excel in this article....
and not what you mentioned.

I felt bad for Patricia though....
yeh kehaN sai kehaN puhunch gayay
vo vaheenCh kharee hai...

Ijaz,

Gripping stuff.

All of us men (and women too I suspect) have a list of the `one that got away`.
As prophet hamidm has stated, this list is often revealed in weak moments (say after imbibing a couple or when trying to comfort a heartbroken friend).

There is one simple and effective cure.

Look at your spouse. I mean really, really look at him/her. Rest assured that your spouse appears on someone`s list somewhere.

...if that thought doesn`t cure you...rest assured nothing will!

sorry to spoil the nostalgia, but you seem more preoccupied with yourself than with patricia. i get the sense you are almost satisfied at seeing she is still single because that nasty mom of his who called you chokraboy was too choosy, while you are a hundred feet tall with a great wife and kid and career and athletic stuff and everything.

you say you thank patricia for making you what you are. however, what i hear you saying (putting on my dr. phil hat) is this: ``that`ll teach you, patricia`s mom - and you too patricia - for refusing to dance with me even though i told you we would be the smartest couple on the dance floor is what I hear you saying. Patricia is better off being single than living her life with a self-centered man like you.

having said that, your story also reminds me of dante and beatrice: he saw her just once i think, when she was eight or nine, and spent the rest of his life writing all sorts of poetry inspired by this image he had in his mind. beatrice meanwhile grew up to be a plump, matronly woman who would no doubt have never imagined the affect she had on our hero. only difference of course is that dante was not wrapped up in his own self as you are, and sublimated this unfulfilled desire for beatrice to produce great literature.

** Skip my post below which is the same as this but with some confusing typos **

sorry to spoil the nostalgia, but you seem more preoccupied with yourself than with patricia. i get the sense you are almost satisfied at seeing she is still single because that nasty mom of hers who called you chokraboy was too choosy, while you are a hundred feet tall with a great wife and kid and career and athletic stuff and everything.

you say you thank patricia for making you what you are. however, what i hear you saying (putting on my dr. phil hat) is this: ``that`ll teach you, patricia`s mom - and you too patricia - for refusing to dance with me even though i told you we would be the smartest couple on the dance floor``. Patricia is better off being single than living her life with a self-centered man like you.

having said that, your story also reminds me of dante and beatrice: he saw her just once i think, when she was eight or nine, and spent the rest of his life writing all sorts of poetry inspired by this image he had in his mind. beatrice meanwhile grew up to be a plump, matronly woman who would no doubt have never imagined the affect she had on our hero. only difference of course is that dante was not wrapped up in his own self as you are, and sublimated this unfulfilled desire for beatrice to produce great literature.

=== Interact Filtered ===
view this users filtered interacts

very well written indeed.

But what I dont understand is that you are happily married to a wonderful woman and have a sweetest little daughter and you are crying for a love....in your teenage years which was mostly one sided and where you probably didn`t even have a chance to say 20 words to the girl.

I just found it strange that you compared these emotions to the loss of your mother. I dont think there is any comparison.

Everyone of us goes through puppy loves and even serious long term relationships which somehow dont work out in the end due to zalim samajh but paapi wuqt is a big time healer. I think only writers or poets or sensitive guys can still feel the same emotions 30 years later and still cry.....

Raka ` insenstive? ` Posh !

Very beautifully written Ijaz! Destiny - very unusual element in our life, something we regret to believe in, but we end up looking at it, and to our disbelief it makes us realize what we were, and how we come to this juncture to what we now have become!

Truly emotional and touching! Something that amazes me is that, I always thought a woman has many stories to tell, but I have been mistaken too long! A man too has many stories of the heart to narrate!

p.s what is a chokraboy?