Kahan Se Aap Zamaney Ke Bad Aye Hain

``that`ll teach you, patricia`s mom - and you too patricia - for refusing to dance with me even though i told you we would be the smartest couple on the dance floor is what I hear you saying. Patricia is better off being single than living her life with a self-centered man like you.

---

ab aaisee bhi koi baat nahi hai tahmad 32 saab.

I mostly noticed sadness, nostalgia, maybe self pity for not getting Patricia at the right time and struggle to be someone and to excel in this article....
and not what you mentioned.

I felt bad for Patricia though....
yeh kehaN sai kehaN puhunch gayay
vo vaheenCh kharee hai...

Ijaz,

Gripping stuff.

All of us men (and women too I suspect) have a list of the `one that got away`.
As prophet hamidm has stated, this list is often revealed in weak moments (say after imbibing a couple or when trying to comfort a heartbroken friend).

There is one simple and effective cure.

Look at your spouse. I mean really, really look at him/her. Rest assured that your spouse appears on someone`s list somewhere.

...if that thought doesn`t cure you...rest assured nothing will!

sorry to spoil the nostalgia, but you seem more preoccupied with yourself than with patricia. i get the sense you are almost satisfied at seeing she is still single because that nasty mom of his who called you chokraboy was too choosy, while you are a hundred feet tall with a great wife and kid and career and athletic stuff and everything.

you say you thank patricia for making you what you are. however, what i hear you saying (putting on my dr. phil hat) is this: ``that`ll teach you, patricia`s mom - and you too patricia - for refusing to dance with me even though i told you we would be the smartest couple on the dance floor is what I hear you saying. Patricia is better off being single than living her life with a self-centered man like you.

having said that, your story also reminds me of dante and beatrice: he saw her just once i think, when she was eight or nine, and spent the rest of his life writing all sorts of poetry inspired by this image he had in his mind. beatrice meanwhile grew up to be a plump, matronly woman who would no doubt have never imagined the affect she had on our hero. only difference of course is that dante was not wrapped up in his own self as you are, and sublimated this unfulfilled desire for beatrice to produce great literature.

** Skip my post below which is the same as this but with some confusing typos **

sorry to spoil the nostalgia, but you seem more preoccupied with yourself than with patricia. i get the sense you are almost satisfied at seeing she is still single because that nasty mom of hers who called you chokraboy was too choosy, while you are a hundred feet tall with a great wife and kid and career and athletic stuff and everything.

you say you thank patricia for making you what you are. however, what i hear you saying (putting on my dr. phil hat) is this: ``that`ll teach you, patricia`s mom - and you too patricia - for refusing to dance with me even though i told you we would be the smartest couple on the dance floor``. Patricia is better off being single than living her life with a self-centered man like you.

having said that, your story also reminds me of dante and beatrice: he saw her just once i think, when she was eight or nine, and spent the rest of his life writing all sorts of poetry inspired by this image he had in his mind. beatrice meanwhile grew up to be a plump, matronly woman who would no doubt have never imagined the affect she had on our hero. only difference of course is that dante was not wrapped up in his own self as you are, and sublimated this unfulfilled desire for beatrice to produce great literature.

=== Interact Filtered ===
view this users filtered interacts

very well written indeed.

But what I dont understand is that you are happily married to a wonderful woman and have a sweetest little daughter and you are crying for a love....in your teenage years which was mostly one sided and where you probably didn`t even have a chance to say 20 words to the girl.

I just found it strange that you compared these emotions to the loss of your mother. I dont think there is any comparison.

Everyone of us goes through puppy loves and even serious long term relationships which somehow dont work out in the end due to zalim samajh but paapi wuqt is a big time healer. I think only writers or poets or sensitive guys can still feel the same emotions 30 years later and still cry.....

Raka ` insenstive? ` Posh !

Very beautifully written Ijaz! Destiny - very unusual element in our life, something we regret to believe in, but we end up looking at it, and to our disbelief it makes us realize what we were, and how we come to this juncture to what we now have become!

Truly emotional and touching! Something that amazes me is that, I always thought a woman has many stories to tell, but I have been mistaken too long! A man too has many stories of the heart to narrate!

p.s what is a chokraboy?

#7: I am sorry testosterones do not intervene here at all. Ok! Please get down from the high horse of macho-ness. You may not have intended that but that`s how you came across. You make it sound as if it`s inherent in a young man to adopt that route. The way Ijaz has written his feelings make it sound and seem very different. The sentiments have sweetness, purity and respect for the said person vs. being driven by male macho-ness(a despicable tendency) to get what he wants regardless of the feelings of the other side.

The romance never landed where it needed to, but on the flip side the mother in the picture could have been a nuisance. Some women can be very vicious. Thank God he is in safe hands. He should be very thankful to God. Something else that must be appreciated here is the fact that he did not imply anywhere that his childhood sweetheart was playing hard to get (another despicable male tendency!)

The writer has all my respects for the inherent goodness that is self evident from this article.

This is the sweetest and cutest article ever written by any sane and well put together male on Chowk!

It`s the beginning/end of fall at different parts of the world. And, it`s quite natural to get into that mode where you start thinking about all the people who have touched your life in someway or the other....

Happy Fall to all the readers!

Ijaz, beautiful and extremely poignant.

Ijaz:

...a pleasure to read... and welcome to chowk...here is Mirza for you:

Kkhtay haiN jub rahi na mujhay ta`qat-e-sukhan
janooN kis kay dil ki maiN kyun ker kahay baghair

rgds

t

...... good story.......... but now stop moping around and get on with your life .........i have friends who, after a few drinks, still get all teary eyed when they talk about girls from thirty years ago ............ you had your chance and you blew it .... tough!

=== Interact Filtered ===
view this users filtered interacts

=== Interact Filtered ===
view this users filtered interacts

Beautiful story Ijaz. I guess many of us can relate to this story. We all have gone through something like this in our lives. Too young at that time to be considered seriously by the girls parents. Only if they had the oppturinity to see us now and see the difference!!!!!

Thank you God for everything.

Ijaz Gul

Touching & told very well. The testosterons play wonders with emotions, thoughts & dreams.

I have lived through a fantasy for few a decades - but that is another story.

Ijaz sahib, this is simply beautiful, and sad too. The other side never realizes what a man might be going through and he finds everything to be hurting and killing him... that`s how it goes. I hope you feel a lot better after writing this up and sharing with us.

You climb mountains, a daring man you are. How does it feel to be up there away from everyone and everything, standing at the cold airless zenith fighting against the forces of nature... doesn`t it give you strength and courage? Don`t you feel indestructable and powerful deep inside you, momentarily? Integrate those positive feelings with the feelings of loss, sadness and nostalgia that bother you... and I`m sure that with that kind of courage no mountain would seem a difficult challenge for you... be it inside your heart or a cold merciless sierra.

:-)