Death Be Not Proud

ali
sorry to hear about your loss...really, when you are close to someone this much, its too difficult to accept that he/she is not there anymore...not even a phonecall away...may your friend rest in peace!
fiz

Hi Ali,

I am sorry to hear of your loss. It is so difficult to bear the emotional pain of losing the ones we love. I pray to Allah to grant `sabr` to your friend`s parents, and wife and child, and to all who knew him. Amen. I recalled a poem about pain which I am writing below.

Pain
By Ivor Gurney (written during WWI)

Pain, pain continual; pain unending;
Hard even to the roughest, but to those
Hungry for beauty ... Not the wisest knows,
Nor most pitiful-hearted, what the wending
Of one hour`s way meant. Grey monotony lending
Weight to the gry skies, grey mud where goes
An army of grey bedrenched scarecrows in rows
Careless a last of cruellest Fate-sending.
Seeing the pitiful eyes of men foredone,
Or horses shot, too tired to merely stir,
Dying in shell-holes both, slain by mud.
Men broken, shreiking even to hear a gun.
Till pain grinds down, or lethargy numbs her,
The amazed heart cries angrily out on God.

Hi Ali,

I am sorry to hear of your loss. It is so difficult to bear the emotional pain of losing the ones we love. I pray to Allah to grant `sabr` to your friend`s parents, and wife and child, and to all who knew him. Amen. I recalled a poem about pain which I am writing below.

Pain
By Ivor Gurney (written during WWI)

Pain, pain continual; pain unending;
Hard even to the roughest, but to those
Hungry for beauty ... Not the wisest knows,
Nor most pitiful-hearted, what the wending
Of one hour`s way meant. Grey monotony lending
Weight to the gry skies, grey mud where goes
An army of grey bedrenched scarecrows in rows
Careless a last of cruellest Fate-sending.
Seeing the pitiful eyes of men foredone,
Or horses shot, too tired to merely stir,
Dying in shell-holes both, slain by mud.
Men broken, shreiking even to hear a gun.
Till pain grinds down, or lethargy numbs her,
The amazed heart cries angrily out on God.

``Dear beautious death the jewel of the just
Shining nowhere but in the dark
What myst`ries do lie beyond thy dust
Could man out look the mark.``

-Henry Vaughan

Moving and heart rending. Ali I share your grief in this. Manaan was an acquaintance of mine in Quaid - i- Azam University and I also received the news here in the US, close to midnight; I just could not beleive it. I agree, ``What a waste``.

The way you described him brought him back to life in my memory. I knew him very well although he was in a different department, we happened to be members of various literary and social clubs. He was a gem of a person; honest, shy and always smiling...

Life is beautiful at the surface but ugly and rotten at the core. I have learnt one thing in life; never trust it, never love it, it will definitely betray you. After I lost my brother I thought I would become immune to grief but actually it has further weakened me. Death takes your worries away all at once but life kills you slowly each day.

Hello, all. It has been a while since I have written on Chowk.

YLH, you raise an important question about secularism and Islam (or any religion for that matter).

Have you read `What Went Wrong? : The Clash Between Islam and Modernity in the Middle East` by Bernard Lewis? There are some pointers there for your question. Lewis` rationale for the trouble that Islamic societies have in adopting secularism in the way most Western societies interpret it is as follows:

a) Early Christianity was in conflict with the state for 300 years, and the Church developed its own institutions (initially underground) to survive. This engendered a great deal of suspicion between the state and early Christians. Islam faced no such difficuly. Not only did Mohammed become an absolute sovereign in his lifetime, ruling over vast lands, but Sharia was ultimately implemented with no apparent conflict between Islam and the state. Without the history of conflict between Church and state that Christianity experienced, there simply is no precedent in Islamic history for a separation between the two. Lesson: It won`t be easy for devout Muslims to find a precedent in Islam for the need to separate the two. Note, even with the early conflict in Christianity, it took another 1200 years for Reformation to complete the separation in the modern sense of the word. How will Islam manage without such guidance from its history?

b) In the Bible (Mark 12), there is a verse, `` ‘Render to Caesar the things that are Caesar`s, and to God the things that are God`s``. This verse is often cited as an underpinning of the principle of separation of Church and state. There is no equivalent verse in the Koran that the devout can point to.

c) The Christian Reformation -- there is no such equivalent in Islam. Even the Shia-Sunni difference is over political power, not religious doctrine, and has therefore not been able to prepare the groundwork for a separation of religion and state.

In other words, due to a quirk of historical events, Islamic societies are handicapped when it comes to addressing issues such as these. This is frequently manifested right here on Chowk, when many are dismissive of any need to draw a distinction between Church and state and deride such debate as being useless and meaningless (as Fuzair points out in #15). It will not be easy to evolve a consensus, and the road ahead is going to be troublesome -- the consequences are going to be disastrous. In that sense, Hamidm is right in his pessimistic outlook. Just look at Turkey. Turkey requires the full power of an authoritarian state apparatus to bottle up non-secular forces, to impose a secular order. That is certainly not an organic, consensus-driven process. Where would Turkey end up, if the military were to lift all restrictions on religious activity?

The larger question is: where do societies that are unable to separate religious dogma from public policy end up in an increasingly complex world?

Ali:

my condolences for your loss. sometimes friends are more dear than one`s family...and to lose them is devastating. i hope his wife and child find enough strength to survive through this trauma.

Nooralain and Hashim Ali,

Thankyou for sharing this poem ... in an uncertain world, this poem to me represents the epitome of courage and character....


John Donne

72. ``Death be not proud, though some have called thee``

DEATH be not proud, though some have called thee
Mighty and dreadfull, for, thou art not so,
For, those, whom thou think`st, thou dost overthrow,
Die not, poore death, nor yet canst thou kill me.
From rest and sleepe, which but thy pictures bee, 5
Much pleasure, then from thee, much more must flow,
And soonest our best men with thee doe goe,
Rest of their bones, and soules deliverie.
Thou art slave to Fate, Chance, kings, and desperate men,
And dost with poyson, warre, and sicknesse dwell, 10
And poppie, or charmes can make us sleepe as well,
And better then thy stroake; why swell`st thou then;
One short sleepe past, wee wake eternally,
And death shall be no more; death, thou shalt die.

What a heartfelt and heart-rending tribute to a childhood friend!

Beyond all the implications of this tragic death for a desperate need to value life more, perhaps the best we can do is take a moment to reflect on our mortality, and the preciousness of every living moment. You have urged me to step back and do that... I only wish it wouldn`t have required a tragedy like this to wake us up!

May you find the strength somehow to deal with this senseless loss.

Re: post #3 Ijaz; I have no doubt that Mani would be alive today if we had the equivalent in Pakistan of an EMS service where paramedics could have attended him at the scene of the accident and stabilized him before transporting him to the hospital. Unfortunately, human life is cheap in Pakistan and resources are scarce so....

Re: #4 Nooralain is right, the title of the piece, ``Death Be Not Proud`` is the title of a poem by John Donne (1572-1631). It begins
``DEATH be not proud, though some have called thee
Mighty and dreadfull, for, thou art not so``.

For those interested in poetry, the stanza can be found here http://www.bartleby.com/105/72.html

For those looking for more works from Donne, check here http://www.luminarium.org/sevenlit/donne/

ali:

...first i should mention that i am very awkward on two occasions, one when offering condolences and the other when saying goodbyes...today i had to do both...so i wrote up this I-log entry and as i read this i think i should stop here and reproduce the two relevant entries from the i log...

---

October 24, 2003

More goodbyes

have just returned from two farewells…one a young man…a week in icu…resigned his life’s commission yesterday morning…the gathering at their house was divided for lack of space…men folks at another house nearby…the usual talk…He giveth He taketh away…yeah well!…this is the stuff that stretches and tests faith…will say no more…not today… …the other…hopefully a goodbye at the airport terminal…hopefully….because hopefully we shall meet again…hope….another tenuous relationship…between hope and faith…there….faith…and we keep stretching the limits… …faith sustains…though it can be such a killer at times…


October 21, 2003

is it better to be a pig than a man?

…i sound apologetic and unconvincing when bidding farewells…one never knows how final they can be!…will we see them another day or never?…what will happen to the existing relationship with that person?…will it survive the travails of times and distance?…the connections between individuals seemingly strong and unbreakable are really tenuous at best…and between an individual and life are even more suspect…yet in our vanity we act as if there is no tomorrow…and knowingly or unintentionally spread pain and hurt around…for we are human…animals, have heard have no such compunctions…or conscience!…what am i saying?…. is it better to be a pig than a man?…am reminded of Goodbye/Alwidah

ali,
my condolences on the loss of your friend

yasser,
while some books may have the title `death be not proud`, i think they all get it from the seventeenth-century english poet John Donne`s poem of the same title.

I`m sitting here and I`ve read the story and it has made me sad. I`m not sure of what to say, or how to say it. Certain things just wouldn`t be right. I`m so sorry, if I ever had to endure that, I`m not sure I`d have the strength to survive. I tend to be emotional and have a hard time expressing what I wish to say. However your story tugged at my heart strings. Please accept my deepest condolences on this unrecoverable loss.

A very sad story... May God give you patience... goes to show the temporal nature of things which we have to reconcile with... may God never test us.

The name `Death be not proud` ... is it inspired from the famous book `Death be not proud` about a couple and their fight for the survival of their enterprising son`s life from 1948?

-YLH

Abdul Mannan was my class fellow and 2 days before his death we had been sitting together. I was shocked to know that he such a nice pice person has died. He was a very hard working and thorough gentleman. May Allah rest him in peace. Ameen

Unlike other cities of Pakistan, there is an element of selfishness and couldn`t care less attitude about the drivers and people of Rawalpindi. Having driven all over the country, I find drivers in Rawalpindi-Islamabad as the most difficult to contend with. Perhaps it has something to do with the resource starved Pathwari Syndrome which creates a selfish competition for space. In a catastrophe, they are least helpful.

Many a precious lives have been lost to rash wagon drivers in these twin cities. The list includes Parveen Shakir, a few high ranking government officials and some diplomats. Though traffic impatience is writ large all over Pakistan, drivers of the Twin Cities are the worst and most dangerous. They seldom apologise,stare offensively even if the fault is theirs,hank horns in an irritating rhythem, observe no code, stop in the middle of nowhere if a slightest touch comes to their vehicle and run away if they hit someone.

Living in Islamabad, I have made it a habit to be extremely cautious around bends and squares even when the traffic signals are working to perfection. I just dont trust these Mini Buses and Taxis in Islamabad contending for space and passengers.

My heart is with Mani`s family and I share the grief at having lost a Qaidian colleague.

Ali Hashmi:
Your tribute to Mani is too personal for me to comment on. But, your one statement bears further looking into: ``The familyhad fallen back on the familiar religio-cultural rationale: It was ‘his time’, God wanted him back etc...``

In the past year, there have been two deaths in the immediate family and one of a dear friend`s brother, and the attitude is the same. From ``Allah ki marzee`` to ``Itna achha din tha, Ramazan ka badda roza`` to ``Ibaadat kartey-kartey...``. Now, I understand that people have these sentiments. To be honest, those family members who are religious coped better. Somehow all their energies were diverted to the `suras` they read.

However, as in the case of your friend, must it stop there? Many years ago when my cousin died, there was every reason to fight a case. Bhaijaan was ill, but it was clearly the negligence involved. His sister, a psychiatrist in the US, could have easily pursued the case. I was willing to write about it, but since I did not want to use my profession for personal reasons alone, I wanted authenticity. I said I would get the hospital`s version too. And when I asked my cousin to give me her quotes as a doctor, she refused to get involved! She had no problems going everywhere to get taweezes and holy threads from all manner of religious places, but could not take a stand where her role was most natural.

Religion can only give strength to its believers, it cannot save lives.

Farzana