Umair Naeem October 19, 2004
#9 Posted by M.B.Z.Isphahani on October 26, 2004 6:00:41 am
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#7 Posted by M.B.Z.Isphahani on October 23, 2004 8:51:25 pm
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#6 Posted by umairn on October 21, 2004 6:19:22 am
You picked up on a very vital point Eesh. There are bits and pieces left to the reader`s imagination, to continue the feeling of suspense. I did think about lengthening certain areas, where i felt there was more to be said, but i wanted the narrative to be flowing and not to start becoming dull. I wanted the reader to be `Michael`, and to wonder what they would do if they were to find themselves in Mike`s situation.
Thanks for the comments and the encouragement Eesh, they are greatly appreciated!
cheers.
Thanks for the comments and the encouragement Eesh, they are greatly appreciated!
cheers.
#5 Posted by umairn on October 20, 2004 6:34:08 pm
Interesting thought Urstruly. I guess we can`t perceive the Abdulghafoors of this world popping into an alternate timeline! Not yet i guess... thanks for the encouragement.
#4 Posted by eesh on October 20, 2004 6:34:08 pm
#3 >What is wrong with our perception
Why must there be something wrong with your perception? It doesn`t seem like Abdulghfoor would ever be part of a setup which would be first to experiment with time travel. He is going to have to take rickshaw to go see Perveen for as long as I can anticipate. I think you, Urstruly, were alluding to something similar there.
Hey, UN... yet again a great read. And unlike the last time, I couldn`t see whats coming. If you were to allow yourself a longer, much longer, narration... you could have sketched the situations and feelings with more details. I felt there was some room left to the discretion of reader`s imagination in the depiction of certain important situations. But the plot is engrossing enough to keep one reading on. Very interesting..... a travel to another possibility-of-existance.... not exactly time travel. =)
Cheers,
Why must there be something wrong with your perception? It doesn`t seem like Abdulghfoor would ever be part of a setup which would be first to experiment with time travel. He is going to have to take rickshaw to go see Perveen for as long as I can anticipate. I think you, Urstruly, were alluding to something similar there.
Hey, UN... yet again a great read. And unlike the last time, I couldn`t see whats coming. If you were to allow yourself a longer, much longer, narration... you could have sketched the situations and feelings with more details. I felt there was some room left to the discretion of reader`s imagination in the depiction of certain important situations. But the plot is engrossing enough to keep one reading on. Very interesting..... a travel to another possibility-of-existance.... not exactly time travel. =)
Cheers,
#3 Posted by Urstruly on October 20, 2004 11:59:11 am
Good read. I was wondering how would reader perceive this story if you replaced the names such as Michael and Simone with abdulghafoor and Perveen, for example. The story would have instantlly become less plausible even though it is set in a time that is decades in future. What is wrong with our perception.
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