Still in Love

nice poem ... i m new to chowk ... so salamun alaykun n hello to everyone ... :)

``hai zalim kabhi mujhay apne seynay say to` lagaa lay,
phir tujhey apne mohabat kay zulm say azad karain gay``

wah wah hamidm miaN -- keya pakeeza kheyal hai -- senay say lagaa kay -- Mohabbat ke Zulm -- ya Zulm-e Mohabbat -- say azad kur dayna -- jazakallah -- I don`t think this poetry thing should be bothering you again -- any more.......alhumdulillah

nasah,

......... aap ki hosla afzahi ka shukria ........ you know that this poetry thing has been bothering me for a long time ?......... i never know when it is real and when someone is just trying to pull a fast one .......... but i think i am getting the hang of it .... so, arz kiya hai :

hai zalim kabhi mujhay apne seynay say to` lagaa lay,
phir tujhey apne mohabat kay zulm say azad karain gay

aur .....

ik toota huwa dil hai seesay ki dewar kay peechay
lakhon hasratain dafn hain khamoosh mazar kay neechay

........no?.......... i am working on it .......

``ik toota huwa dil hai seesay ki dewar kay peechay
lakhon hasratain dafn hain khamoosh mazar kay neechay``

wah wah subhanallah mashallah -- phir se purhiye -- u r a measured poet -- hamidmtoo

thanks buddy. The hug is being qualified. Why doesnt it go with `peppered` and `innocent`? What would be more appropriate? ``sheltering``???

Shehlah,

Good show! Keep them coming!

`A Hug...Sheltered like a virgin`s modesty` What is being qualified - the hug or the person being hugged? If it is the hug, sheltered looks out of place. If it is the person being hugged, it doesn`t go with the other qualifiers `Peppered...` and `Innocent...`.

`Not true` is good poetry. `Still in love` needs some work, however, closure is done quite well in it.

(yawn)

I ain`t no poet either but you got me thinking... does a poem at the back of a bus make it less of a poem? or one with lesser intensity and honesty of emotions?

*Kya gareeb ka dil nahin hota?* ;)
*If you prick us do we not bleed?....* (sorry yaar if the quote is off.... havent read M. of Venice since grade 8)

........ i hate to be party-pooper, but ``green eggs and ham`` is a lot better .......... however, this would look good on the back of a bus going to chiniot - specially the part about :

ik toota huwa dil hai seesay ki dewar kay peechay
lakhon hasratain dafn hain khamoosh mazar kay neechay

......... but, then again, i might be wrong for i ain`t no poet ............sorry .....

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Absolutely beautiful!

Really liked Not True

``The declaration to be a loner
Is just not true. ``

Wow.

kudos shehlah!!! kudos!!

Too good!! Says a lot in simple words.

`Not True` clearly shows the sensitivity of poet. A very gentle expression. Excellent!