Zehra Rizvi March 14, 2005
#14 Posted by Zehra on March 18, 2005 8:52:11 pm
great comments!
raw dust...interesting. iwill have to look into where i was taking and it and why it didnt go there. i think i just wanted this to be a musing of sorts. i also like to keep these things short..like 700-1000 words...i agree with temporal that much more makes for difficult reading on a monitor. having said that, i should not be sacrificing quality for space. thanks for comparing it to roy :)
SR: i think i did want to stay away from the personal...i know i did. cuz i dont have kids yet and i cant imagine what that will be like. but perhaps you are right..it does make a stronger statement but i like the ambiguity of it in the ned..youknow? does that make sense?
hamidm, anil, ansari, shoresahib and magnacarta...thanks for the encouragement.
thanks all,
z.rizvi
raw dust...interesting. iwill have to look into where i was taking and it and why it didnt go there. i think i just wanted this to be a musing of sorts. i also like to keep these things short..like 700-1000 words...i agree with temporal that much more makes for difficult reading on a monitor. having said that, i should not be sacrificing quality for space. thanks for comparing it to roy :)
SR: i think i did want to stay away from the personal...i know i did. cuz i dont have kids yet and i cant imagine what that will be like. but perhaps you are right..it does make a stronger statement but i like the ambiguity of it in the ned..youknow? does that make sense?
hamidm, anil, ansari, shoresahib and magnacarta...thanks for the encouragement.
thanks all,
z.rizvi
#13 Posted by SR on March 16, 2005 2:34:52 pm
{``...I can only imagine to love with all [my] might, ... some ingrates [I] can’t stop loving. It all sounds like some terrible inescapable curse. The unconditional love ...``}
Very nicely done Zehra... compelling and forceful... great style... but why refrain from the first personal singular at the very end, when owning up to inner feelings?
...SR
Very nicely done Zehra... compelling and forceful... great style... but why refrain from the first personal singular at the very end, when owning up to inner feelings?
...SR
#11 Posted by Raw_Dust on March 15, 2005 7:26:10 pm
this is good solid writing and i m no expert, just an average reader. but i say there could be alot of things and tricks that i have seen on film and fiction that could be pulled off when we tackle this memory related writing. article though did misguide me into expecting of something more than a meditation on homecoming... due to perhaps its use of metaphors.?.. very arundhati-esque... but it never managed to take off and deliver.. maybe i was mistaken...
good to see you writing back on chowk .
cheers-
good to see you writing back on chowk .
cheers-
#10 Posted by ShoreSahib on March 15, 2005 2:36:17 pm
Beautifully written.
Reminded me of my Dadi Ammi`s House.
Sigh.............
God, Do I miss the scents I have so associated with her.
The jasmine buds strewn in her earrings combined with her Oil of Olay. The Scent of a Matriarch.
The scent of freshly ground Garam Masala in the kitchen, or my phuppho baking her Naan Khatai`s and jelly covered biscuits. Sweet fragrance of Illaichi Chai wafting from the Veranda in the evening with Namak Paaras. The Heady scent of Raat ki Raani gaining strength as the evening turned into night, and then the fresh scent of Phulkaas as the KhanSaaman made some in the kitchen.
In America now, far away from Dadi Ammi, her divan, her Paandaan and khushboo.
Reminded me of my Dadi Ammi`s House.
Sigh.............
God, Do I miss the scents I have so associated with her.
The jasmine buds strewn in her earrings combined with her Oil of Olay. The Scent of a Matriarch.
The scent of freshly ground Garam Masala in the kitchen, or my phuppho baking her Naan Khatai`s and jelly covered biscuits. Sweet fragrance of Illaichi Chai wafting from the Veranda in the evening with Namak Paaras. The Heady scent of Raat ki Raani gaining strength as the evening turned into night, and then the fresh scent of Phulkaas as the KhanSaaman made some in the kitchen.
In America now, far away from Dadi Ammi, her divan, her Paandaan and khushboo.
#9 Posted by Ansari on March 15, 2005 1:11:27 pm
Correction: That was meant to be impious posture not ``pious imposture`` . . . it is 2 am and I`m roving around the house with a plate of cold daal chawal.
#8 Posted by Ansari on March 15, 2005 1:05:14 pm
Zehra: Thanks for a good read. Some gorgeous sentences in there, as Samina pointed out.
``The mirrors when they reflect, confuse me.``
It`s school pictures that do the same for me. What were we feeling when they took those? It`s hard to find the words now, lost as we are in a jargon of imitation and pious imposture.
Wo kya kaha tha Yeats ne:
``Labour is blossoming or dancing where
The body is not bruised to pleasure soul.
Nor beauty born out of its own despair,
Nor blear-eyed wisdom out of midnight oil.
O chestnut-tree, great-rooted blossomer,
Are you the leaf, the blossom or the bole?
O body swayed to music, O brightening glance,
How can we know the dancer from the dance?``
Regards to you and yours,
Aamir
``The mirrors when they reflect, confuse me.``
It`s school pictures that do the same for me. What were we feeling when they took those? It`s hard to find the words now, lost as we are in a jargon of imitation and pious imposture.
Wo kya kaha tha Yeats ne:
``Labour is blossoming or dancing where
The body is not bruised to pleasure soul.
Nor beauty born out of its own despair,
Nor blear-eyed wisdom out of midnight oil.
O chestnut-tree, great-rooted blossomer,
Are you the leaf, the blossom or the bole?
O body swayed to music, O brightening glance,
How can we know the dancer from the dance?``
Regards to you and yours,
Aamir
#7 Posted by Ansari on March 15, 2005 12:57:43 pm
Hamid sahab: with all due respect, sir, what I`d give to see you tyrannising some prospective rishta . . . bechara dum daba ke aisa bhaagay ga . . .
regards,
Aamir
regards,
Aamir
#6 Posted by anil on March 15, 2005 12:30:59 pm
hamidm (#5):
You stole my words and feelings I had after reading it. But when the daughters come back to the empty nest with happiness and glitter in their starry eyes nothing beats the heart more than the sight.
Anil
You stole my words and feelings I had after reading it. But when the daughters come back to the empty nest with happiness and glitter in their starry eyes nothing beats the heart more than the sight.
Anil
#5 Posted by hamidm2 on March 15, 2005 7:08:32 am
........... it struck a chord but now i am depressed - i think my daughter should come home and go to the local community college .......... it was a bad idea to let her go
#4 Posted by Zehra on March 15, 2005 12:05:12 am
hey all,
thanks for reading!
raw_dust...is it too cutesey for you? tell me more about why you want to throw up.
saminasha: thanks ! which ones? i personally like the toothbrush line a lot. stylistically stolen from my favorite author, ondaatje.
god, it feels great to be back on chowk :)
temporal: i love the column name...yay for the wonderful chowk editors for thinking it up :)
-z.rizvi.
thanks for reading!
raw_dust...is it too cutesey for you? tell me more about why you want to throw up.
saminasha: thanks ! which ones? i personally like the toothbrush line a lot. stylistically stolen from my favorite author, ondaatje.
god, it feels great to be back on chowk :)
temporal: i love the column name...yay for the wonderful chowk editors for thinking it up :)
-z.rizvi.
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